Rachel Rumpelstiltskin

I decided to try and be healthy when i went shopping tongight. So lots of fruit and veg and veggie foods fair enough, but then i decided to buy some camomile tea bags. YUCK YUCK YUCK. who else drinks them and why are they ment to be good for you? and why am i stupid enough to of drank the whole cup?

Ive made a decision about my future (yes i know i generally should of made it before i applied to uni courses im not sure i want) but if i fail biology and dont get into UWE to study either animal science or vet nursing, i will go away to Cambodia and study for a BTEC in Tropical habitat conservation. I said i wanted to travel and actually do something! and ive found it there is this company which you can go away with and earn qualifications. There is also a loan type company which can finanically support you anyway here is the website for anyone else who fancies doing something wierd and wonderful for a couple of months. Frontier

RMF: I think Murphy decided to chew my Arnica cream- i just went to use it and it all came out at the wrong end RRMF: Ive decided to become a veggie again

The other day we ran out of forks and naturally (as she should) my mother asked me if i had any. I found a few so took them downstairs and well we didnt have enough for dinner the other night, so we had to eat Steak and Kidney pie with spoons. No one in the family could work out where they had gone and i was asked and i really didnt think i had any. Anyway i just emptied the dirty water in the kitchen in the annexe and well i found all the forks so i had just had to be totally sneaky and creep downstairs and pretend it wasnt me Unfortuantly the dogs arnt in the house at the moment, so i cant blame them

Ive got up and now waiting for vast quantaties of dogs and men. Why is'there not a 'i want to be back inbed smiley or are my eyes too sleepy still?

Can i admit to not getting that?

Yeh, we have had dogs in the kennels that needed insulin and its easy enough. The vet will go through everything, and what to do if the dog has a hypo

If you ever get these two environments confused, this should make things a Little bit clearer. IN PRISON......you spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell. AT WORK.......you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle. IN PRISON......you get three meals a day. AT WORK.......you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON......you get time off for good behaviour. AT WORK.......you get more work for good behaviour. IN PRISON......the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. AT WORK...... You're often required to carry a security card and open all the Doors yourself. IN PRISON......you can watch TV and play games. AT WORK.......you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON......you get your own toilet. AT WORK.......you share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat. IN PRISON......they allow your family and friends to visit. AT WORK.......you're not supposed to even speak to your family. IN PRISON......all expenses are paid by the taxpayers. AT WORK.......you pay all your expenses to get to work, and then they deduct Taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. IN PRISON......you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out. AT WORK ......you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars. IN PRISON. ....you must deal with sadistic wardens. AT WORK.......they're called managers. So all I have to Ask YOU, IS THIS REALLY FAIR?? Have a Good Day at Work! :-)

Call centre conversations from people for whom the designation Homo sapiens is merely a courtesy title. The last caller would need several training sessions just to become computer illiterate. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours". +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall". --------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?" Operator: " Doesn't the product title give you a clue?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off". --------------------------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in "Woven". Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland". --------------------------------------------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on". --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?". Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?". ---------------------------------------------------------------------- There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared." Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power . . . . . . . A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too f*..@ing stupid to own a computer!"

tou che

How does it make you ideal?

Kerri, i thought you dont drink milk

Hello! My name is Rachel and im 18 and im owned by George the hamster I live with my mum who has too many dogs/cats/chickens

Night Night Littlest One