dognabbit

CURTAIN RODS----PRICELESS She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!! People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......... And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

Heart

'This town ain't big enough for the both of us' - Sparks

Hi thank you for all your congratulations! I haven't been on here for a few days........ I would just like to say thank you to all who have helped out at White Lodge and still are, with all the cleaning, home checks, dog shows, fund raising and especially those who supported us through some difficult times (you know who you are ) And all those people who took the decision to let dogs share their lives with them! ;-)

Bl**dy hell!!! " Mr Edgar has worked with thousands of dogs..... When the greyhounds have finished racing, at around five years old, Mr Edgar rehomes them. He has placed 150 dogs in three years". 150 out of thousands doesn't sound like many? Tony Cunningham needs telling doesn't he? ;-)

This is rather sweet! ;-)

Hey that comment wasn't meant to make you feel uncomfortable! I know many peoples' circumstances mean they are unable to work and society has an obligation to take care of those people! SorryI included all of those who don't work together in the same sentence....... There are many who don't work and have no intention of working even though they could. I've been on the dole three times.... I hold my hands up to signing on straight from leaving school and getting money for doing sweet FA...... my first giro of £6.95 was spent on a pair of shoes for my girlfriend, wooden platforms with studded leather tops, thankfully they had the aerodynamics of Canary Wharf so I managed to dodge them when they were thrown!! Phew! I have been made redundant twice on those occasions I was grateful for any help I could get while I was out of work and found work as soon as I could! Everyones entitled to financial help but some take the p**s! ;-)

Dudley aka Brian Storm...... Some more pics.............

That's terrible! Someone should be held accountable! What a horrible way for the poor dog to die.......... he would've been better off left straying........ ;-(

If someone earned £200,000 per year, owned 4 houses and drove a convertible Mercedes would you say they were middle class? If you put people into classes, you probably would! I believe anyone who has to work to live is working class! If they don't work for living then they have too much money and should do something useful with it! Or they're lazy b*****ds and living off everyone elses money! Why are people living off the state classed as *working class*??? The person I mentioned is a single mother of 2, left school at 15 lied to her mum who thought she was at school. got a job in Shaftsbury Avenue in London. Kind of lied about her age. Was pushed into a marriage with her first daughter's father at 18 had another daughter. Left her husband at 20, had allsorts of crap jobs including being a Bunnygirl, got the sack for decking an arab with one punch! Ha! Decided she had to buy a house, did 4 jobs at the same time while neighbours looked after her kids. Slept between 4-6 hours a night. Saved £8,000 which was half the cost of the house, eventually got a mortgage for the other £8000. Bit of confusion with the old couple she bought the house from, they didn't realise they had to move out!? So they lived with them for a year until she found them somewhere else to live (sounds weird but true). Never remarried and brought up her girls on her own! Now she's pretty comfortable but she's worked very hard to get to that point and still is! Her daughters' memory of their mum when they were children was she always seemed to be 'tired'! "That's because I f****ng was!" her words! Oh if you're interested I grew up in a council house in Reading, both my parents worked, full and partime jobs at the same time, sort of sat 'o' levels! Well I was there in body, mind somewhere else (music & girls)! Now own (big bit of it belongs to the Bank of Scotland) a boarding kennels and run a small rescue with Clazuk......... Still working everyday, so must be working class! I don't judge people by there supposed class, there are either good people or bad people, takers or givers! I know who I prefer to be friends with! Gary ;-)

Yes it's ehtical!! Animals are farmed feeding them plants, being a vegetarian cuts out the middle man (animal)!! I've been a vegetarian for 26 years (sort of wish I hadn't admitted that) clearly I gave up meat when I was 18 months old, being only 27 1/2 years old! lol Anyway I must've produced a fair amount of gas, don't think that's helped the global warming situation! I did stop drinking guiness when I was about 20 tho, you know 7 1/2 years ago! I think I must've saved the planet!!! Single handedly!! ;-)

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Hey Lily Have a restful night......... Some blossom to sniff in the morning babe................loads of strokes from the other daft old bugger! ;-)

Happy Birthday Shaddy Bob!! Daft old bugger..............

