debs1967 Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Our next door neighbours moved in about a year ago. They are a lovely couple, both work full time, have renovated their house which is immaculate, enjoy going out socialising, having long lie-ins at the weekend, going on holiday and visiting friends. Nothing wrong with that except that they have just bought a 10 week old lab puppy. Problem is, neither of them have owned dogs before and have no idea of how much attention he's going to need. Looks like poor puppy is going to be home alone quite a lot. If I'd known they were thinking of getting a dog I'd have tried to talk them out of it, given that they're both out of the house most days. I didn't know until last night when my OH popped round to see them and came back and told me. Apparently puppy's going to be in his crate in the kitchen while they are at work as he's 'used' to it. I doubt at 10 weeks that poor puppy is used to anything bless him. I've lent them a couple of books (John Fisher and Jan Fennell) hoping they might pick up some understanding of the puppy's emotional needs but last night we could hear him crying his heart out. Finally stopped about 2.30am today. This morning when I saw the neighbours I told them I'd be happy to pop round in an afternoon (I work part time) to let puppy out or even have him round here for a few hours with my two dogs. They said thanks but he'll be fine cos he'll be in the kitchen!!?? I think they thought I was concerned about the mess he might make in their house rather than concern for the puppy himself. Is it any of my business? I'm just worried for the future of this little dog. Any ideas how I can help without looking too interfering or do I just try to ignore the situation? So frustrating! Deb x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyM Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 All you can do really is be there, which you're already doing (unless of course there is serious neglect at which point you can report them). I would take back the Jan Fennel book though - that's the last thing new dog owners need to be looking to for advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyMalc Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Totally agree with Kathy on the Jan Fennel book - please tell them you urgently need it and then 'lose' it! Maybe tell the owners that at this age their puppy will need lots of socialisation, be introduced to everything and everyone, or else he(?) will grow up to be a nervous, fear-aggressive dog and they will never be able to get that out of him again (maybe exagerrated, but why create a miserable, scared dog if you can have a happy, confident one?). If they would allow you to have him as often as you want to then at least he'll have a more solid foundation. Sounds like they've not given it any thought at all, poor pup Has their busy schedule allowed for having him vacced yet? Might be something they've not thought of? My neighbour has got 2 Staffs. They barely walk them, instead letting them do their business in the yard, which you can smell a mile away if the wind is in the wrong direction. He's had the male first, and he was walked. He then got a girlfriend and a female staff, and the female has never been socialised with anyone but the male - and guess what: they got a litter together too, when the muppets thought that you could have an uncastrated male and a female in season in the same house with just the kitchen door shut (female has now been spayed, thank doG!). Anyway, this female, whenever she's outside and hears/smells my dogs she makes a racket and is trying to tackle the fence. From the reaction of my dogs I gather it's not a friendly invitation to play and I shudder to think what would happen if she actually makes it over the fence one day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 How sad for the puppy - doesn't sound as though they are at all aware of the socialisation a pup needs at that age, the limited exercise (five minutes of lead walking per month of the dog's life I understand), let alone the regular toilet breaks, feeds, playtime, companionship etc. Makes you wonder where on earth they have got the dog from, doesn't it. I'm not a Jan Fennell fan either I must admit. There's a book called The Perfect Puppy by Gwen Bailey - which generally has a good reputation, perhaps if they would read that they might realise they are not giving the poor thing what it needs in their current situation and make adjustments accordingly? Like at least taking you up on your very kind offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrier Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 I must admit I found Jan Fennel's book to be very useful when I was starting out. I found her book easy to understand and gave me a good idea of what to do when I was just learning the basics. As for what the OP should do - as others have said, just be there for them. Make it clear that you are available should they need help. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby1Nic Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Oh 'eck - I've a feeling my reply may be at odds with many of the replies you will get to this post I don't know you or your neighbours so can't comment on whether you need to be properly concerned or not. However, the description of the couple and their home / lifestyle, could be that of my OH and me Well, that was until 4 yrs ago when we brought home a 12 week old Lab puppy Do you know whether they are making (or have made) any arrangements for their pup whilst they are at work - dog walker / family etc to pop in on the pup. How do we know that they haven't read up / bought their own puppy / dog training books ? When we had our Ruby, we each took a week off work to settle her. We had OH's uncle to come down to her about 1-2 hrs after we had left for work. I'd then come home lunchtime, and then my MIL would come down mid afternoon, before either me or OH finished work and came home. In effect she had a visitor to toilet her / play etc every 2 hrs. She was left in the kitchen and utility area and admittedly she did eat our kitchen floor, however, the only time she toileted in the house was a wee which was a result of us not paying proper attention. I read and read up on house training (taking her out every hr or so, after food, waking from sleep, playing etc) . She slept through the night in her crate from night 1 because I slept in the kitchen with her initially, then I moved out into the hallway. Did this for about 2 weeks and she was completely settled then on her own. She's grown into a fully well adjusted dog. "We are family" as the song goes. Yes, we still go out, yes we still go on holiday. The difference is - Ruby come swith us We now go to doggy pubs for our meals out - Ruby lies under the table. Holidays abroad have been replaced with holidays in the UK - and we love it, as does Ruby. I don't mean to come across in a bad light it's just that it does dishearten me to read that we can jump to conclusions about people we don't even know, just because they have to be full time workers with a young puppy As I said at the start of my rather long post (Is anyone still awake after reading it ? ), I don't know the couple and you do - so maybe you do have grounds for your concerns. Tell you what though - I would have been grateful to a neighbour like you offering help and I probably would take you up on your kind offer, so