greyhound pal

That was my take on it when I got married. I'd feel a hypocrite if I married in a church when I've never followed any kind or form of faith. It would have just been one big lie and I didn't want to start my marriage like that. Was doomed anyway, however... I got quite a bit of hassle for this choice. We'd hired the amazing Dalhousie castle which comes with its own chapel. Also because of my ex-husbands army status we were also entitled to marry in Edinburgh Castle. This was before the days where a registrar could leave his office so we did the deed at the registry office and held the meal and reception at Dalhousie Castle. I don't regret not doing the chapel thing but I do regret marrying the git Which leads me on to off-topic... my ex and his new partner have entered a lovely 'win your dream wedding' contest and its online . I'm hoping they don't win - is that morally wrong?

Sorry am rofl. Had forgotten about that! I really don't hold grudges at all against anyone for a disagreement (well against some people maybe) mostly because I argue with everyone!! I am not looking to jump on you - if I agree I will say I do and if not, I'll say what I think but its never personal. Interesting what you've said about your ban and brave of you to say that you believe it was the right decision even after you felt he put you through hell afterwards. Lack of logic to it?

Exactly. But there is also the need to mention those people in life who love to get out the wooden spoon and it appears to happen in dog world worse than elsewhere! Everytime I post something like the above I have an urge to always state "I'm not thinking of anyone here" The example I'm thinking about is Scottish and non-dp/refuge user! What I'm thinking now is that perhaps if DP was more open and allowed things to be brought out in the open as has happened here there would be less opportunity for speculation, gossip and plain old sh*tstirring. Most of the examples given by Katiebob, I am completely oblivious of (I think).

Not as such I just remember something being said but I really forget so much these days - am so wrapped up in my own wee world which is why it took me so long to 'click'

Thanks for the response. The above was more about how I felt as a response to those who said they didn't like DP. Its a matter of personal choice I suppose... Thanks. I don't want Mel to think I was singling her out - she's just the one who came to the top of my head. But that was actually more about who to believe. What I was trying to say is that if what Mel posted yesterday along with Claire - if I had heard that from DP and not known them to know better ( ) woudl it be justified if I believed what was said from what I'd heard? I can understand where you are coming from. Am cropping out resopnses to ask more about specific issues otherwise this woudl be huge post.... Anyway - I thought that was still the policy? The big no-no of DP was publicly slating any rescue including the RSPCA? I can only recall only one exception of that and I can't recall why but I'm sure the reason was given in the thread. (Which shows how much I take in because I'm too cynical to believe everything I read) People just disappear and no reason is given. When that happens I assume people's lives have become busier and they dont' have time to post or with rescues, that they have moved to another board where they can gain more help from it. I can't keep uo with whats what. I didn't realise full time workers having dogs was an issue? I haven't said I don't believe you. Whether or not I believe you is irrelevant in the scheme of things given that we're unlikely ever to cross paths. I'm really not questioning individual experiences and that was something that was concerning me.

Thanks - phoebejo had already explained... Members lying? I'm confused!

