Kathyw Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I have been washing Mum's pant since around Christmas time and a few months ago after two skirts (one brand new) went missing I had enough and told them they are only to wash Mum's bed linen I will do the rest. Every other day at first I collected the dirty washing and returned the clean stuff. Each time there were things belonging to other people and I took them back, nice and clean. I put up notices in Mum's room to remind them not to touch her clothes yet it still went on. Two weeks ago as I was folding the clean stuff I found a pair of pants that wouldn't squeeze Nelly the Elephant and a matching vest. Now Mum's pants are put in a bin with a lid on it, so someone had come into Mum's room. lifted the lid and put the underwear in there. As I had a lock fitted on Mum's room only a carer could have done that. I was fuming. At first they tried to say that maybe they were in Mum's drawer and she had worn them - Mum and me fell about laughi ng. Mum said 'They would have fallen down - they are so big - Mum is about a size 10 now. Yesterday I picked up her laundry and pants and this morning as we were passing I took in the tv magazine and picked up the laundery from yesterday as well. I just got the nighties out of the tumble to find two that are not Mum's. They are clearly marked with someone elses name on them. So a carer is taking someone else's laundry into Mum's room and putting it in her linen basket. I have sent an email to the manager saying that I will give them four more weeks to drum into the stupid staff that they only put in Mum's basket what she takes off and if anyone else's clothes are in the backet or pants in the bin - they willl not get them back, I will put them in the rubbish. ffs we are going backwards and forwards to pick up and drop off laundry that they are paid to do - am I supposed to wash strangers laundry as well? Rant over........................ On a lighter note. Mum was talking to one of the carers when I got there, they were talking about Terry. Mum said everyone loves looking at his photos and they all say how handsome he was. I said well he was a good looking boy Mum. Then I said N o-one every says how pretty your daughter is do they Mum? Mum said 'Well you have had a lot to deal with since Dad died, running around looking after me, then Ray being ill - you lost what little you did have'. I nearly peed myself, the carers were in stitches. I mean if your own Mum thinks you could haunt a house - what hope is there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I must not laugh, I must not laugh. You have my utmost sympathy with the laundry issues, I must...................................Sorry, but :biglaugh: No idea what you really look like but I think as they get older parents lose any tact & revert to a "child like" state too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufus the wonderdog Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Some care homes really take the p*ss If it was me and I'd done other people's washing for the care home, I'd return it and then when the next bill came in for payment, I would pay it less a deduction for laundry duties performed And as for parents getting older and losing their tact ........................... Tell me about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 And as for parents getting older and losing their tact ........................... Tell me about it My Mum never did have any tact. Her usual comment when I'd got dressed up to go out and was thinking that I looked pretty good was, "What do you think you look like?" And I wonder why I have no self esteem!! What's that line from Larkin's poem? "They f*** you up your Mum and Dad..." Sorry to hear you're having problems with the home. It must be wearing you down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 The standard has dropped dramatically in the last years or so. A few of the old carers (three were pregnant) have left and the ones they replaced them with are worse than useless. I just found another pair of pants that are not Mum's. A carer used the key, went into the room, opened the pants bin and put them in there. No way couold it have been a mistake. Mum's clothes should only leave her room when she is wearing them or when I take them home to wash them. I had to threaten to remove Mum to my home just before Christmas before they would fit the promised lock on the her door. They say something will be done and seem shocked when I follow it through. She is my Mum and I will do as any daughter/son would do to keep her happy and safe and they just don't get that. I don't mind the washing, I have a machine and tumble - but I do object to doing other people laundry. I am considering moving out of London and will be looking for homes in same areas - hopefully they will be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 I am considering moving out of London and will be looking for homes in same areas - hopefully they will be better. I'm in N Herts. The local homes have just all been inspected and given star ratings. Let me know if you're coming this way and I'll save the ratings list for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Thank you that is so kind. However my babies want to live near the sea as far cfrom London as is possibel and I am going along with them. either Norfolk or Cornwall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Kathy. The care home saga is never ending isn't it! You have a right to be angry and even more of a right to look after your mum, they should get their act together and get things sorted out. I envy you if you move to Cornwall,altho I like where i live and its a nice place i have always wanted to be near the sea in Cornwall. I used to rent a cottage from a friend in Mousehole and I just loved it there. I can dream tho! to you and your mum mate x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Hope it works out for you. I'd love to live near the sea too. http://www.csci.org.uk/ this is the site for checking on the scores of care homes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bernie Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Kathy, if I were you and it happens again I'd just put the other peoples dirty washing in a black bin bag and return it as it was. There is no reason why anyone elses dirty linen should be placed in your mum's bin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted May 17, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 Hope it works out for you. I'd love to live near the sea too. http://www.csci.org.uk/ this is the site for checking on the scores of care homes. i have that site on my favs list Kathy, if I were you and it happens again I'd just put the other peoples dirty washing in a black bin bag and return it as it was. There is no reason why anyone elses dirty linen should be placed in your mum's bin. I don't sort it other than colours etc until I am folding it when it is washed and dried. The mamager thinks someone is doing it deliberately. I think the next step might be a camera in Mum's room as I think the manager is even more annoyed than I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura g Posted May 17, 2008 Report Share Posted May 17, 2008 certainly dont wash it. dont even take it back. just bin it. although i miss my nan dreadfully i'm so glad i no longer have to deal with care homes. the worse memory of which was the night they rang me to tell me she'd got out of bed and walked out of the door at midnight in her nightie - police were out looking for her, cut a long story short, they had put her to bed in the wrong room. it was another lady who'd 'escaped' on a lighter note, the lact of tact is priceless. nan buying me the longest skirt in the world for christmas and patting me on the hand and confiding 'i know it looks long darling but i thought you'd take it up widthways'. !!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted May 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2008 Oh I did think about doing that but then the person who's underwear I chuck away loses out not the carer. I am getting the money for two of the new skirts I bought Mum because they 'lost' them but other residents may not even miss their stuff and if they do, they may not be willing to say anything. I have had an idea while typing this. I think I will keep all the stuff that is not Mum's and after I have quite a lot of it, I will ask for a meeting with the Head os social services for Camden and show that person what I have. Your poor Nan. That is disgraceful to give you all that worry and also to be so lax that an elderly resident can actually leave the premises at night. At Mum's place the outer doors are locked so at least that's one worry I don't have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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