Fuming

[bebe]

Only just read this Brigette. Firstly chill out yourself. Put on some music and get a drink. (tea of course) I wouldnt force Ty to go out if she doesnt want to now, but try 'teasing' her out with George maybe tomorrow. Don't make a big deal of things. If she doesnt want to go, walk George round the block and back again. I wouldnt contemplate the car right now, knowing a little of Tys history, it may be too much. Just focus on getting her back out, then you can move onto walking upto and past the car, then open the door of the car and walk past etc, etc. (you know how it goes by now) It doesnt matter a damn what other people think of you and how you deal with Ty's issues. You are the only one who REALLY knows her and what her little quirks are and how she is likely to respond to things. Go with your gut instinct! Listen to her! Have confidence in yourself.

 

Thanks Andrea.

 

Im sorry everyone.

[Kathyw]

Only just read this Bebe and I must say you are a better person than I.

 

If anyone of my 'friends' took my car off to wash it without telling me and left me (she didn't know how quick/slow you would be inside the vets) standing I would be f-ing fuming, steam would have been coming out of my ears.

 

If my nervous dog (and she was aware of Ty's problems) was also in said car, she would be ex friend. I am angry just thinking about this.

 

I would not have apologised, she would have got the mother of all earhole bashing and told where to go.

 

Never would that person get anywhere near me or my animals again.

 

 

 

Where we used to park our car was close to a 'maryellen's house' and Ray was working on location in a muddy field, our car was filthy so this neighbours wash and waxed it as he didn't like it being dirty near his house. Ray was ballistic and there was no doglet in the car. He had no business taking it upon himself to decide what Ray wanted or didn't want.

 

To leave you there without saying what she was going to do, how long would it have taken to put her head round the doot of the vets and say - no doubt she knew you would say no, no with Ty in the car.

I cannot get over her attitude. Tell her to take a running jump if you ever speak to her again.

 

Edited to add for you and for Ty, I was so angry at your so-called friends actions that I forgot the hugs.

Edited April 23, 2007 by Kathyw

[cockergirl]

A point to remember Bebe is that during and after a stressful incident a dog's adrenaline levels shoot up and all sorts of other physiological changes occur (fight or flight etc.) and it can take them several days to return to homeostasis (i.e. normal!) after this so this may be why Ty is reluctant to go back outside today. I would give her a day or two to calm down again and get back to feeling normal before trying to make her go outside or near the car or else she'll just be getting continually flooded with stress hormones without them having a chance to go away if you see what I mean?

[Lindsay]

She froze at the front door

 

.......................

 

I,ll do the same again in a few hours I think, and build up gradually to going outside of the gate and then tackle the car when we,ve got that far. I do want to show her Im confidant, but Im afraid if I push her she,ll go back to how she was a few months ago when she wouldnt even go out the front door. So Im not sure if Im doing the right thing or not??

 

Bebe, IMO it's too early - wait for a few days and let her stress levels go down, don't try to do anything with her just now.

 

There's an old saying about getting back on the horse after you've fallen - it never did me any good, I was much better if I waited a day or two. I suggest this may

be the case with Ty too - give her time to "forget" a little and when you do go out start off as if nothing had happened. If she then gets scared, use clicker etc.

 

RE the friend - well, she may be good as a friend but I suspect she didn't actually care if Ty was upset or not. Being old school she may have thought it would even do her good. I think

her behaviour was actually not on - driving off without asking you, etc. She may even have thought it would be "good" for Ty. I'd make peace with her and rekindle the friendship

but make it very clear she is not to do anything like that again.

[Brenda]

Bebe, I am sure your friend had the best intentions, but the fact is, she didn't even think about what she was doing and the consequences and quite honestly i would have been fuming too! I would give yourself time to calm down and then speak to her and tell her why you were so angry. We all lose our tmeoer at times, I know I do! If she is a good friend then she will understand why you were so upset and angry. I hope Ty is okay and you too.

[bebe]

Thanks everyone. Lyndsay, you said to remind you about the anxiety program-thingy for Ty?

 

Ive got my very serene head on now, so I want to explain a few things before I go, or I,ll forget and use the wrong words again. I seem to be having a lot of problems putting things into the right words lately and it comes out all bass-ackwards.

 

Raiye, It did seem as if I was snapping at you didnt it? Im sorry. I really wasnt saying it and feeling snappy, I was just typing as I thought, I felt sad and a bit emotional and my choice of words couldve been better.

 

Di, when I said "I dont care if people agree with me or not", I wasnt being sarcastic or arguing with you. I meant I didnt care that people disagreed with me, as in "I wont get upset if views arnt the same as mine", and accept we dont have to all agree, type of thing. Again, I used the wrong phrase, so it wouldve looked like I was basically saying "I dont give a s***, Im right". Maybe I shoudve said I dont mind , not I dont care. It was easy to misread that, and Im sorry.

 

And Jacobean, I used the words "bad tempered cow", I know you didnt say it, I never said you did, and I was being flippant and making a joke of it when I posted that and used the smilies, I was in a better mood by then and tried to be light-hearted, obviously it didnt come across that way, with hindsight I can see why it would look bad.

 

I,ll admit to feeling a bit defensive when you said I keep arguing in front of Ty, because as anyone that comes to the house will testify, Tyra is a very calm and happy little girl in the house, very relaxed and chilled, its only outside she gets scared, and I do put her first, so it stung a bit for you to imply otherwise. But I was genuine when I posted saying I didnt mean to upset you, and Im genuine now when I say Im sorry. I would never throw anyones advice back in their face, not intentionally, god knows Ive needed enough of it over the years

 

I think, like anyone whose passionate about something, I can feel slighted if I think someone is criticizing something that Ive worked very hard at, and I have worked hard with Ty. Its bloody hard having a dog like Tyra a lot of the time, lots of you have experience of that so know what I mean, and sometimes little throw-away remarks can cause a lot of self-doubt. (Just as things Ive written on this thread has been misunderstood, so have the things some of you wrote, we all get misunderstood, or misunderstand others) Thats no excuse for me just typing away and not thinking how it will read to others though, I can be a stupid cow when I try to be

 

Im going to leave Ty in for a few days, maybe even untill the weekend, so she doesnt have to deal with anything alien or scary to her, she,ll let me know when shes ready to brave it

 

Thanks everyone.