Alfiesmum

Just to reply to a few questions - I have two friends up here other than the people that run the local Refuge. They are happily married with 2.4 children and Ive not known them for very long, so although Ive talked about it, they really have no idea, they are not doggy people, and couldnt offer any advice or practical help other than a cup of tea. It doesnt help that they live across the road, so when I move I will be further away from anyone I know in the near vicinity and have to start all over again. Ive applied for this twice, both times been turned down due to the fact that Im just not in the right threshold limit for getting this benefit. Thats really really kind of you, its been hard enough to actually write this post and even harder to decide what to do with my dogs and my life. Im not going to be able to find a place that will accept two dogs, if I have to go into a B&B/hostel/temp accomodation I could be there for a long time. Its going to have to be a much much smaller place (Im only in a 2 bed now), so not enough room for two dogs and Ive got to think of his long term future. He needs to go into a permanent home as I dont know what my future is going to be or if I would ever be able to get him back from you. It would just add to my worries thinking was he being well behaved, were you getting fed up with having him, I would feel guilty about his food bills and the length of time he was being looked after. So thankyou so much that is such a generous gesture and you are so very kind, but I think that this option is the best for us. Thats part of the problem, unless I can earn enough to pay all the bills, all the childcare, all the rent and afford to come off benefits, my situation wont change. I earn the maximum I can earn on all the benefits Im on to do my 'bit' and it just doesnt work. I can honestly see why people benefit cheat I really can. Fostering would be lovely if I knew where I was going and when and that everything would be ok when I got there, but its not likely to be. Also if I rented somewhere and said I had no dogs and then two suddenly turned up, they would be within their rights to evict me due to breaking tenancy agreements. Also Im not sure if Wulvern Housing have a blanket no dogs policy in their houses. Im going to log off now until Monday, Im going to bed I think, Im completely worn out, and my children are going down to see their dad tomorrow for the next week and they dont want to go but thats part of a court agreement as well.

Firstly I want to say thankyou so much for all your offers of help and advice, Ive logged in here and just bawled my eyes out (again). You are all such lovely generous people with hearts of gold even though you dont know me. I will try my best to reply to each of you that have asked specific things by pm. Ive spent most of this afternoon trying to sort things out. The council where I live Crewe and Nantwich has the highest level of Polish people coming to live here in the UK. They come from another country and have nothing and no family, they are also not able to be employed until they have an address. They end up with more 'points' than I do even with my reason for moving here, that counts for nothing. All council housing is managed by Wulvern Housing and Ive rung them. They have told me that they cannot house me until I am literally on my last day here. If Ive been given two months notice they would see that I would have had ample time to find another place to live, especially if Ive been in private rented for the last year. If I had done nothing myself about finding a place to live the only place they could put me would be a hostel for as long as it took. Nantwich has no homes available at the moment and Crewe only have hostels which are full to the brim with ALL sorts of people, they are even putting two families in homes that are more suitable for one. There are some very unpredictable areas around here that I would not be able to live with myself if I had to go there. Im not fussy but I dont want to live with drug addicts and dealers and even Wulvern said that it would not be suitable for the children - could they go and live with their dad (they did know about the DV) My youngest (aged 7) is already on his third primary school and my eldest on his second senior school and they have finally settled and are trying so hard to catch up. They HAVE to stay at the same schools for the long term future's sake so we have to stay in Nantwich. Ive had a long talk with my landlady and she has reluctantly agreed that she wont put the house on the market until June as my tenancy agreement is up for renewal on the 10th August which gives me two months notice before my tenancy agreement finishes. That said, I still havent got enough money coming in to still live here. I had a £250 gas bill this morning, which means that my direct debit is now going up but £15 per month, and my water bill is due out in the next four days, its going up by at least 10%. Rock and hard place because there is no where else to go and not enough money to stay. Ollie papillon is going into a rescue from here next week, I sobbed my heart out down the phone, and I will break to a million pieces when he goes, my children are with their dad next week, so I can fall apart on my own. I cant part with Alfie Cavvie at the moment, he looks like my Rosie that I lost last year due to heart failure, I might have to rehome him, but I cant lose both at once. Im going to be offline all weekend, I cant get my head round all of this and just finding it all too much.

