suzeanna

Oi! no slagging Micras! when our trusty Sierra estate gave up the ghost, we downsized to a Micra..they are great, and our very big (sadly no longer with us) GSD travelled in the back quite happily. More recently we've had a lurcher and a golden retriever in it together, no probs at all. So unless you have st bernards or something you shouldn't have too much trouble.

Both my kids will be out of the country from today/tomorrow...son and fiancee going to Crete, daughter and son in law going to their apartment in Altinkum. I wont have anyone to phone/text/email all week, I'll go mad! (well, madder possibly.)

Wow, he has done well Mel! I'm sure he must feel much fitter for it, can chase you round the bedroom and catch you now

For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr. Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram "O.K," I said, "let's do it." "Stand up here real close" she said, (She got my boob in line), "And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal, I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooter's in a vise! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish Pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's vise-like grip. A prisoner in this vicious thing, My poor defenseless tit! "Take a deep breath" she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?!? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting. "There, that's good," I heard her say, (The room was slowly swaying.) "Now, let's have a go at the other one." Have mercy, I was praying. It squeezed me from both up and down, It squeezed me from both sides. I'll bet SHE'S never had this done, To HER tender little hide. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blindfold. I have no wish to see again, My knockers getting steam rolled. If I had no problem when I came in, I surely have one now. If there had been a cyst in there, It would have gone "ker-pow!" This machine was created by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there, And see how THEY come out!

Jacky and anyone else needing one. I've done my sums..and redone them...and there is no doubt about it we definitely can't afford another dog, much as I'd love one, unless we give up our yearly holiday which is the only thing keeping my OH sane...kennel fees for two would just be too much. So why oh why do I keep reading the dogs needing homes threads?? its like picking a scab, you know its going to hurt but you cant resist doing it

I'm glad it wasn't a man who posted that

Why do I keep finding woodlice..or pillbugs as my OH calls em...in the bathroom..on the landing...but not downstairs? do I have a particularly athletic breed of the little perishers that see our outside wall as the woodlouse equivalent of Everest, or do the ones I keep dropping out of the window have little bungee ropes and boingggg back up when I'm not looking? nearly gave one an unpleasant experience earlier, it was on the loo roll and I only just noticed in time

I just found something growing between the pavers in my garden that look suspiciously like a cannabis plant. Should I leave it and see how big it gets, or hoick it out now? Dont want lots of spaced out sparrows with the munchies!

No doubt if he did slip Claire would be there with the offer of a cold compress or suitable treatment for the afflicted area!

Been looking at holidays for next year as someone who works in the travel industry said its booking up fast..and realised I wont be able to send Dylan to White Lodge next year! Claire make sure wherever you live has a spare corner can you??

I am sixty! I still remember things, like erm...well...such as....well I do, I know I do

I think I'm going to hide under a table and have a nice quiet nervous breakdown my son's on off marriage is on...I think...but he phoned just now and said his dad, who is in the country for a while, wants to stay the night at his place, and his fiancee and his dad dont get on. She said if his dad comes, she wont be coming home from work Trouble is his dad lent him a lot of money towards his flat, which he is paying back just the interest I think, and if he annoys his dad he might just demand the lot back and he would be in real trouble! Argghhh! I may have been wrong, but I told him if she cant be nice for just one evening to please him, then I think he's making a big mistake marrying her. I'm seriously considering taking to the bottle.

Only fifteen miles..and you said you were going at 11?? thats a very very long lunch

Just remember Claire...to remove the eau de kennel for something a bit more allluring....for your *lunch*. Dylan says he fancied you even with the eau de kennel..or perhaps because of it??

Be prepared for them to take it off if they are the least bit doubtful...I had one on my shoulder that started going patchy colours and lumpy, it was quite large, about the size of a one penny piece. She was dubious about it, so took it off there and then. It didn't hurt, honestly. Well, the injections to numb it stung a bit, but after that, it didnt. Turned out to be fine, as I'm sure yours will be.

