suzeanna

Have been in the garden enjoying the sunshine and planning where to plant my dahlias..then I looked on metcheck.com and its going to be SNOWING in my area next week! arghh!!!

Have you had this on the main chat board? not everyone looks at the lost/found...and if people live in the area and are out with the dogs they can look out for her? I hope you find her soon, its so cold at the moment

I've put him onto Terrier Talk...fingers crossed that all the extra publicity will bring a result.

Has anyone cross posted this to Terrier Talk? they have a lost dog forum...it might help. I'm so sorry he still hasn't been found.

Could someone explain the joke please...I dont get it??

No. Should I renew my very lapsed gym membership, or stay sitting on my bum in front of the computer?

http://www.worksmart.org.uk/downloads/9to5.php

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender haking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says... (wait for it) (Are you ready?) (don't hate me) "He should have quit while he was a head!"

A old man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian Medicine Man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?" The medicine man replies: "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year." The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess. That night he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic shaving lotion and cologne. After he gets into bed and is lying next to her, he says, "123"; and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man had promised. His wife, who had been facing away from him, turns over and asks, "What did you say '123' for?" Regards

At the end of a tiny deserted bar is a huge Scouse bloke - 6 feet 5 inches tall and 350 lbs. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously gay man walks in and sits beside him. After three or four beers, the queer finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Liverpudlian. Leaning over, he cups his huge ear: "ËœDo you want a blow job?" he whispers. At this, the massive Merseysider leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face. Knocking him off the stool, he proceeds to beat him all the way out of the bar. Finally, he leaves him, badly bruised, in the car park and returns to his seat as if nothing has happened. Amazed, the bartender quickly brings over another beer. "ËœI've never seen you react like that," he says. "ËœJust what did he say to you?" "not sure," the big Scouser replies. "Something about a job."

Two ducks check into a hotel for a dirty weekend. They get up to their room, only to discover they've no condoms. "No problem," quacks the male, "I'll just call down to room service and get them to bring one up." A few minutes later, room service is knocking at the door. The male duck waddles over, takes the condom and tips the lad. "Sir," asks the man, before leaving, "should I put that on your bill?" "Christ no!" quacks the duck, startled, "what do you think I am, some kind of pervert?!"

Its fine....so long as you stand on your head.....

After years of milking cows with the traditional stool-and-squirt method, Farmer Giles finds he has enough money to order a high-tech milking machine. The equipment arrives a few days later and, realising his wife is out for the day, decides to test the machine on himself first. After setting it up, he quickly eases his beef bayonet into the equipment and flicks the switch. The sucking teat pleasures him better than his wife ever could, but when it's over the machine will not release his member. In desperation, the farmer calls the Customer Service Hotline. "Hello," he winces, "I've just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but, er, how do I remove it from the cow's udder?" "Don't worry." Replies the rep. "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallons."

WOMEN'S REVENGE > >> >>>"Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman > >> >>>wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a > >> >>>remote control for a television set in her purse. "So, do you > >> >>>always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my > >> >>>husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was > >> >>>the most evil thing I could do to him legally." > >> >>> > >> >>>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN > >> >>>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) > >> >>> I know I'm not going to understand women. > >> >>> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it > >> >>>onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be > >> >>>afraid of a spider. > >> >>> > >> >>>MARRIAGE SEMINAR > >> >>>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom > > >> >>>and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential > >> >>>that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." > >> >>>He addressed the man, > >> >>>"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?" > >> >>>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, > >> >>>"It's Homepride, isn't it? > >> >>> > >> >>>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS > >> >>> A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. > >> >>>The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He > >> >>>answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She > >> >>>directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he > >> >>>deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a > > >> >>>ball of string on the counter. > >> >>> She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some > >> >>>tampons for your wife? > >> >>> He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife > >> >>>to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back > >> >>>with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's > >> >>>sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. > >> >>> So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she. > >> >>> > >> >>>WIFE VS. HUSBAND > >> >>>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a > >>word. > >> >>>An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them > >> >>>wanted to concede their position. > >> >>>As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband > >> >>>asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" > >> >>>"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." > >> > >> >>>W O R D S > >> >>>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women > >> >>>use a day... > >> >>>30,000 to a man's 15,000. > >> >>>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat > >> >>>everything to men... > >> >>>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" > >> >>> > >> >>>CREATION > >> >>> A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so > >> >>>stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. > >> >>> "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. > >> >>>God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made > >> >>>me stupid so I would be attracted to you! > >> >>> > >> >>>WHO DOES WHAT > >> >>>A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew > >> >>>the coffee each morning. > >> >>>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and > >> >>>then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." > >> >>>The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and > >> >>>you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait > >> >>>for my coffee." > >> >>>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the > >> >>>Bible that the man should do the coffee." > >> >>>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." > >> >>>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed > >> >>>him at the top of several pages, that it indeed > >> >>>says.........."HEBREWS" > >> >>> > >> >>>The Silent Treatment > >> >>>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were > >> >>>giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized > > >> >>>that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM > >> >>>for an early morning business flight. > >> >>>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he > >> >>>wrote > >>on > >> >>>a piece of paper, > >> >>>"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would > >> >>>find > >>it. > >> >>>The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM > > >> >>>and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see > >> >>>why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper > >>by > >> >>>the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." > >> >>>Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. > >> >>>God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough > > >> >>>draft before the masterpiece. > >>

Might be a bit too true to be funny....my husband said when he was at boarding school they had a pet guinea pig..it was on a chair one day, and the class heavyweight came in and sat down...bye bye guinea pig! (he didn't do it on purpose, didn't notice it and no one had time to warn him!)

Was she ever found?

Is the v the only method of identification, or is she also microchipped? only putting a v in the ear is a common way for a breeder to identify a pup which has been picked out of a litter as sold, to be collected later, they did it with a dobe I had many years ago. I know its easy when chatting to a beggar to fondle his dog, I do it all the time, but if you suddenly grab it up saying *this is stolen!* and it turns out not to be...you could be in trouble, not to mention probably getting a smack in the mouth from the beggar for trying to nick his dog.

Only just read this........excellent article, and very true. I wrote an email to someone.....some while ago now........which she read and took totally wrongly, and despite my attempts to explain this still wouldn't have it that I didn't mean it the way she read it, which means we have had no contact since.

I'd like to think these are all made up and people couldn't be that stupid.......unfortunately......life's experience has told me they are most likely true! :P

Kelly.....my bouncy happy loving girl Your ashes came home yesterday, in a box with a card with sympathy..and dried flowers in a bouquet. You sit on a shelf with Saphyre, Topaz and Jazz for company Little boxes, silent reminders of the vibrant, silly loving dogs you all were. We will never forget any of you. Sleep well, my friends, till we meet again.