Laura_E

How awful. What is wrong with the council? Can't they see that these people are trying to help? They should be focusing their resources somewhere else, not singling out those that are trying to make a positive difference.

We have decided to keep Dennis here with us instead of putting him through the stress of adapting to yet another home. He is very settled and has made himself right at home, so it seems unfair to move him on at his stage of life. Unfortunately Bobby and Molly are still acting like the cats from hell, even though they look like butter wouldn't melt..... But Tess and Dennis are the best of friends and have built their own allegiance. She even cleans him, which is adorable!

We have decided that it would be unfair to move Dennis at this stage in his life and with all the upheaval he has had recently, so he is going to stay with us. Unfortunately Bobby and Molly are still being incredibly hostile towards him, but he does at least have one friend.....

Thank you all so much for the kind messages. I have had a very chilled out day and am now scaring myself by watching Case 39 alone!

I was out Saturday night, so only caught half of the performances on ITV yesterday morning. I know that everyone else will probably disagree with me, but I actually like the boy band. I know that they don't have the strongest voices, but neither do most boy bands that are around today. They are five good looking, parent friendly boys that work well together. I enjoyed their performance. I also liked Treyc and Paije's performances- although I wasn't keen on the song he was singing. I think Katie and Rebecca have great voices, and I like Mary and the girl group- even though they aren't the strongest singers they perform well together. I still hate Cher. It would be good if they didn't add a stupid rap into her song choice next week, it's boring now. Her attitude seems to be getting worse and worse each week and she is too sure of herself, she needs bringing down a peg or two. But to be honest, she could sing a note perfect Ave Marie and I'd still despise her! Wagner seems like a really nice person so I don't want to be too harsh, but he hasn't actually been singing, he just talks his way through the songs. Also, what was all that about him and Mary?!!! But lets be honest, they were all a million times better than Katy Perry! She was awful, and so was Usher the week before. Going on The X-Factor is like career suicide!

A cute picture of Tess and Dennis...

I'm in a terraced house so don't think anything could get into the wall cavities. I do have a fireplace in the living room and in my bedroom though, so something could have got in there. Last night I sprayed the entire living room with Raid and gave the windows and fireplace a really good blast. But since getting up this morning I have already had to get rid of two more. I'm just very aware that they breed at alarming rates and don't want to end up with swarms of them. I really, really hate flies with a passion so this is my worst nightmare- I've even started imagining them now!

Yes I do have cats, but they are too lazy to catch anything (thankfully). In the whole five years that I have had them I have only had to deal with one bird, which was luckily unharmed and taken to the bird sanctuary up the road. Plus they don't have a cat flap so I let them in and out and would know if they have bought anything in. It's a good job really as I don't think I could handle it! I have had the heating on for the last couple of days, so that may have attracted them. It's possible that something may have died in the chimney, but I am too scared to look! I can't smell anything suspicious, but it's possible. I haven't seen one in the last four hours, but that doesn't mean much. It just worried me that they will land on the cats food, and the kitchen surfaces. I will try blasting some fly spray in the fire place. Does it have an adverse effects on cats and dogs?

I forgot to add, something else that I have found quite worrying and upsetting is the way that Tess has reacted every time I pick up a magazine to swot the flies. Last night she was scratching furiously at the front door to be let out. When I went to find her she was hiding under my bed. Then she wouldn't come in from the garden when she saw me swot one in the kitchen. When she did eventually come in she had her tail between her legs. I've always liked to think that she knew I would never do anything to hurt her, but she's obviously had some sort of bad experience in the past.

Yesterday a fly flew in through the back door when I opened it to let the cats out. I managed to shoo it out again, shut the door and went off to work. When I came in last night there was another one sitting on the curtain. I didn't think much of it, shooed it out with the newspaper and continued with the Wednesday night ritual of sorting out the rubbish and recycling. Once I had finished that I sat down to watch the tv and noticed another fly on the ceiling light. I have to confess, by this stage I had lost my patience and squashed it. I cleaned it up and stuck it out with the rest of the rubbish. Sat down again and an hour later there was another one buzzing around. So that was also disposed of. I then repeated this process THREE more times before going to bed. This morning I got up and low and behold, there was another one sitting on the curtain. So I killed it and went off to work. Then whilst I was in my meeting I noticed something on my boot, and I am pretty sure it was a maggot! Of course it might not have been, but it looked like a very small one. I was horrified. I got back from work this afternoon and yet again, there was another fly on the curtain. I killed it and sat down to do some work. I have been sitting at the laptop for four hours now and have had to kill and dispose of another three flies (I feel like such a hypocrite with being into animal rights and things, but they literally make my skin crawl). I have had a good look around the room to see if there is any sign of a nest, or whatever, but I can't find anything. I am quite obsessive when it comes to cleaning, so it's not like I live in the type of environment that would attract flies, but I can't think of any explanation as to why there are so many of them. They only seem to be coming out one at a time and are quite large, so I don't think they've just 'hatched'. Not that I know much about flies other than the fact that I hate them and the thought of them flying around in my house makes me sick! Has anyone got any advice, please, for my sanity?!!!!

