Hi I understand about locking grief and worries away, I have coped through life by locking things away in "boxes" and when I feel able to cope with something I take it out if the "box" and then put it away again, sometimes it is the onle way to deal with life's rubbish times.
When my first little companion was taken from me too early I also used to hear him barking, and I got comfort out of taking my other dogs across the fields and then calling them back to me, including his name, they seemed to like that too, as we miss calling them. I lost him 17 years ago and can still burst in tears when that box is opened usually when looking at photos.
I hope you have had some peace restored, after the outburst of grief, sending love and wishes to you, take care