snow

LOL is there any room left in your garden Alex? Actually can you suggest a nice tall and fully bush that would be happy in damp soil? The winds have ripped out one of mine and its now deader than a dead thing after frost got into it, theres no way it's going to come back sadly, and thats left a hole in my "hedge" which means the view from my chair now is straight into nextdoors garden and the rotting caravan they dumped there about 6 years ago. I want an instant "filler" that isn't a conifer.

The consultant ruled out an epidural as apparently I need to be tilted backwards for the op and I'll be head down I did ask if it was option and she said no.

I'm back ...

Thanks Alex x Must admit I'm in a bit of a state this morning - because I'm seeing the consultant I didn't take any pain killers last night nor have I taken any this morning, unfortunately whatever is happening left side decided to take advantage and I am in a lot of pain absolutely dreading the walk to the clinic which is at the farthest point in the hospital from the car park

I googled the consultant I am seeing tomorrow - not too sure that was a good idea, on the plus side I'm actually apparently seeing the top man he's the clinical lead for Gynecology who specialises in minimal access surgery & pelvic masses and developed the first fast access pelvic mass clinic in Wales (presumably this is where I'm going) however on the downside he's the go to guy for gynecological oncology across Wales.

Thats what I'm doing Owl and why I'm taking Rob as he has witnessed everything and indeed pointed out a few things to me myself which I'd got so used to adapting to that I hadn't twigged they were part and parcel of this and were maybe the first signs of a problem.

Apologies for being quiet and then popping up to be a whinging wally again but for the past 4 days I have been in so much pain and discomfort I have barely been able to think straight however this may have provided me with a bit more insight into wtf is going on with me which I can take along to the consultant on Friday and hopefully get some answers and a timescale for fixing things. I am now 1000% certain that regardless of sid being on my right side there is definitely something wrong with the left side and it is NOT referred pain and it is definitely linked to my hormones. It was left side that sent me running to the Dr in the first place and left side which has gotten steadily worse and worse month on month but once they found sid on the scan the GP has been content to dismiss this as either referred pain from sid or IBS/trapped wind, sid causing a blockage and me being fat. Last time I saw her I mentioned something else that has been going on which had me quite worried and pretty damned sure was related she poo poohed it and said it wasn't possible and it was because I was overweight - but its happened again THIS month exactly the same and as the pain has subsided its stopped happening! So I did some more googling and I have found that I am fecking right it can be related albeit that its not terribly common. I may not be a Dr but when something happens every sodding month that coincides with menses (or lack of) and ONLY happens with female hormone related monthly timings whereas I'm fat 365 days a year wouldn't the logical assumption be its ME SODDING ORMONES!!! *and breath*. I also know now that this will undoubtedly happen again until they fix me. I'm writing it all up to take with me on Friday and I'm going to see if Rob can come in with me, bless him I heard him telling his mum on the weekend that he's never seen me like this and he's worried about me. On a lighter note though the 5:2 diet will be a doddle after this as currently I'm doing a 5:2 some weeks LOL

Dont talk to me about waste of money cycle routes! We've just endured months and months of the road chaos and massive tailbacks caused by them "extending" a cycle path that I have NEVER EVER seen a single cyclist use in the 3 years the original one has been in place. Not only that but they have cut back mature hedge rows and trees to widen the footpath to turn it into this cycle way - no one can understand who its been put if for or why. Even the local cyclist have been writing to the local paper to say they won't use it and why! There are too many hidden driveways across it which cyclists say are very dangerous plus although they cut back the hedges and trees the entire pathway is still lined with them and gets covered in a thick carpet of slippery leaves. Everyone is up in arms about how pointless it is especially as it eventually dead ends and the cyclists just end up back on the road! Moreover to even get onto the cycle path the only way is either ride along the pavement on the opposite side of the road until you get to a set of traffic lights where you can cross the road safely (which is illegal) or cycle along the flipping rd just to get off it for a couple of miles before having to get back on it again *shakes head*.

Latest thinking is that BMI means nothing and should be discounted lol Hi Murtle Latest news - had a letter from the hospital yesterday cancelling my appointment for the 12th due to "unforeseen circumstances" so it's been pushed back to the 19th *sigh* I'm Ok'ish "sid" has been reasonably well behaved - or at least I've managed to work out whats setting things off and have taken steps to nip things in the bud best I can. I'm still not eating properly though I'm not going to complain about that as I had intended to go on a diet after Xmas so the fact I have no appetite and am feeling full barely halfway through a pot noodle is in many ways a good thing lol

I have got pain meds Marian - I take Naprosyn twice a day, Averil 3 times a day and 60mg codine every 4 hours as needed and it hasn't helped, she just wont give me anything stronger as she says anything stronger could potentially mask a deterioration. Thankfully my referral has come through - its still 3 weeks away but even so thats faster than I thought it might be. Last night wasn't too bad painwise but I still found it hard to get to sleep and last looked at the clock around 1:30am and woke up again at 3.30am but was only up an hour or so then back to bed until 8. It was the coughing which kept me awake last night rather than sid and I've got peppermint tea and windeze now which I'll have tonight before bed as I suppose its not inconceivable that sids causing air to get trapped. Happy birthday Alex xxxx

Thanks griff I've ordered peppermint tea and windeze from Tesco which will be here tomorrow - I've also got a load of fresh fruit and yogurts coming,.