Back in 2004 I lost nearly three stone and went from a size 14 to a size 8 in the space of a few months. All of my friends were telling me about how awful I looked, but I just thought that they were jealous. Like your friend, I became obsessed with losing more and more and would weigh myself about five times a day. It also became quite addictive and I felt a real sense of achievement if I had managed to shift another few pounds. What was interesting is that all of my female friends would tell me how bad I looked, but all my male friends said I looked great. But to be honest I really didn't care what anyone else thought, it was just about what I thought. I remember one day I was at work (in the prison) and one of the inmates shouted 'skinny bitch' out of the window. Instead of being angry, I felt happy that somebody thought I was skinny. I had a very warped view of the world. It wasn't helped by the fact that a woman approached me in the street one day and said if I could lose 'half a stone or so' she would be interested in giving me a casting. I'm 5'10 and at the time weighed 8 and a half stone. I kept this up for four years and I can now say that without a doubt, I had an eating disorder. At the time I didn't think so as I wasn't making myself sick or starving myself completely, but I was totally obsessed. I knew exactly how many calories were in everything and would never eat more than 900 a day (even though women should eat between 1500- 2000 daily). At the beginning of 2008 I noticed that I had put on weight from christmas and was too scared to weigh myself. I went on the slim fast diet to try and shift it quickly, but it just made me more hungry. Gradually over the year I got fatter and fatter and by christmas 2008 I was wearing a size 12. Since then I have got even bigger and am now back to a 12/14. I am incredibly unhappy with how I look now, but I know that it was unhealthy and impossible for me to maintain that weight without putting stress on my body. I never had any energy and went through a stage of having an almost permanent cold sore. I was still working in the prison at the time and would regularly have to restrain inmates, but the more weight I lost the more difficult I found it. That didn't go unnoticed by my colleagues either. I know it sounds quite cheesy, but I think the turning point probably came when I adopted Bouncer from the OC. He took my mind off of me and gave me something positive to focus on. He also changed my entire routine, so that threw all of my stupid eating rituals out of sync. I'm not suggesting that your friend adopts a dog! However, giving her something else to focus on could be a starting point. The other thing about eating disorders is the sense of control that they give you. I know that the more people told me to eat, the more determined I was to not. Most of us are bound by rules and regulations in life, but what we do to our own bodies isn't one of them. It's also important to remember that your friend is probably still in her euphoric stage at the moment. If she has been over weight for some time, she will be relishing the 'new her'. Things that she probably used to dread, like shopping, can now be something to enjoy. When I was a size 8 I was in Topshop every week, now I do everything in my power to avoid clothes shops in general. People are also probably treating her differently than before. I don't mean friends and family, but the general public. I know that sounds odd, but it's definitely something that I noticed. This is just my opinion, but I wouldn't say anything to her about her weight unless she mentions it. At the moment it is probably at the back of her mind all of the time anyway, and talking about it will just reinforce whatever is going on in her head. It would probably be a nice distraction if you turned up and just spoke about whatever is going on in your life at the moment. Maybe suggest meeting up for lunch and then encourage her to have a dessert. Say something like 'let's be naughty, I think we deserve it'. If she has been sticking to this diet rigidly she has probably forgotten how good a lot of these foods taste and it's good to have a reminder. Sorry, this has turned into a bit of an essay!

Dennis has been here for just over two weeks now and hasn't had any interest or luck finding a rescue space. Bobby and Molly are still being incredibly hostile towards him, but he is handling it so well. He never retaliates, but doesn't shy away either. He is just a sweet, lovely boy. He loves to spend the evenings on the sofa cuddling up to us and is so affectionate. It makes me sad that my two are being so horrible to him as he doesn't deserve it. I have tried giving them lots of attention and fuss to make sure that they don't get jealous, but that hasn't worked. I have also tried telling them off and putting them outside when they are being nasty, but that hasn't worked either. If anyone else has got some suggestions they would be gratefully received. And here's another picture of lovely Dennis......

