Tempest

Hi Sam - thanks for the reply and you too Yantan I have thought of fostering Sam but my main worry with it is the cat issue as quite often dogs looking for foster are unassessed with cats or you only have the previous owners word on how they are and as we really need to bring a dog home that's going to be pretty bomb proof with them I wasn't sure it would be the best thing. I think I'm worried that if we did foster and then the doglet turned out not to be great with cats that a negative experience might be worse for Meg in the long term? I thought if we found a dog that had been in foster with cats and we knew for certain wasn't bothered by them then that would be a safer option for Meg but I'm definitely open to suggestions

Thanks for the reply Snow I wouldn't adopt of course without the OH's consent so we'd both have to 'agree' to it but I think I've accepted that he's never going to be hugely enthusiastic about it unfortunately but I'm only in my 30s and refuse to live the rest of my life dogless! Having said that I'd be covering all costs and doing all the feeding/walking general care giving and I think the agreement would be that the dog would be 'my' dog in regards to any future relationship breakup etc (although hopefully that won't be happening!) so we would both know where we stand in that respect. I don't think he'd seem 'relunctant' if we were having a homecheck as we wouldn't be at that point unless we were both in agreement and I definitely don't think our environment would be stressful for a new dog as if we got to the point of adopting we'd both have to be on board with it so there would be no 'hostility' from him towards a new dog or strain on the relationship I don't think. We're both pretty solid and have been together nearly 8 years now and generally he's a fairly laid back character. To be honest it's hard to know what I would do if Meg wouldn't accept a dog. I guess if things proved to be thoroughly unworkable with training and lots of hard work, stair gates and 'safe zones', then I guess the dog would have to be returned which would be heartbreaking but as Meg was here first I think that would be how things would have to be but I'm not sure how rescues would feel about me saying that but I think honesty is the best policy hopefully. I think I'd have to stress to them that she is nervous and hopefully any dog we would think of adopting would have to be pretty laid back I think and ignore cats as much as possible to give things the best chance of working. I guess with anyone with existing pets no-one can ever know how things are going to work out 100% but I think I'd be extremely dedicated to putting the work in to giving things the best chance possible and I'm not sure there's much more I could do other than that

As most of you probably know we lost Olliedog about 5 years ago now and have been dogless ever since - pretty much due to work commitments and the fact that I was pretty upset and not sure I could have another dog again My OH isn't keen on having a dog again as Ollie was my dog before I met him so we never adopted him 'together' and he thinks dogs are a tie and extra aggravation etc but I've pretty much accepted that's his viewpoint but that I had a dog before I met him so if he didn't to live with a dog he should have said something then and shouldn't have stuck with me!!! He's great with my brother's dog and plays brilliantly with him and he's great with the cats so I know he'll be great with a dog but I've given up trying to win him over as I'm at the point where I think life is too short to hold back on what you really want and he'll just have to accept that basically Since losing Ollie we have adopted 2 rescue cats, Jasmine and Meg, Jas is super confident and I don't think she'd be fazed by a dog at all but Meg is super nervous and even if we have visitors she growls and legs it outside Jas is very much an indoor cat and pops out into the back garden now and again but pretty much snoozes on our bed for most of the day and Meg is always out whatever the weather and in summer we barely see much of her at all - personality wise they really couldn't be more different. Jas is 5 and Meg is roughly 3 years old. They tolerate each other but I wouldn't say they were great mates at all. I'm currently teaching 4 days a week and am hoping that from Easter I'll be able to change my hours even further to do 2 full days and 2 half days a week. My OH has a half day every Friday so I'm hoping if I can make one of my full days a Friday a potential doglet would only be home for a full day once a week and we'd use a dog walker on that day (I already have someone in mind). Plus during school hols I'm at home all the time. I'm just really wondering if a) that setup sounds suitable for a rescue dog and b) I'm quite worried about how Meg cat will react to things. Ideally we'd be looking to find a small dog (I really love Cavaliers and would absolutely love a Cavvie) that has been in foster with cats and we know is pretty bomb proof with them and hope that over time with slow careful intros that things could work out. I know Cavs are really popular when they do come up in rescue and my other worry would be that as we do have work commitments we'll always be pipped to the post by people who are retired etc and home all the time. We don't necessarily 'have' to have a Cav but they my absolute dream dog so I think if we're going to adopt again it makes sense to look for your perfect dog We are planning a holiday in the summer so I'd try to organise that for the first 2 weeks of the 6 weeks hols in July and then I'd still have a month off after getting home to settle a new doglet in. Obviously it's really hard to plan when your perfect dog is going to crop up so that might be a bit idealist thinking we can come home from hols and find our perfect dog to be around when I've got the summer hols to settle them in. Just really wondered to get people's opinions on how doable and realistic that all sounds as I don't want to get my hopes up and then realise that either rescues won't think we've got a suitable set up or things aren't going to work out with Meg cat and it's all going to go horribly wrong but I guess we'll never know unless we try

I know I've not posted pretty much since losing Ollie but I just wanted to say a quick hello Thinks with me are fine - we're still dogless since losing Olls (which feels really strange) and I've not quite got past the point of wanting to burst into tears whenever I speak about him but hopefully that will come with time. We do now have a maniac of a cat called Jasmine - who is just over a year old now (we adopted her last December a couple of months after losing Ollie) but we do still very much have a dog shaped hole in our lives. We've also moved house too since the last time I posted and we're settling in well and have much more space and a larger garden which is lovely Hope all is well with everyone else