Thankyou so much for all your replies, hopefully I can answer some of your questions. The problem is that due to a stroke I had seven years ago after the birth of my son Im on incapacity benefit rather than Income support, which is about five pounds more per week and entitles me to a disability allowance in my child tax credit. The only problem with that is that Im only allowed to earn less than £89 per week and less than 16 hours and I have to get a form signed by the school to send to Incapacity, which has proved difficult to be employed in the first place. If I was to go on income support I would be getting a lot less. Because my sons school know me, they have tweaked the hours and pay to fit which is why its going to be so difficult to find another job. Ive thought about childminding which Ive done when my eldest son was at home, but its not allowed in my tenancy agreement. You are only entitled to Crisis/uniform/Community Care grants if you are on Income support as Ive already looked into that one when my car needed sorting as its my mobility as well as transport. It says under my name at the side I think - Im in Nantwich Cheshire. Local supermarket is Morrisons for whoever asked My eldest school uniform is black trousers and pale blue long sleeved shirts hes in aged 15 size as hes 5 ft 9! No free courses for teaching assistants here Im afraid. Im ringing the local housing association in about ten minutes as they dont open until 10. Im not entitled to a council house, I dont have enough 'points' and Ive not lived in this council area long enough unfortunately. Sorry this sounds so negative, Ive had to talk to the children this morning at length and they are both in floods of tears. Thankyou for the hugs xx

Im sitting here in floods of tears and I really dont know what to do. Im a single mum on benefits and I earn as much as Im allowed to under all their various rules at a local primary school so I do as much as I can to do my bit.The little boy I work with is going to be going to a special school, so my position is not needed anymore. So Ive got about a week left at work after the easter holidays and then I will be jobless. This has come completely out of the blue and is his parents decision rather than the schools. Money is/has always been extremely tight and at the moment my 14 yr old son, has got a single pair of school trousers that dont actually do up, a pair of shoes that the soles have seperated from the toes and school shirts that are up his arms and dont do up either. My car failed its mot and its taken me six weeks to get £100 of repairs to get it legal again. Ive got a budget of £25 for food per week so that works out at around £1.20 per meal each at the moment. Ive had Womens Aid and the Refuge (domestic violence charity) go through my finances and there just is enough to break even and feed my two children and two dogs. I dont drink or smoke or go out anywhere other than to walk my dogs or to walk to school. The dogs are only little so they go through a 2kg bag of food every fortnight.I tend to always think of other people and my dogs before me, so they dont go hungry- ever and this is probably the reason why I was thinking about fostering recently, I could have managed another mouth to feed and the knowledge that I was helping another dog would have great and given me a bit of a purpose. The reason I got both dogs was that we lost our elderly cavalier last summer and her insurance paid out on her death She had seen us through a nasty situation that had seen us move 250 miles from everyone we know to be safe, she was my soul mate and I havent dealt with her death at all, she was my rock and my listening ear. I couldnt live without a dog in the house, and it was probably on the rebound from her death to be honest as we got another cavvie the same colour and then because I was working a few hours - a papillon to keep him company. Iheard today that my landlady is wanting to put my house on the market and she wants me out as soon as I can find somewhere else.She can do this as Im only allowed to sign a six month contract at a time with this house.This has come out of the blue, she is adamant that this is what she wants to happen, her and her hubby are retiring and want the capital. Nowhere around here will take me with two children, on benefits and two dogs. Im not going to be able to afford to pay my bills with losing my job, and Im not going to be able to afford to feed the boys and I very well without having two feed two dogs as well. Ive been to the CAB, and the local council and Ive even been to a Refuge today, and theyve confirmed that Im on all the benefits Im entitled to, Im not entitled to a council house as Ive not lived here long enough, my landlady is entitled to do what she is doing and as im not escaping DV this time (although thats why Im up here) I cant go into a Refuge. Im approaching self combustion - I adore my dogs to the bottom of my heart,within very short space of time Ive gone from managing just about to not being able to feed them properly. Ive become so depressed that they are not getting the walks they need.My children are not getting everything they need and Im losing the house we live in.I dont know who to go to for help, what to do, or where to go.I have no family or real friends up here and the only solution I can think of is to rehome both my dogs, then I might find somewhere that would take us. But they are my company when my children go and stay with my ex, if I didnt have them I wouldnt speak to a soul from morning till night when they are away. Its going to take me a long time to find another job, the current one was at my sons primary school. I have no one to babysit if I work outside of school hours or during school holidays. I cant see any other way out. Has anyone got any real solutions they can think of to help - anything at all. Its 1am and Im not going to be able to sleep. And in case anyone is wondering, my holiday ticker is for a week at my mums house