Agreed. He looks like he should be selling papers in a Dickens film adaptation. We get it, he's a cheeky chappy, no need to keep reinforcing the fact! I'm not doubting that she is trying to model herself on Cheryl, that's obvious, but I really don't think they look-a-like. Admittedly, Cheryl used to be quite rough around the edges in the early days, her fashion sense was questionable and she didn't have the best styling (or teeth), but she has always been naturally pretty- Cher isn't. I'm probably biased because I don't like her attitude, singing or general demeanor, but there you go. Nicolo and FYD. Even though he's an arrogant twerp, I actually felt sorry for Nicolo. The way they eliminated him was quite nasty, as if it wasn't bad enough for him to be told that he was in the bottom three, they also had to reinforce the fact that he was least popular out of the three. I also felt sorry for FYD. But I'll probably feel sorry for all of them when they get eliminated (with the exception of Cher of course!).

Sorry, but I really don't see how they look a like. People keep saying it, but Cheryl is gorgeous- Cher is vile. Even before Cheryl had her teeth fixed she was lovely, admittedly she has had a lot of help from hairdressers, stylists etc, but she has always been a genuine beauty. Cher is only 17 and wears more make-up than an OAP drag queen. I'm glad I'm not the only one that can see the light! I think Treyc and Mary gave the best performances of the night. I thought it was interesting that Treyc said Cher and Katie had been unwelcoming when she returned as the wild card. It just lends credence to the fact that they aren't very nice girls. I thought Cher's attitude stank in general tonight. Not sure what to make of Katie really. I had to watch Aidan's performance from behind the pillow, it was cringe inducing.

Just watched the X-Factor on ITV catch up and I have to say, Cheryl has made some awful decisions. Rebecca is lovely and deserved to go through, Katie seems very annoying and overly confident and will definitely rub people up the wrong way- and don't even get me started on Cher. She is vile. I dislike everything about her, her singing, her demented facial expressions, her attitude and her inappropriate dress 'sense', or lack of. When I saw her first audition I was amazed that they put her through. She was awful and can't sing. She also dresses like a cheap 80's prostitute and I can't believe her parents allow her to leave the house like it. The hair, the make-up, everything repels me. Also, when she first auditioned they said that she had just turned 16, yet she had a tasteless tattoo on her hand! Nice. She is hideous.

Sorry to put this publicly, but haven't had any response to PM's. I am still waiting for my collar to be delivered. Have PM'd my address and measurements.

Forgot to add, I also love Brian May for being so honest. He recently opened a memorial for Freddy Mercury in my home town. When London Tonight asked him for a few words he said something to the effect of "I think it's great that Freddy gave the town something to be proud of. Back then Feltham was a fairly unglamorous place" then he paused, looked round at all the degenerates standing behind him and said "well, it still is to be honest" I've never laughed so much in my life!

I was in my early teens when the consort campaign was happening, but I remember my grandma went on a number of demos. Unfortunately she had a stroke before the kennels closed so never got to see the end result. I was really angry about the coverage in the media, now I just find it amusing that a woman in her late 60's with the nicest nature ever could be compared to a terrorist. I got into quite a heated arguement with one of my friends the other day about the ALF. She started reeling off 'facts' about how they are an organised terrorist group responsible for extreme violence and murder. Not sure where she got this information from! Obviously you get will get one or two people that take things to the extreme, but they hardly represent the majority. I don't understand why people are demonised for trying to save animals from cruelty and suffering. I have noticed whenever the media do invite guest speakers from animal rights groups onto tv shows, they find the most inarticulate, extremist idiot possible. It's a deliberate stitch up. That's why I was shocked to see Brian May on the channel four news (who are particular offenders for getting idiots on) speaking about the badger cull in Wales. When John Snow asked him what purpose badgers serve, he answered quite simply, why do we as humans think that every other species on the planet exists to serve us? It was great to see somebody with intelligence and integrity representing the animal rights movement for a change. It's a shame it doesn't happen more often. Sorry, went off on a tangent a bit there!

I have already started a thread about Dennis in the rehoming/rescue section: http://www.therefugeforums.org.uk/forums/index.php?/topic/51536-dennis/ But I thought I'd also start a thread for him here for general updates. Dennis arrived with us on Thursday evening as a very scruffy and bewildered stray that had spent the last week living in one of my work colleagues gardens. Despite attempts to locate his owner nobody came forward, so she decided to try and find him a rescue space, but this was also unsuccessful. So on Wednesday she took him to the vet for a check up and to see what they advised. The vet estimated that he was approx 12 years old and didn't rate his chances of finding a new home. So they contacted me and explained that he was likely to be put to sleep, and of course, I couldn't say no! So he has been here for two days now and has made himself right at home. For the first 24 hours he didn't really venture out from underneath the dining table, but last night he decided to come and join us on the sofa for a cuddle. Despite his initial complaining, my lodger has now taken to him extremely well, and the feeling is definitely mutual. He also loves Tess and much to her bemusement, enjoys nothing more than rubbing himself up against her. Bobby and Molly have been there usual charming selves-lots of growling and hissing but not much else. Dennis seems to realise that they are all mouth and no trousers and doesn't even look in their direction any more. He definitely has the attitude of 'whatever'!!! I took these pictures this afternoon as it is such a rarity to see the softer side of my lodger... Excuse the hands down the shorts! So he is here to stay until we can find him a rescue space, or preferably a home. He is such a lovely boy and very undemanding, he would make a lovely companion for somebody and definitely deserves a good home after everything that he has been through. I have flea treated him and wormed him and will have him vaccinated and chipped once he has finished his anti-biotics. I will also have his claws clipped as they are quite overgrown. He has a cyst on his eye which I will be getting advice on when we go to the vets.