Came back because I've been mulling this over all day (which is what I swore I would never do again). A couple of potentially inflammatory questions which I can't get past... So I'll ask and then duck. 1. Whats being said on this thread I have no experience of and I think I've been on DP for about 6 years. I have 'heard' about it but don't always believe what I hear. Because if I did believe what I heard (I have really been thinking about various things over the years), there would be very few people I speak to. Its a bitchy world out there... I think I'm trying to ask without being offensive is that there have been two sides to a story - hope you don't mind Mel but i'm using you as an example. If I had heard all about Mel and why she left DP at the time from 'the other side' and I believed it, wouldn't that be the same as taking as read everything on this thread? I mean if that was wrong of me to take what was said about her and believe it outright without asking questions. I'm nto taking away anyones hurt or upset, its just putting it into words without appearing insensitive or nasty - god I worry too much... 2. Sometimes I'm reading that there has been reason to ban some people / rescues from DP and sometimes it gives the impression that no reasons are good enough. Is there ever a reason to ban an individual /rescue or shoudl everyone and anyone be able to post anywhere? Also leads me to how else should a forum be run other than by using teh personal beliefs of the person behind it? I mean say someone who was involved in dogfighting come on here, woudl they be banned? 3. It came to me last night I am aware of one rescue who isn't allowed to post here. Asking for clarity - thats all, but why? 4. Some people have said they dont' like the atmosphere on DP. I can go on DP and post anything anywhere without any concern. When I come here I (me - personally - not digging at anyone and not directing at anyone - just saying how I feel) have always felt that there is an 'element' of hostility. I always pause before I post. I think thats evident in the way my stomach is churning right at this moment. Do you think that perhaps its what you know and where you feel comfortable is a better way to describe each board? 5. If the owner of DP is everything that is said (and I'm being one of those hated fence sitters), should the mods really take responsibility for carrying out his rules and his wishes on how his forum should be run? And don't you think a thread like this would confirm his sense of 'righteousness'? I'm thinking I always get dead flattered wherever i see a thread about the campaign even if its negative - still cant' quite believe that i have the ability to pizz so many people off! Can I also ask was anyone guilty of what they were banned for? Does anyone believe the decision to ban them was correct (I alm already aware many of you do think you've been unjustly treated so just anyone who feels they have been) Apologies in advance for any offense

On wrong pc for pics but THIS is right behind the house and is the daily walk. And this is Gullane beach which is a ten minute drive where we were this afternoon.

I agree with much of what you say. I miss the greyhound threads in a weird way. I mean you could get so much information out in one thread and that opportunity isn't there any more. But the majority of our support has never come through forums therefore I rarely ever post anything about what we're up to any more I hate marmite and Jaffa Cakes You talk a lot of sense! I'm sorry if I offended you Kathy. However I would suggest that you consider comments like *slaps head* can also be seen as very offensive

Sorry you changed your mind about posting while I was answering. I'm not saying don't speak out. For the millionth time, I only posted because I saw one individual being singled out. Hypocrisy or not, I don't think it was fair to single out one person. Say what you like about your own experiences if thats what makes YOU feel better. But as you have that right, I too have a right to say I find this extremely uncomfortable. More so the use of the word 'victim'. I so want to go on a rant about getting it into perspective and move on - its one tiny tiny little bit of the internet. Jeez I could be here all day talking about people, forums and sites where I believe I've been wrong done to - could even site the refuge as an example for gods sake. I can post a link to a forum where someone states that they are going to break my legs and accusing me of a criminal offence relating to damage to a greyhound track. I chose not to look to see whats being said about me. Easier simple that way. But this is what I meant abotu a thread not being healthy - its dragging things up and winding people up over events that are in the past. I do apologise to anyone who I've offended - thats not the intention.

Why Kathy? Surely even you can see there have been several things posted here that aren't relevant to RDR's situation? I find it interesting one small sentence in a very long post has taken your attention... Yes it may have started out as that but not now. I'm trying not to think the above comments about slanderous remarks about OC is directed at me but thats my paranoid head on and I'll take it off now!

Too fast for me! Margaret - I've dropped your quote for some reason and my memory isn't too good so I can't recall exactly what you said but I've already said I've every empathy with RDR. I've every empathy with any rescue who loses a resource they use. I haven't been banned. I should maybe put a 'yet' at the end of that... Laura - do you think that anyone on DP who doesn't agree with what has gone on should leave? Because where would it end? I'm trying to post something but I'm worried about seriously offending someone

I think I'm trying to say in a very round about way without being offensive or patronising is that I think everyone should rise above it. I think RDR have vented their feelings and had a lot of support but put it to bed and leave it at that. A DP bashing thread creates bitterness and ill-feeling. Thats not to say people don't have reason to be bitter and upset, but where is this going to lead? A whole load of unanswered questions and doubt in a lot of peoples minds which will never be resolved to anyones satisfaction. There wouldn't be a thread like this on DP but if there was I can hand on heart say I would probably avoid it. UNless it got personal in which case I would say much the same as I have said here. If I was banned from there or here for what I felt or thought then so be it. At the end of the day no matter who thought whatever about me wouldn't matter in the scheme of things. I am and do question how much one forum helping animals can have an effect in the long term unless the rescue has put all their eggs in one basket. I also think for yoru random user looking for a rescue dog, they would search several forums and the politics of boards wouldn't come into it.

