lazydaisy Posted November 5, 2008 Report Share Posted November 5, 2008 Me again and the perenial problem with my x. At the moment x has son every other weekend, every Wednesday night and alternative Thursday night. I am not happy with the Thursday visit and want to stop it. X does not pay any maintenance, always claims he has no money. But last week he informed me he was not having son one Wednesday in November because he is going away with girlfriend. Does not care about the disruption he causes by this, to son, me and my daughter (we have things arranged on Wed night because Dan is with his dad). He does not have parental rights (son born in 1998) because he has not bothered to apply for it (because he had to pay for a new birth certificate). I need to know - does residency orders still exist? Do I have the right to cut out the Thursday night visit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 My advice is to cut out whatever doesn't suit you and your son. If he wants established rights then he can get his lazy butt to court, get it done legally and pay his way like any decent father does. When my ex was messing my kids around, and didn't pay any maintainance, I cut him off completely and told him to take it to court and get ir sorted. They never saw him again until about 30 years later when they saw him at a christening.One decent loving parent is far more settling and secure than two arguing ones . Kids are very sensitive and pick up on tension etc. Do what you feel is best foryour son. Good luck. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacqui d Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Have a look HERE and se if it helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9Fran Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 I didn't think Father's had any rights - all the rights should rest with the child and what is best for them.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retrieverspal Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 don't know much about your circumstances but from what i can remember.. he has Parental Responsibility if his name is on the birth certificate or given by the court Residency Order will only be given through the court if he has done nothing to gain either of these you have no obligation to let him see your son without court intervention should you so wish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted November 6, 2008 Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 I'm swimming against the tide here, I fear - I'd make absolutely sure that your son's needs are put first. Does he want to see his dad on Thursdays? I went through similar issues but I decided to make it easy for my ex to see them whenever they (the children) wanted. It isn't a matter of "he isn't paying; therefore he hasn't earned the right to see his son" - although I wonder how on earth he is managing to get away with not paying support?? - it's his child's right to see his father whether or not that father is a good provider, in the financial sense. Quite apart from anything else, I never wanted the day to come when any of mine would accuse me of interfering in their relationship with my ex. Once they're adult, they can make their own decisions about the quality of his involvement in their young lives. Would you consider going to family mediation to see if this can all be discussed in front of a neutral party? I can't comment on the legal side, because Scots law is different. By the way, I do know how hard it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted November 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2008 Thanks for the advice. We have been to mediation. Which is when I said I would not make it difficult for him to get parental rights. He has not bothered to do this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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