Stress

[nouggatti]

I am going through a relatively ( read as massively) stressful time at work and am trying to come up with ways of dealing with it.

 

When I am stressed it manifests itself basically as a desire to vomit, I feel like I am going to gag and have constant gag reflexes, it gets more frequent the more stressed I am, at the moment I have a constantly dodgy tum, but have never actually vomited.

 

I'm looking for ways to manage this, I recognise that I need to manage it, and need to switch off, which I am very bad at, but am wondering if anyone has any suggestions?

 

 

I have no hobbies outside of forums and my pets so that's an area to start in and I tend to suffer from a lack of belief in my ability if that is any help.

 

Thanks for reading!

[nouggatti]

Nobody?

 

[Carole Stitcher]

Can I ask what is causing it? The potential remedies are pretty much determined by the cause.

 

E.G. if its sheer volume that is causing the stress, then planning and prioritising can alleviate the problem, but wouldn't help at all with a relationship issue.

[elricc]

I have just gone back to work after being off from stress for 2 months, I couldn't make decisions anymore and just crumpled, what I am aware of is that I will never let myself get into that state again. My job is by its nature very stressful, but I generally deal with that, but because I deal with things and soldier on, I realised I was getting more and more put upon me and asked to deal with more and more difficult kids.

Getting excellent OFSTED ratings for my dept has been a curse as peopl;e have tried to send their kids from hell to our school for us to deal with.

I managed too many people as well as dealing with too many disturbed teenagers, while battleing social services, my school, LEA etc etc and attending mental health reviews for very disturbed families. My Occupational Helath told me I was suffering from emotional fatigue and was totally numb amd had reacted to an abnormal situation normally, I took on anothers work load as they had not replaced him after he left

 

This time has allowed me to feel normal again. Making the collars and leads has been excellent, as has allowing me to get over my feelings of total shame and failure that I reacted like that.

What I am saying is that work should not make you feel like that and to do something before you crumple.

[Sherlock Bones]

Erm. I smoke. A lot.

 

That doesn't really help does it.

 

I also use retail therapy, but that only works when you have money and only stresses more when you don't.

 

I do have outside hobbies in the form of my Brownies and Doglost, although both do tend to suffer when i'm very stressed but i do try not to let Brownies suffer and force myself to the once weekly routine of a brownie meeting to get myself totally out of work. No-one there would have a clue what i do at work and 7 yr old kids simply don't care.

 

I also go and see my niece a lot - she grounds me... and i can be silly Auntie Dee, not responsible boss. She couldn't care less who i was outside of home and just asked me when i mentioned to her mum i'd had conversations with two policemen why a nasty man called me and then that she would help me when she was a policeman (she is 5). I take her and her brother out some weekends, get away from having to think about work.

 

I book holidays where I cannot be contacted. I also work from home if i get too stressed and i'm no longer afraid to turn off my telephone and shut out the world and regather my thoughts before continuing dealing with stressy issues.

 

I don't get the vomit thing but i do dread some days when i'm expected to smile and deal with everyone else's problems as well as my own and i've had a couple of sleepless nights and everyone is looking at me wanting answers - but i do get the dodgy tum. I haven't found a solution to it as yet. My email to my chairman the other day simply said Help. I ask when i haven't a clue what to do.

 

I no longer allow problems that can be delegated to be my problems, and i delegate a lot. I don't need little annoyances, i can only make decisions without stress if i know facts and someone else has presented them to me.

 

I'm not sure i'm helping

[Tisaann]

Oh Dear! Welcome to my world. My body's way of dealing with stress is to form itchy can't-get-rid-of lumps and when dealing with difficult/rude/demanding customers over the phone I find that I claw these lumps until either the phone call finishes or I cause pain whilst scratching and they bleed and I have to stop. If it wasn't for these people my job would be great but I just don't know how to deal with nasty people I'm one of life's 'don't say anything at the time but think of lots of responces once I lay in bed at night'. So all I can offer I'm afraid is a big and a big X

[nouggatti]

Can I ask what is causingy boss it? The potential remedies are pretty much determined by the cause.