I'd pay you whatever you asked me to if it helped finding one of my hounds if they were missing So its pretty obvious you aren't charging for your services although I think it would be justifiable if you were. That sounds like GA Scotland. We can't set up as a ltd company because we don't actually earn anything and being the owner of a limited company myself, we couldn't afford the fee's given that we dont' actually bring in any money at all. We can't be a charity because we come under the classification of 'political/campaign group' which isn't allowed

Can't keep up with the speed this thread is going... Yeah you would leave and you wouldn't go back. I haven't seen any rescues being slagged off. I've heard a rescue relate their experience and how they felt, which I'm empathic about. I don't think accusations and counter accusations are okay at all. No matter who they are about. I don't think anyone has said thats okay.

Don't put words in my mouth Margaret. I never said any such thing.

I'm on that as a volunteer. I assumed that if one of my hounds went missing, I'd contact dogslost and they would put up adverts etc and I would give a lovely donation for all their help. I'm right in thinking there is no 'fee' as such? Which leads me to (scuse me if I'm being a bit slow) the question of how is it defined as 'commercial'?

I used Mill Rescue website link and it came up refer to moderator. Am I right in thinking Dogslost is the website that details all teh lost and found dogs? The one where appeals come out. Just asking - but is it commercial? I get your point. And for the record I was directly involved in the politics then and at the receiving end of some real nasty stuff being said which was so untrue and yes I got hurt. But I dealt with it differently. I went off and licked my wounds and returned a lot later with a totally different approach. But I learned an important lesson and that is there are a lot of people on forums who like to manipulate and stir things for their own ends. Maybe its a boredom issue and they really don't realise how hurtful and nasty their actions and words can be while they are hiding behind a pc monitor. And its always easier to mouth off to someone who you picture as an avatar and not a real human being with feelings. I want to say again. I have no issue with RDR posting and feeling bad about things - its their experience and I can imagine how hurtful it would be. No issues with that and if this helps to make these feelings better, then thats a personal choice which has to be respected. But I DO have an issue with things being said about individual mods which is the only point I'm questioning because I dont' want to get involved in the rest of it as I know how damaging it can be.

Just tried it and it says 'please-refer-to-moderator'. Is that what you mean?

I'm not being deliberately thick here (I REALLY am this thick ) but what comes up? I've never really noticed except when you put a link to a racing site and it says something about 'refer to moderator'. I confess I haven't done that for years because I no longer even get involved with racing arguments

Because if something was said about you on a forum that you couldn't post on but I could, I woudl defend you too Margaret. And I woudl like to think vice versa.

I actually wasn't around when it happened which is probably why I'm a bit confused by a lot of whats been said. I had a self-imposed ban going on from all forums for about six months when it all went on. Funnily enough one of the reasons I decide to take time out was that I found the politics too much Anything that causes you stress that you can remove from your life, you remove it. Or thats the way I see it. When I mentioned about some rescues/individuals being banned I was referring generally to some people coming on to deliberately cause trouble and/or so-called rescues where it would be debatable to refer to them as a rescue. It happens. Yes but if Ray was to answer, he give a different story. I'm not doubting what happend to RDR and if there is anything I can do, please let me know. I have no issue with a rescue posting what has happened to a rescue but I do have issues with individuals being singled out. I DO wish forums would work differently for me as I could get a lot more done if they did, however they don't and I have no alternative but to accept that and use them for what I need them for. I'm sorry if I have offended you but I'm saying it how I have to see it because forums negative sides can crack you up