maybe they might reconsider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neoclassic Perk Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 However, the description of the couple and their home / lifestyle, could be that of my OH and me Well, that was until 4 yrs ago when we brought home a 12 week old Lab puppy I was thinking the same thing when I read the OP - we made arrangements and did our research We got a dog because we wanted a motivation to change or lifestyle - I wanted to go walking but couldn't motivate myself alone, I needed a dog to keep my company What I didn't expect was to lose over a stone in the first 6 weeks of having a puppy, just through the additional exercise I was getting getting up and down off the sofa and playing in the garden in the evenings instead of sitting on my butt all the time I hope that this pup has a great life ahead of him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendbert Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Another member, Jules, had similar concerns when her neighbours bought a new pup - some of the info from those threads might be useful http://www.rykat.org/forums/index.php?show...c=25095&hl= http://www.rykat.org/forums/index.php?show...c=26720&hl= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debs1967 Posted January 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Thanks for replies, the two books I lent were the only ones I had to hand with any kind of explaination of how a puppy may feel in its new home. I just thought that at least they might give them a bit of an insight to something they knew very little about. Anyway, (thanks ReikiAnge) I have just ordered The Perfect Puppy book off Ebay. It should arrive next few days. I'll take it round and tell them my sister has lent it. Maybe in a few days, they'll be seeing the reality of having a puppy and might take me up on my offer of help. I'm positive that they so far haven't made arrangements for family to help, in fact the parents of the girl are 'anti-dog' which is why she's not been able to have a dog previously. I know they will try their best to look after him but I don't think they realise what a commitment they've taken on. Hope they prove me completely wrong! Didnt mean to offend the people who have similar lifestyles to my neighbours! It isn't their lifestyle that worries me, just that they so far seem to think that the puppy will slot straight into their lives with no disruption to them. They were asking my OH earlier where there are boarding kennels for when they go on holiday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neoclassic Perk Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 They were asking my OH earlier where there are boarding kennels for when they go on holiday What's wrong with kennels? I use them regularly; I have no alternative emergency care arrangements and therefore I ensure that my dogs are familiar with the environment by using them for the odd weekend and longer holidays too (my pups first overnight stay was as 8 months old). It seems very responsible to be asking about kennels in advance of needing them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 It seems very responsible to be asking about kennels in advance of needing them Yes, I agree it does. At least they are showing thought for the future and planning ahead and asking advice from an experienced owner - so maybe they'll be open to advice about other things too I would rather not use kennels for mine if possible but that doesn't mean there aren't excellent kennels out there. I had assumed from reading the original post that the puppy was going to be left in the crate all day without anyone going in to see the dog - if that's not the case great. I certainly think some people could make the situation work by having some going in frequently during the day, but I didn't get the impression that was the case here - but no offence intended to those who do work hard to ensure their dogs are well taken care of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debs1967 Posted January 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 What's wrong with kennels? I use them regularly; I have no alternative emergency care arrangements and therefore I ensure that my dogs are familiar with the environment by using them for the odd weekend and longer holidays too (my pups first overnight stay was as 8 months old). It seems very responsible to be asking about kennels in advance of needing them Yes, there's nothing wrong with kennels, but it seems that not only will the pup be left when they are working but also during their holidays off work. I've used kennels in the past but our dogs come on holiday with us now. What a shame to be thinking of packing him off so soon rather than enjoying spending time with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neoclassic Perk Posted January 6, 2008 Report Share Posted January 6, 2008 Yes, there's nothing wrong with kennels, but it seems that not only will the pup be left when they are working but also during their holidays off work. I've used kennels in the past but our dogs come on holiday with us now. What a shame to be thinking of packing him off so soon rather than enjoying spending time with him. It strikes me that they are damned if they do, and damned if they don't Good on them for asking - at least if they have to go away without their pup at short notice (such as the family funeral that took us away from home when our pup was young), then they will have visited and checked out kennels so will know the score Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terrier Posted January 10, 2008 Report Share Posted January 10, 2008 It's great that you're concerned, but I must admit - I feel encouraged by the fact the owner is asking questions. They're trying to find out as much as they can, preparing for eventualities before they crop up. They sound like pretty responsible people to me. Of course they'll make mistakes. Particularly if they've not grown up with dogs in the home. I grew up with dogs when I lived with my mother, and even I had a steep learning curve when I got my first dog after moving into my own home. They're asking questions, which shows they care. That counts for a lot in my book. Well done you for being there for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted January 11, 2008 Report Share Posted January 11, 2008 everyone on here who has a dog will have had a time when they had never owned one before- we have all had a first dog! my first dog was a 9wk old stray pup found wandering the streets when i was 17- i went and registered it at the police station and took it home- no equipment, nothing. baught food from the local spar and used cereal bowls for food and water. got equipment the next day and went to vets after 7 days to get vacs done and a health check. does that make me a bad owner? NO it doesnt, it means a pup got a home- that same pup died at the age of 17years old, she had a very happy life and was well trained and socialised- and i have never owned a training book. If a problem develops with the pup (and i really hope it doesn't) then offer to help, but please dont just assume they are doing wrong, they may be using the internet for advice. I personally would be more worried about the amount of intimate/private details you know about your neighbours! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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