Thankyou Cindy that would be lovely because I feel a bit like this at the moment

Unfortunately Ive been told that the little boy I work with on a part time 1-2-1 at a primary school is moving to a special school after easter, so after the easter holidays I wont have a job. Im a single parent and without a job Im going to be struggling, so I dont think that this is the time for me to be adding another mouth to feed. Im gutted to say the least and this has come out of the blue. Having no family support up here means that Im going to have to find a term time job that will enable me to pick my children up from school, they are like gold dust.

Here are the two doglets that currently own me (well apart from the children that is) They are very good normally and have their own fan club at my sons school. Ollie will be going for PAT dog assessment when he is old enough, Alfie doesnt travel well so he wouldnt enjoy it. Alfie and Ollie Wolly - look at dem ears!

I take paramol which is available off prescription from the chemists - its in a black packet and from the shelves behind their counter with the Benylin etc. Its paracetomol and dihydrocodeine. I suffer from excruciating migraines as I had a stroke seven years ago. It affects down one side of my face, my teeth as well and makes my cheek feel odd and I feel as tho the top of my head is going to fall off on one side. I also clench my teeth at night as well. The other thing that I cannot live without is a hot water bottle. dont make it scalding but lay down and use it as a pillow on the side of your head that you have the headache it really works - try it. But please go to a doctors, there are lots of different reasons for headaches, and its best to get things like blood pressure or things like that checked out too.

Thankyou I thought Id done something wrong.

I dont normally swear but I did when I saw those pics. That is one serious accident - and to think what also could have happened with passengers or dogs in the back. It just doesnt bear thinking about. Dont be surprised if you feel a bit wibbly about driving when you feel better, your GP would be able to help you sort that out so dont be worried about asking.

We had this happen in our reception classroom - quite funny when it happens on a massive interactive whiteboard. The laptop its attached to is on a high shelf, one of the little darlings could just reach the edge keys on tip toe all they could reach was CTRL ALT and the down arrow - hey presto australian whiteboard software!

Im not sure what to do now, Ive been thinking of fostering an oldie for a little while and sent off an email to the Oldies Club over a week ago saying all about what dogs I have and my family situation and I had thought carefully about what sort of dog I could foster with my previous experiences (Ive had dogs ten years including nursing a Cavvie with heartfailure and a JRT with brain damage). I got an email back saying that I would get a phone call back in a couple of days and that I would be suitable as a fosterer. No one has rung me, and I sent another email on Monday saying sorry if I was out when/if you called but no one has replied to that either. Im not sure what to do as there is no phone number to ring and if Im not getting any replies to emails Im not sure what to do? Have I done something wrong or am I not really suitable and Im being let down gently? I only want to help.

All fingers and toes crossed and some paws crossed here too. Have you tried the old sales trick of saying 'I can only afford £xyz and make that figure LESS than what your maximum actually is. That way you have some room for negotiation, and if the final figure goes up a little then it would still be within what you could afford and the landlord would feel as though he had got something too. Just a thought.

Oh goodness what a scary thing to happen bruising can sometimes be just as bad as a fracture though, so its going to take a while I should imagine. I broke my pelvis in two places and the pain was worse than childbirth (honest! and I had a breech baby too) Just one other thing though - has Cher got dogs? (I know some people on here havent), will her OH be able to manage looking after her/travelling to the hospital and walking the dog/s as well? Can any of us offer any help in that direction as there is nothing worse than not being able to move and worrying about the dogs as well?

Mine would have to be people eating with their mouth open, Ive said it to my children so many times that I just have to look at my two eating in a certain way and they close their mouths lol. I also really dislike people coughing without covering their mouths, working in a reception class I feel like I could do with a nurses germ mask with the amount of 4/5 yr olds that just COUGH!