Sorry guys for going quiet on you - nope not in hospital have had an awful cold adding insult to injury so they wouldn't have taken me in any way, I'm just exhausted I'm on day 4 or maybe 5 can't remember now of little to zero sleep. I'm told I look absolutely awful - I had to be the designated driver/escort for Rob yesterday so he could have his annual endoscopy under sedation, as we were walking in we bumped into an acquaintance that assumed we were there for me and then coming out we bumped into Barita who I hadn't told about sid as shes got enough on her plate and she was shocked at the way I looked. She rang me last night to tell me she's never ever seen me look so poorly. Rob himself told me this morning that I am bone white but with fever patches on my cheeks and huge dark smudges under my eyes (I don't have a fever). Last night I yet again couldn't get comfy the gp has upset me no end by saying she thinks the night pain is probably trapped wind or ibs tbh I dont fecking care but its blinking odd that I've not really had any trapped wind or ibs BEFORE they found a 17cm mass in my pelvis! Whatever the feck it is it ruddy well hurts to buggery and absolutely nothing seems to ease it. I've given up just laying in bed tossing and turning trying to find a position that will allow me to sleep so now I get back up sit in here in the dark eating polo mints then trying again after 20 mins or so, repeat repeat repeat all night long - last night I did get about 90 mins of half sleep in my recliner chair in the lounge then I had an hour surfing the net before falling into bed at 6am and managing about 3hours give or take, tonight I'll just do the same, cut down on the tossing and turning and stressing and just head for the chair and hope that will work again.

You guys can please keep your snow thank you muchly. I have been "sid" pain free since Friday - however by the same token I have been almost sedentary since Friday as I am afraid of angering "sid" he twinges warningly whenever I do something he doesn't like and I have yet to figure out what exactly he does and doesn't like - apart from me sitting on my bum in one place and not moving. Now obviously thats fine now and again and when I don't have to go to work so we shall see what happens on Tuesday when I'm next due in the office. PJ's and dressing gown arrived - bargains too as Yours have a sale on and I got the dressing gown for £5 and 2 pj tops for £10 - mind you the bottoms were £10 each lol bought them 2 sizes too big for me as hystersisters website says you bloat after surgery and things need to be as loose as possible. I also got the paper gowns and knickers lol I'm going to put together a "go bag" and a list of anything that needs to be added to it just in case I need to go in suddenly. Meantime its just wait n see *sigh* at least I have been able to sleep ... in fact thats all I seem to be doing at the moment.

I've put the results of my appointment in spoiler tags as its womens stuff ...

I managed about an hour of sleep - if that - problem now is that I can barely keep my eyes open but need to stay awake to go queue outside the surgery at 7:15 for a walk in appointment otherwise I won't get to see the GP today.

I have been trying and failing to be able to sleep for over 3 hours now - so much fecking pain, I've now taken naprosyn, alverine and 60mg of codine and there has been absolutely NO lessening of the pain. I am seeing the GP this morning and I am going to tell her I simply cannot go on like this ffs thankfeck I'm not working today as theres no way I could go in.

Whenever Nog had tummy pain he wouldn't eat or drink we had to reallllly tempt him with stuff, even his faves used to be rejected so we had to get very creative. Is the vet giving him an antacid Alex? Nog had some stuff to line his tummy then we had pills to give an hour before we offered food.