So sorry. It sounds like she was a very special dog.

Thanks Amy. Once he has been here for a bit longer and I have been able to assess him properly I will contact them. He has grown a bit more in confidence now and seems more settled. He had been sitting under the dinner table for the first 24 hours, but last night he came and sat with us on the sofa and was still there when I got up this morning! The lodger is coming round now too. I got these pictures of them last night..... It's hard not to like him, he so chilled out and loving and asks for very little. I think he would be perfectly happy in a home that could provide him with a nice warm bed to sleep on, a decent meal and the occasional bit of fuss- a home with a dog to rub up against would be a bonus too! I am going to Holland next week so had hoped to find something for him quite quickly, but I am sure the lodger will be able to take good care of him whilst I'm away, and then the search will continue. If anyone is able to cross post for me I would really appreciate it.

So sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing that. It has made me feel at the same time! I'm so glad to hear that your daughter is doing so well, I'm sure you are very proud of everything that she has overcome and achieved.

Thanks Marie-Claire Unfortunately the lodger isn't very happy, but he never is so it's nothing new! I have frontlined and wormed him today and got him a nice new bed and collar. Once he is off the anti-biotics I will have him vaccinated and see what the vet advises regarding the cysts on his eye. He is very small for a male cat, but I am hoping he will start to fill out soon. He is eating extremely well (he even tries to steal the dog food!) so I don't think it will be long before he is back to a healthy weight, I just want to make sure it is gradual. He has the runs at the moment, which is something the lodger has had a good old moan about! But he is bound to be unsettled considering what he has been through. All of the rescues that I have spoken to have said that things are really slow on the rehoming front at the moment and don't rate my chances of finding a home for a 12 year old when people aren't even adopting kittens, but I am staying positive. He is such a lovely cat, and has obviously been well socialised- he absolutely loves Tess and follows her around everywhere. She is a bit confused by all the attention, but has given him the odd lick here and there!

I received a phone call last night from a girl that I work with to say that a stray cat had turned up in her mother-in-laws garden and hadn't left since. Her mother-in-law, who also works at my place, recently lost her father after a long illness and has been incredibly stressed out with the whole thing. The cat first appeared in the garden last Monday, the same day that her father passed away- so he has been named Dennis in her dad's memory. Apparently when he first arrived he was in a really bad way, but as they didn't want to encourage him away from his home they didn't interact with him or feed him, until it became apparent that he wasn't going anywhere! So for the last week he has been sleeping in their garden in a make-shift shelter. They have sent flyers round to see if he belongs to anyone but haven't had any response. Last night they took him to the vet for a check up. He wasn't chipped, but is neutered. Judging by his teeth the vet estimates that he is about 12 years old. As he is primarily white, he has some scaring around his ears and also a lump by his eye. The vet has checked this and said that it is just a cyst and not a tumour. He is currently on a course of anti-biotics to help get him back to health. Unfortunately they were unable to find Dennis a rescue space, despite ringing over 40 charities. They also contacted the animal warden, but they claimed to have no duty of care. So, faced with the prospect of leaving him at the vets to be put to sleep, they decided to contact me- knowing that I wouldn't be able to turn him away! So he arrived here early this evening and has been an absolute sweetheart. He is very, very sweet and affectionate and has been incredibly brave with Tess and the cats. It is clear that he has been neglected for quite some time, but it doesn't seem to have effected his temperament, he is lovely. Bobby and Molly (my cats) haven't been particularly welcoming, but he hasn't reacted and has taken their hostility in his stride. I wasn't sure how he would react to Tess, but he has been very confident around her and was even rubbing himself up against her earlier. He loves a fuss and has been purring away. At the moment he is very underweight, but he has a healthy appetite and is now on a good diet so should start to fill out soon. His nails are also quite overgrown, but once he has settled in I will get these seen to and also have him vaccinated. If anybody is able to provide this lovely boy with a rescue space, or a home, please get in contact. He is in foster with me in Feltham (outskirts of West London) but transport can be arranged.