Morning all! I'm freeezing...where did the sunshine go?? Snow...your friend might have put his problems behind him now, whatever they were..and because you knew about them, he could somehow feel that talking to you might have brought them back into focus? or else he's just a prat you are better off without, and you didn't know him as well as you imagined you did. My OH was as he thought very good friends with an american woman online some years ago...she suddenly turned round and told him that actually, she was eight years older than she had said....her *boyfriend* was actually her husband, and had been for many years, and her name wasn't Danielle...it was Naomi! she didn't tell many lies then!

I dont know...my lurcher races around a lot! well...a bit...occasionally When he can be bothered to get off the bed that is! He did come downstairs when Tesco delivered, but when he found it wasn't his favourite delivery bloke who always gives him a big cuddle, he went back up again...haven't seen him since.

An "Internet friend" I've been talking to for years sent me this...she's a New Zealander, so might be biased! sorry for all the chevrons, couldn't be bothered to take them off! Australian Love Poem > >(Who said Australians weren't romantic?) > >Of course I love ya darlin >You're a bloody top-notch bird >And when I say you're gorgeous >I mean every single word > >So ya bum is on the big side >I don't mind a bit of flab >It means that when I'm ready >There's something there to grab > >So your belly isn't flat no more >I tell ya, I don't care >So long as when I cuddle ya >I can get my arms round there > >No sheila who is your age >Has nice round perky breasts >They just gave in to gravity >But I know ya did ya best > >I'm tellin' ya the truth now >I never tell ya lies >I think it's very sexy >That you've got dimples on ya thighs > >I swear on me grave now >The moment that we met >I thought you was as good as >I was ever gonna get > >No matter what you look like >I'll always love ya dear >Now shut up while the footy's on >And fetch another beer. >

You aren't? you could write...you DO write! just try writing for magazines instead of for the Fugees I used to do pottery..but cant any more.

same here! maybe that makes us special??

I've been reading this thread with sadness for all of you who have suffered..or are still..at the hands of your OH...but there is another type of *abuse* which can stay with you all your life, and that is from your parents. My dad died when I was six from tuberculosis...my mother then moved to sussex from our home in yorkshire with her best friend. (Very best friend as I realised when I was older!). She wasnt well when we moved and it was soon found she had tb too, she was in a sanitorium for over two years and nearly died. I was sent back up North to stay with her much older sister, who had an open dislike of children, lord knows why she said she'd take me. Every time the news from the hospital was bad, she told me when my mother died I would be put in an orphanage, she certainly wasn't keeping me. Against all odds mother recovered, so back I went to sussex. Passed my 11 plus, into a school where I knew no one but everyone else seemed to know each other, and they told me I was a foreigner because I didn't talk like them! I did ok at school..but if I got a B it should have been an A..when I got an A, it should have been a A plus. I had to ask for everything in the house...may I read a book? may I have an apple? never allowed friends home...never allowed to have anything much of my own. I did get a puppy...I called her Jemima Puddleduck....came home one day and she had been given away, she never did tell me why. Mother told me that she always wanted three children, but if she'd just had one she wanted a boy. Made me feel really good that! and I was never told I looked pretty, or was clever...just criticised all the time. She's been dead since 1984 and I'm now ...erm....ancient! but I still think back and cry sometimes. I never have had good self esteem and despite now having a younger husband who thinks the world of me, I still dont and doubt I ever will. Those of you with friends and caring parents..be very very grateful for your blessings!

I give up....my son rang....the on off marriage is now on again, for the beginning of December. Oh well...I suppose he knows what he's doing! (apart from driving me quietly mad)

I can see why people are saying what they are to you, but its not always that easy. I was miserable in my first marriage for a long time, but I didn't have the money to get out, or anywhere else to go. It wasn't until my mum died and left me her cottage and some money that I did...my kids were 19 and 17 by then...and if she hadn't, no doubt I'd still be with him, and still miserable! Looking back I married far too young, 18, and my daughter a year later. Now I'm happily married..but broke. Ah well, cant have everything.

Whats happening? terrorist alert or someone with too many cigarettes?

Morning! Its wet and murky and horrible here this morning. Dylan is sulking cos he just got a road walk instead of a good run offlead in the fields...its too muddy and slippery.