Merest whisper of the word snow on the news triggers Rob's "be prepared" mode - whilst 99/100 times its an over reaction both he and I have been caught out in the past so I was asked to add a few extra bits to this weeks shopping, long life milk, a loaf of bread for the freezer, pasta and rice, MRE's, tuna, corned beef, tins of beans & pasta, extra dog food, toilet rolls etc. None of which will go to waste even if it doesn't snow and will just mean a cheap shop the week he declares "stand down" lol

Welcome back Marion are they going to send you a new router? I've been googling cysts and going ooOOOOhhhh that explains..... omg thats why thats been happening ... blinking heck I'd noticed that but didn't think anything of it .... Just little things like feeling full from smaller meals (this btw is probably a good side effect LOL) Rob noticed before I did that I've been leaving at least half my meals for Baddie for weeks, or asking Rob if he wanted to finish it, he particularly noticed that I have been passing him my barely touched desserts now that I am paying attention to it I really am not eating anything like my usual sized meal last night for example for our main meal Rob had chicken enchiladas whereas I opted for a pot noodle as I wasn't all that hungry (again this is probably a bloody good thing lol) so who knows if they do decide to take it out maybe I'll lose some weight I've also been utterly gobsmacked at how "large" is "LARGE" I expected it to be something about an inch or so in size but flipping heck looking at pictures and reading about other peoples experiences they can grow to the size of a full term baby! Hopefully mine is nowhere near that size - pea sized will be fine thanks lol theres also some other minor physical things which I've felt and mentioned in passing to Rob and dismissed as just random weird menopause effects that in fact are more likely to be down to the cyst. I'm hoping the gp will be able to tell me a lot more next week.

Thank you everyone - well she did tell me what she found and in fact she repeated the scan with an empty bladder just to be sure she wasn't including my bladder in the sizing. Apparently I have a VERY large ovarian cyst - she even stressed that it is very large and looks to be displacing/pressing against organs but what has surprised the hell out of me is that its on the right side whereas all my pain and symptoms etc are on the left side! She had to tell me what she found as given the size of it she herself is making a referral for me to gynecology, she has told me not to be too concerned that she's making the referral without waiting for my GP as thats standard procedure when they find a mass this large. She said she wasn't at all surprised I have been having back pain as in all likelihood its pressing on nerves and its probably been growing for a while. TBH I am now wondering if all along my back and standing problems have been due to this rather than arthritis or at least made worse because of this, maybe if they sort this out I'll get my mobility back as well - that would be great. Apparently the fact its on the right when the pain etc is on the left is due to referred pain. At least now I know that there is something there and it may mean I won't need a hysterectomy after all.

All washed dressed and ready to go for my scan an hour before we need to leave thats how flipping keen I am lol I'm hoping that they might tell me something while I'm there but not counting on it - don't know whether I want them to find something which means I can get it sorted out or not find anything which means no hysterectomy but then a mystery around wtf is causing the problem. Had a long chat with my boss on Tuesday which ended up with me in tears - not because she wasn't supportive because she is very understanding but because I am so ruddy frustrated and peed off - in the larger scale of things there are many many people who have a lot lot worse health issues than I do its just mine seem to be coming along all at the same flipping time. I really really want to chase up the optician and see if they can hasten my pco referral as thats deteriorated even more and is affecting my job but I don't want to hasten that whilst I still don't know whats going on with this pain thing.

Any idea what trouble Marian is having?

Thanks guys I guess I'm worried because my mum took 8 co-codamol every single day for about 20 years she couldn't even start the day until she'd taken her first 2 it was the only thing that kept her going with her arthritis - I just don't want to end up the same way being dependent on pain meds, its daft I know that logically I should take the damned things and hope they take the pain away I'm OK at the moment but then I have been sat on my arse doing nothing all morning nervous about doing anything that'll set the fecking thing off again. Rob thinks I should go back to the Dr but I can't see the point until after the results of the scan on Thursday when we can talk about whatever it finds and where we go from there.

Moaning - up all night again in pain due to go back to work tomorrow after 2 weeks Xmas leave feck knows if I'm going to be up to it or not I have decided to keep a track of the dates its kicking off etc. I had been pretty much pain free from 24th Dec until 3rd Jan no pills or anything needed in fact apart from it being my cycle I'd felt OK but last night nothing I did could ease the pain *sigh* Rob gave me a talking to this morning because I hadn't taken the codine I just have this irrational fear of getting addicted since there are warnings about addiction plastered all over the ruddy box along with don't drive if it makes you drowsy (yeah thats gonna enable me to get to work then *sigh*) but I'll start taking it today and see how I go. My scan is on Thursday so hopefully it won't be long until I have some idea wtf is happening to me.

Thanks griff - yes they have shopmobility however every time I have rung to book a scooter they have been fully booked it seems you need to book weeks in advance and I tend not to plan when I want to go shopping. Jazz I knew someone had them - it is a portable one I tried the Roma Vegas 2 and I can lift the bits albeit with effort for the motor section, but doable, its a good price at £388 new with 12 month warranty and a local shop which does all the servicing etc. however it's only a 2" clearance and I've seen a GoGo Traveller Elite plus 4 which is a bit more powerful and has 3" clearance but is £509 which is a heck of a difference in price, but Rob said that he thought the clearance with the Vegas was borderline when I went over a dropped curb and feels I should get the more expensive one.