That just made me cry - I miss my Rosiedog so much.

My Rosie had dodgy skin, dodgy digestion, and a dodgy ticker! - and my vet told me to feed her Chappie, the chicken and rice tinned variety, there is also an original flavour too. I also used to give her the dried version sometimes as well, as I didnt really want to totally wet feed her (teeth and the amount of poo). I bought it in Morrisons, but I think Tescos and Sainsburys do it too. I always used to think it was a bit cheap and cheerful, but its got a very good reputation - there is never anything remotely suspect in it, and it certainly helped calm down her skin and digestion.

She looks like a real life Scooby Doo! What a sweet heart.

I was homechecked and one of the things I did was to show on a map where I could take the dog for a walk in the vicinity. The homechecker didnt know the area, and it was dark when they came so they wouldnt have seen much of the local area on their journey to my house. I actually went onto google maps and printed out a local map using the satellite option, so it showed all the local fields and footpaths. I then highlighted all the places where I could take the dog safely. I tried to be myself (as much as you can with a stranger and a clipboard) and tried to think in advance where the dog would sleep, how I would manage introductions to my other dog. Training classes, my daily routine etc, how I would deal with any unwanted behaviour. I also had the details of my vet to hand and had a torch so I could show them my garden as well. I wanted to prove that I had thought about things and had prepared for the homecheck. I also had the kettle on and some biccies on offer!! Hope that helps a bit.

Mine would have to be my skycrate which looks like a large pet carrier rather than an all wire crate. My Alfie uses it as his bed (the door stays open). Its also used as his toy stash place, and his chill out place. When we go in the car it goes in the boot and hes safe and feels secure in it. When I go away and he goes to stay with my wonderful dog sitters, he has a home from home to sleep in and if they need to take him somewhere for any reason I know hes safe. Hes also been known to use it as a climbing frame to enable him to see out of the window! Another vote here for my clicker as well.

What about anything that the dog/cat/furrie does NOT like - ie being brushed around the head, having its paws handled, scared of vets. May portray a bit of a negative picture but if something like that is known, then its much better for the new owner to know. What about what the dog is used to sleeping in, basket, just on a blanket, with cuddly toy - anything to help the first few nights.

We used to have one of the mini ones with the rope - until someone yelled out to me at the park - oi you're dogs left its tampon behind...... ::very large embarresed smily:: never been able to look at it in the same way since.

OMG she is the spitting image of my Poppy - she was a rescue and unfortunately died aged 18 months from a brain bleed due to a head injury she got when someone tried to end her life by kicking her head - the markings are exactly the same arent they Poppy

After searching for our new dog for what seems like ages (I was searching before I posted in the 'Homes Offered' section, we are being homechecked by the RSPCA tomorrow . I wont say too much now about her incase I jinx things - but she is 7 years old (just the age we were looking for). She is in Rescue as her first family, the mum got breastcancer and died, and then she was rehomed to an elderly gentleman (who fed her guiness and custard creams as well as dog food). He died at the beginning of December. She is going to need some TLC, she needs a large very soft bed as not only is she over weight (at the moment) but she has got a sore on her elbow which she is having treatment from the vet for. What sort of washable bed would be best? We will be going on some regular walks where she may get a bit muddy, so it must be washable. I would also like her to be able to stretch out rather than have to sleep curled up. I feel that she needs more than just a large piece of vet bed. Also is there anything I can give her to give her a bit of sparkle back. She will be on Burns, High Oats food to lose the weight, but are there any supplements that she could have that will help protect her joints or just her general wellbeing. The vet has said that she is healthy, but understandably a bit depressed and is a little stiff in her left shoulder due to her weight. She has always lived in this area and her vet records (which the RSPCA now have) go back all her seven years, she hasnt got any other problems other than weight related ones? Any other ideas on how to settle an oldie into our home would be gratefully recieved. We also have Alfie aged 5 1/2 months and I have two very dog savvy sons aged 14 and 7 1/2. Thankyou

Ive just spoken to Liz, unfortunately it looks as if Meg is just too far from me. Still looking..