Wills

[Nettie]

I would have thought better to just attached to the will. Letters going out now will only caused more strife for Cocoa.

 

 

Well that's what I thought but must have misunderstood the original question.

[merledogs]

I don't have kids obviously, but I do have a will and it specifically stipulates who my dogs will go to. It also specifies where I do not want my dogs to end up (which so called "rescues") under any circumstances. I have told the people who will have my dogs (I checked with them first that it was okay) and if they cannot take them, then I trust them completely to find my dogs alternative homes. I have also excluded one or two people from attending my funeral, knowing what is in my will, etc but I haven't told them that.

 

I agree that you should tell the people who are to look after the kids (you would presumably need their agreement first anyway) and not tell those who are not, because as has been said, why cause more hassle when relations are strained anyway?

Edited April 7, 2008 by madmerle

[pboae]

We have the advantage with dogs that they are 'chattels' and you can leave them as you would any other property.

 

That doesn't apply to your children. You can specify who your money goes to, even if it is in trust for your children, and you can express your wishes about a guardian, but you cannot actually appoint a guardian. Anyone with a valid connection can challenge your preference, and a court can over rule it. That's why it's essential you give as much detail as you possibly can as to why you have made your choice, so that the courts can take that into account, because obviously you won't be there to argue your case!

 

As to whether it's better to tell people or not, it depends very much on the circumstances. I've told people most of what is in my will, because I know it will cause some ructions. As far as I am concerned if people have a problem with it, they can come and talk to me about it now (even though I'll tell them where to stick it ). I don't want my chosen beneficiaries to find themselves in the middle of a family civil war, having to defend what they've been given. I've formally notified people already, and if anyone did try to challenge it, it will be taken into account that they were aware of this whilst I was still alive and either did nothing about it, or I rejected their claims.

 

You can also leave letters to relevant parties with your will, to be given out after your death (with a copy kept with the will as well). In which you can explain everything without having to deal with it in person.

 

It is all quite a minefield, if your solicitor thinks it's better to tell people, than listen to her reasons why before you decide. But in the end only you know your family well enough to decide.

Edited April 7, 2008 by pboae

[fee4]

be very clear

 

my old friend Debbie has left me both her kids in her will

but we talked long and hard about it-i dont have kids-so Deb knows they would be No1 for me.

we also discussed schooling/whether i would move-whch i would/access to grandparents etc.etc

God forbid anything happens to her-i know exactly what i will be doing, and Deb knows i would fullfill her wishes

 

fee

[Kathyw]

I still have the sworn documents (friend work in the legal profession and wanted it legal) that were made for the children of some friends who in their stupidity thought I would be the right person to 'leave' their children to.

 

Thankfully all the children are now grown but I kept the documents - don't know why. Should give them to the children to show them what a lucky escape they all had.