We've been having the house valued today and obviously all the agents have been talking about HIPs unsure.gif I've been shocked at the prices they're quoting for them - one agent was asking £399 + VAT and the other £499 + VAT I know when Chris got one done on his flat he paid around £250 I think but he did it with an online company rather than going through the agents (which I think is cheaper) Both agents said that there are loads of untrustworthy online companies offering them whereby you pay and never get a HIP or they take weeks and weeks and weeks (apparently it was on Watchdog or something?) They also said that if you do the HIP through them it comes back in a couple of days and your property gets straight on the market Obviously we don't want a HIP to take weeks and weeks but we also don't want to be ripped off by paying over the odds through an agent when we could potentially get it much cheaper elsewhere Just really wondered if anyone knew much about HIPs or could recommend a company that they'd used that wasn't so expensive?

Aw Alex I'm so so sorry to hear this news - Millie was such a special girl and you did absolutely everything you could for her She was very lucky to have you looking out for her when she needed you

Thanks guys We've been away since Thursday so have only just seen this but I had a lovely day

I've just had a call from the vets this morning and Ollie's ashes are back today and ready to collect so I'm going to go up there and get them at lunch time hopefully . It all feels v. strange indeed

I'm guessing that the vets are going to call me soon to pick up Ollie's ashes and I'm just really wondering what other people have done with their dogs ashes in the past as I'm really not sure of the best thing to do Initially I'd thought I'd sprinkle them on a walk that meant a lot to me with Ollie and a place I knew he loved but then Chris said about waiting until we move house with a bigger garden and plant a tree and bury his ashes with it and then if we ever move to take the tree with us (but not sure how practical that is!) I know other people that have kept their pets ashes at home but I just really don't know what to do and don't want to sprinkle them at the fields and then wish I'd kep them with me Also if anyone knows of any kind of memorials/or things that they did to remember their lost dogs I'd really love to hear about them as I'd love to do something for Ollie. I was thinking maybe a memory box for him or something? I've already got a scrapbook that I made for him a couple of years back with lots of piccies and all his training certificates and rossettes and bits and pieces so I'm glad I've got that. I'm going to go into town later as there's a shop that does canvas prints of your photos so I thought that might be nice but any ideas much appreciated.

Thanks for all the kind words guys they're much appreciated Morag - one of my 'doggy' friends is taking me out for dinner on Saturday night to get me out for a while. I was in London today for work so the change of scene helped but am working from home for the rest of the week which I think will be tougher. I had a card in the post from the vets today that all the vets, nurses and receptionists at the surgery had signed which I thought was lovely but really made me blub - it had a lovely picture of rainbow bridge on the front and a little cat and dog going off together on their journey

I had to add this pic too as I love it...

As lots of you know Ollie went off to the bridge on Tuesday after 5 1/2 amazing years with me - to say I'm heartbroken is an understatement and this really has been the most horrendous week ever but it really has helped so much having the support from everyone and being able to talk to you guys about him so I wanted to say thank you for that as it really has made a huge difference to me I also wanted to share this picture with everyone of my boy - I took this on the first day he came 'home' and it really just does sum him up for me (it didn't take him long to find the tennis balls)........... Olls was my first ever dog and although the pain of losing him is awful I wouldn't trade the time I had with him for anything in the world. Olliedog you really were a dog in a million and there's not another like you little man I was absolutely priviledged to have had you in my life and I count myself very lucky that I found you and for the time that we had together. Night night sweetheart

This week has been such a horrid week with losing Ollie and I really am finding things unbelievably tough sad.gif The house just feels 'wrong' and so so quiet sad.gif I think I'm doing as well as I can be but just keep bursting into tears at random moments and just have an overwhelming feeling of sadness all the time (which I'm guessing is probably quite normal in the circumstances) To make things worse Chris (who's been an absolute rock for me this week) has gone off to the US today for 2 weeks with work sad.gif I've been dreading it all week as I knew I'd be feeling even worse once he'd gone and I was totally on my own. I just feel like I'm wandering round the house at a loss with what to do with myself and I don't think I've been 'alone' in the house totally for about 10 years as even before having Ollie I had the cats with me. I know I need to keep myself busy with something and am actually looking forward to work tomorrow, all the housework and washing is done but it just feels so wrong without Olls to chat to and cuddle It doesn't feel 'normal' not doing the whole daily routine of feeding, walking, cuddling - I'm missing the things that drove me crazy like finding dog hairs in my dinner and Olls barking 184 times when someone down the road shuts a car door. When the fireworks were going off last night I kept leaping up myself as I know how much Olls hated the bloomin' things. I know I need something to focus on to give me a purpose and try and pull myself out of getting too sad but I don't even feel like I want to

Just wanted to say that I'm home and everything went as well as it could. I managed to feed him treats while the vet was getting him ready so I'm hoping that means that he wasn't too distressed and chomping on Fish4Dogs was his last memory in true Ollie fashion It all seemed to happen very quickly and peacefully for which I am very thankful and I honestly don't know how I'd have managed without everyone's messages today - it really does mean a great deal. I think it's going to take a long while for the reality of what has happened to sink in though.

We're off to the vets at 4pm - any good thoughts muchly appreciated. I still don't know how I'm going to make it yet