 

E.G. if its sheer volume that is causing the stress, then planning and prioritising can alleviate the problem, but wouldn't help at all with a relationship issue.

 

It's sheer volume, combined with the fact that I jumped about three steps on the job ladder when I took this job, I've told my boss who is wonderful that I'd not have taken the job if I knew what it involved as the spec was unclear

 

Put crudely if the changes I am implementing work, it will be seen as a model for the organisation .

 

I do love the job and it is temporary stress that's all, I can relax in the evenings I'd just like to get rid of the gag impulse.,

 

I have just gone back to work after being off from stress for 2 months, I couldn't make decisions anymore and just crumpled, what I am aware of is that I will never let myself get into that state again. My job is by its nature very stressful, but I generally deal with that, but because I deal with things and soldier on, I realised I was getting more and more put upon me and asked to deal with more and more difficult kids.

Getting excellent OFSTED ratings for my dept has been a curse as peopl;e have tried to send their kids from hell to our school for us to deal with.

I managed too many people as well as dealing with too many disturbed teenagers, while battleing social services, my school, LEA etc etc and attending mental health reviews for very disturbed families. My Occupational Helath told me I was suffering from emotional fatigue and was totally numb amd had reacted to an abnormal situation normally, I took on anothers work load as they had not replaced him after he left

 

This time has allowed me to feel normal again. Making the collars and leads has been excellent, as has allowing me to get over my feelings of total shame and failure that I reacted like that.

What I am saying is that work should not make you feel like that and to do something before you crumple.

 

Laura, my stress is temporary and will be followed by a big high (if all goes well, I'm implementing something never done before in my company)

 

I do think I really need a hobby

 

 

Erm. I smoke. A lot.

 

That doesn't really help does it.

 

I also use retail therapy, but that only works when you have money and only stresses more when you don't.

 

I do have outside hobbies in the form of my Brownies and Doglost, although both do tend to suffer when i'm very stressed but i do try not to let Brownies suffer and force myself to the once weekly routine of a brownie meeting to get myself totally out of work. No-one there would have a clue what i do at work and 7 yr old kids simply don't care.

 

I also go and see my niece a lot - she grounds me... and i can be silly Auntie Dee, not responsible boss. She couldn't care less who i was outside of home and just asked me when i mentioned to her mum i'd had conversations with two policemen why a nasty man called me and then that she would help me when she was a policeman (she is 5). I take her and her brother out some weekends, get away from having to think about work.

 

I book holidays where I cannot be contacted. I also work from home if i get too stressed and i'm no longer afraid to turn off my telephone and shut out the world and regather my thoughts before continuing dealing with stressy issues.

 

I don't get the vomit thing but i do dread some days when i'm expected to smile and deal with everyone else's problems as well as my own and i've had a couple of sleepless nights and everyone is looking at me wanting answers - but i do get the dodgy tum. I haven't found a solution to it as yet. My email to my chairman the other day simply said Help. I ask when i haven't a clue what to do.

 

I no longer allow problems that can be delegated to be my problems, and i delegate a lot. I don't need little annoyances, i can only make decisions without stress if i know facts and someone else has presented them to me.

 

I'm not sure i'm helping

 

I delegate plenty I think I am simply over whelmed temporarily and not coping well, things have just collided at a bad time.

 

You know it's funny but just writing it down and having the replies that made me think have helped hugely thank you all for your replies

Edited April 19, 2008 by nouggatti

[Carole Stitcher]

Well done you, whether your idea works or not. It takes a lot of bottle to try something new, even more when it is something that is an immense change.

 

My guess is that the gagging is a fear reaction. It may help to try to define when you start to gag as that probably indicates the point(s) that you are most concerned about or are most likely to go wrong.

 

Once you have defined what you are concerned about, you can work on what you need to do to sort it out to your satisfaction and I think you will find that the gagging will stop. This may mean that you have to accept that there is a risk factor that you can't eliminate, because sometimes you can't, especially if your project involves people.

 

The biggest trick in dealing with stress is learning to be comfortable with yourself and your abilities.