This thread has moved on since last night when I posted from work. I don't know what when wrong but some posts were blocked by security and it wouldn't let me post my reply at all. So I emailed myself my response to C&P today. However most of it is irrelevant now because its moved on so much so I'll post what I'm thinking now. THIS is why I really dont' care who says what about who. I'm sure i'm not alone in knowing that there is always two sides to a story and many shades of grey. People feel aggrieved and possibly have every right to feel aggrieved. But I don't think threads like this achieve anything. I don't know whats happened but whatever way I can imagine how hurt Coryn from RDR feels right now but its not the end of the world. RDR will survive. I've heard things about DP and I've heard things about the Refuge. There are things I dislike about DP and things I dislike about the refuge (this being rather good example!) I don't want to be involved in any shape or form and normally avoid things like this like the plague. I only stepped into this thread because I didn't like what I read about a specific mod. I don't like it when it becomes accusations and innuendo's about whatever and whoever. I see forums like someone's house. You go in and if you do anything outrageous like insult their partner or throw up in their houseplants they ask you to leave. So you go by their rules while in 'their' territory. Its up to individuals who they have in their home. I might not agree with it but thats how I see it. One of my mates makes you take off your shoes outside her front door so you have to walk over cold concrete with no shoes on but its her hoose and its up to her. I think there is far too much importance placed on forums. I also think its more about personal relationships which are built there and I think it was Mel P who hit the nail on the head by saying how devastated she was when she was'no longer welcome' there. In a lot of ways its more about socialising that anything else. Yes these things are good for organising things and fundraising but theres lots of forums out there and why get hung up over one who's policies and procedures are a bit squiffy? Lifes too short... I don't think DP is the be-all-and-end-all. It has its uses and I don't for one second believe its that powerful to tarnish a rescue to any relevant degree. I DO believe it has the power to hurt people and that part I dont' like ( i really don't like seeing anyone get hurt - even those I dislike immensely) so have chosen to stay out of the politics and use whatever forum for whatever purposes. Since very little of our support comes from internet forums, I tend to not even post about anything other than personal stuff these days. When it comes to a thread this length though, i despair. The questions being asked aren't going to be answered and I am totally confused to the different posts on here. There aren't going to be answers and I'm totaly risking being jumped on here by saying I do think there are those here who wouldn't accept any answer as being acceptable. Its sad because the energy gone into this thread could and should be channelled elsewhere Mel - why on earth would you think I was referring to you? I don't know what the background is behind anything to do with you - I knew there was a fall out and heard something which I really can't recall but the details aren't that important to me because I'd never get the whole story no matter who I asked or why. If I believed everything I heard I'd believe some bizarre and surreal things about myself! Was that really said? I certainly never heard that. And just to clarify - if I did, I woould have taken it with a pack of salt. In my defense as a DP member, its not that I've fallen for anything. It works for what I use it for therefore I don't care less. I've enough to worry me in my own life without worrying about things I'd never get to the bottom of. Am going to toddle off now

I've just taken a huge gamble and moved into a newish area after years of working with street homeless. I'm working nights dealing with anti-social behaviour callouts. In other words, if you call the police with an ASB complaint at night in one LA area, you'd get me out to deal with it instead of the police. I have all sorts of 'special powers' ( ) from being able to seize stereos/tvs/noise making equipment to fining people £100 on the spot I'm paid to be a party-pooper and I love it!

But - and this is my main point, what goes on behind the scenes at DP isn't made public. You'd never see such a thread like this on DP. In fact I only *know* whats gone on because someone has made me aware. But to be honest (selfish I know) I don't want to be part of it and I would have ignored this thread totally if a specific mod hadn't been mentioned. I really don't think its fair - isn't this thread slating a forum/individual where beliefs/experiences/viewpoints are different? Which is where this thread after the first few posts has headed. People had a different experience from others on here so I don't think slating ayone for posting that she was raising money for a good cause is fair? Even generalising would be better than targetting individuals I just think beliefs/viewpoints/egos are different and, although i understand rescues need to vent, I don't think that turning a thread into somewhere that people can take a pop at individuals because of what they do/don't support is the answer. I want to make it clear - I don't know what has happened and dont' want to jump on anyones side. But I am aware there are rescues and individuals who have been removed from DP where I don't see what the alternative actioncould have been.