Rachel Rumpelstiltskin Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 As some of you know i am a 1st year student nurse. I seem to spend most my time laying people out at the moment, and today somebody died in my arms. I have no come to a point where im not coping with this anymore. For the next couple of weeks i will say no to anything to do with death. I know its putting a strain on the already hectic nursing staff but its simply not fair that i seem to get this job (because i have the time) A glass of wine in the evenings is my awful habit and i need to stop becoming reliant on it. I have some wonderful friends who are just fantastic, who i know i can always call upon but i am a very closed person sometimes. I was just wondering for people that deal with this, how do you cope? what is your escape? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufus the wonderdog Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 As some of you know i am a 1st year student nurse. I seem to spend most my time laying people out at the moment, and today somebody died in my arms. I have no come to a point where im not coping with this anymore. For the next couple of weeks i will say no to anything to do with death. I know its putting a strain on the already hectic nursing staff but its simply not fair that i seem to get this job (because i have the time) A glass of wine in the evenings is my awful habit and i need to stop becoming reliant on it. I have some wonderful friends who are just fantastic, who i know i can always call upon but i am a very closed person sometimes. I was just wondering for people that deal with this, how do you cope? what is your escape? First of all have a huge Please, please remember that you are still in your first year of training and are learning lots of new skills and knowledge, it is a difficult time generally. Dealing with death is never easy, particularly if you have not had much exposure to it previously and certainly not at these close quarters. Laying out is a difficult task emotionally and physically for most nursing staff and we all need to offload at times. Nurses qualified for years can still find it a daunting thing to do. You don't have to feel bad about yourself because you're finding it hard right now. I guess you are working with someone else whilst doing this ? Is this your mentor or usually alongside an HCA? You need to feel supported and you should try to talk to your mentor about how it is making you feel, if you can; if not, is there another member of ward staff you get on well with or do you have a uni link person you could talk to ? Talking it through has far better outcomes for you and your future nursing career than trying to drown it out with alcohol. I'm not having a go at you, I just don't want you to think that there is no other way of dealing with this and I certainly wouldn't want you thinking that you are in some way to blame for feeling like this. Lastly, just because you're a student on a ward does not mean that you are a free pair of hands for them to use as they fancy. Student nurses have supernumerary status so even if you do say I don't want to do this at the moment, don't beat yourself up about putting extra work on the ward nursing staff. When there are no students on placement on a ward, the nursing staff cope with these tasks by themselves. Please feel free to Pm if you want to chat further, it's not nice to feel down about the job you like doing. It is not acceptable that you are having to do so much of this, especially during your first year. You are there to learn, not to do all the crud jobs others don't fancy doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 Fab reply, can't really add much to that. I also think it is unfair that you are doing so much of this. When I was a 1st year student nurse, (many, many moons ago) I can only remember doing this a few times. Working with death is never easy and it is important that you have strategies to cope., Talking to someone is a great start. I never finished my nurse training, and one of the reasons was lack of support from the School of Nursing. I know things are different now. Can you talk to your tutor? I worked as a Marie Curie HCA for 4 years, and although I got a lot out of the job, it could be emotionally draining. I hope things improve for you. Don't give up. I wish I hadn't, it is my 1 regret in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Rumpelstiltskin Posted January 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 Thank you for hugs- they are greatly needed!!! Sounds horrible but im getting used to laying people out. I would rather it was with someone they have known than an agnecy nurse or something. I think today was just the end of it. PT died without pain and quickly, which lets face it is the best way. But i feel she should died in the arms of her family and not with some student nurse. All the nursing staff were very stressed today in caring for this lady, especially as there were some major ethical issues, which involved getting other nursing teams in, so that what was best for the patient was achieved. I have some wonderful friends that ive spoken to and my miracle mum who has had me on the phone crying 'i dont want to be a nurse anymore, i cant do this' far too many times But at the end of the day i watched something horrific today and i think i will be haunted for a long time. I am going to try and get hold of my tutor on monday, she is a pallative care cancer specialist, and a berevment councillor in her spare time. My mentor is approachable so i will ask her tomorrow if i could take a step back from the physical care of the very very poorly patient. She is lovely so that shouldnt be a problem. Thank you for hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissa Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm not a nurse but eternally grateful for the nurses that are able to show such care & compassion to others - I'm sure you will make a great nurse, - hope your feeling better it can't have been an easy day for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanrossscot Posted January 16, 2009 Report Share Posted January 16, 2009 It can be stressful working in hospitals. I used to be a Cardiac Technician, so naturally a lot of patients I came in contact with were v poorly. I think you learn to care but step back, I obviously didn't have such close contact though which helped. I hope you manage to get through this period My worst moment was attending an arrest call, to find it was a 16yo boy who didn't make it , yet again there were humorous moments like the patient complaining of sore ribs - she had arrested the night before and had been shocked - the doc told her "you were connected to the national grid last night, that's why you are sore" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 for you. I dont have any medical experience, but I wanted to say that you should be "looked after" as you are a student and death is very upsetting. I hope your tutor and mentor can sort things out for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kats inc Posted January 17, 2009 Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 I think it is a tough job emotionally but see it as a last duty you can do for someone and that makes it more easy to do. You need clinical supervision and should have a mentor to talk this kind of thing through with.It does get easier and you will find your own coping mechanism.I think mine was the respect thing and the last duty I could do...difficult to put it into words and explain,I hope you get what I mean. You will develop that teflon like tough outer skin which isn't meant to make you into an old cow who doesn't care but into someone who can let some of the more difficult things slide away from you with more ease than you can now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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