[Maria]

Reflexology / massage/ essential oils

When I was in my very high stress job, I used to carry my stress in my shoulders, in that they would ache a lot, and feel uncomfortable. I started to have a 1 hour session of reflexology once a fortnight, and the area just below my little toes (which represent the shoulders) would 'crack' like bubble wrap. I would then be in a lovely haze for the rest of the afternoon. I still have it now,once a fortnight, even though I'm not in that environment anymore - I just find it sooo relaxing. I do have someone come to my house- no way could I drive anywhere afterwards I'm so chilled

Massage is another relaxant, as is essential oils (an aromatherapy massage is heaven). I also used to always carry lavender essential oil with me - if I started to feel a but stressed (eg being stuck in traffic when on a deadline), I would get my lavender out and inhale deeply.........

 

I knew someone who found those relaxation / meditation tapes really useful, but I couldn't relax enough to sit still to listen to them.

[nouggatti]

Well done you, whether your idea works or not. It takes a lot of bottle to try something new, even more when it is something that is an immense change.

 

My guess is that the gagging is a fear reaction. It may help to try to define when you start to gag as that probably indicates the point(s) that you are most concerned about or are most likely to go wrong.

 

Once you have defined what you are concerned about, you can work on what you need to do to sort it out to your satisfaction and I think you will find that the gagging will stop. This may mean that you have to accept that there is a risk factor that you can't eliminate, because sometimes you can't, especially if your project involves people.

 

The biggest trick in dealing with stress is learning to be comfortable with yourself and your abilities.

 

You've got it in one Carole, it's a fear thing, the sheer magnitude of what I am doing is frightening to me and visible to the entire organisation, as I have gotten nearer to it happening the gagging is more frequent.

 

Thank you I'll update as we go through it and I sincerely mean the thanks it so helps to articulate this

 

And you are very right I have to believe in myself I apparently am a very capable person but I just don't belive in myself.

 

ETA I have been told in the past that I need to believe in myself more.

Edited April 19, 2008 by nouggatti

[Alison]

A million tips, mostly mischief related but I'm too tired now. Proddle me tomorrow.

[jacqui d]

I went through very similar for quite some time and instead of sharing, bottled it up to the point where migraines took over my life and every nerve in my body was on edge 24/7, answering the phone became impossible and visits to anyone stopped.

 

The first step to recovery for me, is the one you've just taken, I had to admit to myself I had a problem and ask for help

 

Next step was some special friends who helped me through complete withdrawal of all the things that stressed me, i quite literally took ten steps back from my own life, picked out the important parts (family, friends and work) and set myself a period of time to not involve myself in anything else.

 

It was supposed to be one month, but i think i stretched it to a fair bit longer before i was relaxed enough to then set achievable goals for myself, small steps, but each one a huge victory for me.

 

Im 8 months in to "recovery" now, the same friends are still "watching over me" and i am achieving more each day, answering the phone AND ringing people i havent met while at home (i do it as second nature in work) is getting easier by the day, I have had more social nights out in the last few months than I used to have in a year and i am actually able to face problems by taking steps back from them, walking away for a while, then walking back when i can best cope rather than the panic approach that i used to have which left me tring to tackel 6 million jobs at once and frying my brain and body.

 

My self confidence is re building, slowly, i still panic from time to time, but these days i am smilling every day as i know the panic will pass if i step away from the problem and return when im ready.

 

Sorry if this doesnt help your problems Theresa, but I thought I'd share just to let it know it does get better

[merledogs]

Have a look at www.stressbusting.co.uk

[Rachel Rumpelstiltskin]

Stupid question- have you looked into yoga?

 

Im a natural worrier and stress myself out alot of the time, and i have found yoga has really taught me to relax and listen to my body. Ive only been to a few sessions but i walk away totally chilled and my head is clear, i did fall asleep completly in one lesson which was a bit embrassing.

 

From the lessons ive learnt how to relax myself in every day life and how simple breathing techniques really calm my head. My body is coping with the stress alot better now and i sleep alot better too which helps!

[Natalie34]

Hi

I take Kalm tablets when I am stressed, a friend recommended them to me who when stressed becomes a real cow ..... not pleasant for her family or friends

so she started taking Kalms and swears the affect its had is amazing