Dog trumps don't smell!! You wake up in the night wanting a pee! You need to pee so badly you rush across the landing not smelling the dog poo, tripping over your own feet you land face first in the steaming pile! urgh is still warm!! I wish I had more sense!

A random baby camel! Just because I can!! lol I go now.......... ;-)

Hi just been sent this! Not sure Bush has ever done anything rightreally? I think the sentences in this country should be on a parr with these!!!!! Bush Finally Did Something Right! President Signs Animal Fighting Bill Into Law Dear Little, I wanted to be the first to share with you some fantastic news. Today President Bush signed the Animal Fighting Prohibition Enforcement Act into law. This is the culmination of an almost six-year campaign by The Humane Society of the United States and our allies to enact meaningful federal penalties for animal fighting. The law takes effect immediately. It provides felony penalties for interstate commerce, import and export related to animal fighting activities, including commerce in cockfighting weapons. It will make it much harder for criminals who engage in dogfighting and cockfighting to continue their operations. Each violation of the federal law may bring up to three years in jail and up to a $250,000 fine for perpetrators. We are fortunate to have had steadfast Congressional leadership on this issue. But this campaign would not have been a success without your tireless efforts. Thank you again to each of you who sent emails, made phone calls, wrote letters and visited your federal legislators on Capitol Hill and in their home districts. This victory reminds us to never to give up, and that there are rewards for compassionate action and perseverance. Please share this tremendous news with others and let them know that you had a part in making it happen. Sincerely, Wayne Pacelle President & CEO ;-)

Yep you're in big trouble now! A lace hankie in her watch strap can't be very big? I hope she doesn't dribble a lot? Hey I always wear a suit to muck out the kennels! ;-)

I have been dribbled on many times! Usually dog dribble tho' If they get there fax machine returned and I collect that one back from you, let me know if LaVerne will be there I'll wear a plastic mac or something! Oh don't tell me she likes a man in a plastic mac too? And a snorkle just in case!!

Dear Auntie Melps, Last weekend I attended a BBQ and spoke to the man at number 37 not only does he have a wooden Sussex style garage for his BMW 318i but he also has a 20 x 20 lawn with a tree. The BBQ menu consisted of pasta with lentil and red pepper sauce, spinach and cream cheese pancakes, veggie chilli, brown rice risotto, scrambled tofu and alu-chole (? Yeah, that's what I thought) and things on toast! The conversation was mostly about how water makes us mental, how coffee increases the risk of miscarriage and lawn-mowers cause deafness in middle-aged men who, if they dance, will get glamrock shoulder. Which brings me to point in question what’s the best cure for glamrock shoulder??? Oh and some further advice please, the woman from number 28 called me into her garden where she had been sunbathing on her 20 x 20 lawn with a tree. She had been stung by a bee in an intimate place. She asked me if I could help her find the sting which was, causing quite a lot of discomfort, knowing my eyesight was pretty useless she suggested I tried to feel for the sting with my lips, lips being sensitive you understand. Well I tried for a good 20 minutes and couldn’t find it! She was obviously suffering, she shook, moaned and screamed (that’s when I thought I found it) then she told me to stop. I left avoiding her BMW 318i which was parked outside her Sussex style garage. Later I got a call asking if I could try again, surely a magnifying glass and tweezers would be the best way to find and remove it??? Looking forward to hearing your advice, when my shoulders better I can pop over to number 28 and help with that beesting. ;-)

DAVE The best name for a dog! Everyone knows someone or something called Dave! Uncle Dave Dave the builder Dave next door Dave the tractor The right honourable Dave Dave the earthworm That bloke Dave down the pub Dave on the bins Dave's chippy A mop called Dave and DAVE THE DOG You see it's such a versatile name! Here Dave come on boy! Oi! Dave put that down! Dave's had the chicken again! It just has to be Dave!

Don't understand why you can't?? You're not missing that much!! lol ;-D

See what they get upto when you leave 'em alone for 5 minutes!! ;-D