riley

Seriuosly Mrs, if you and melup fancy a few cheeky gins one night from the 3rd to the 12th April you would be most welcome Riley friendly hounds accepted.

I am embarrassed by the joke I just posted in fun stuff . I need to go to a party................maybe I should just have one whilst H is away

The pope had become very ill and was taken to many doctors, all of whom could not figure out how to cure him. Finally he was brought to an old physician, who stated that he could figure it out. After about an hour's examination he came out and told the cardinals that he knew what was wrong. He said that the bad news was that it was a rare disorder of the testicles. He said that the goods news was that all the pope had to do to be cured was to have sex. Well, this was not good news to the cardinals, who argued about it at length. Finally they went to the pope with the doctor and explained the situation. After some thought, the pope stated, "I agree, but under four conditions." The cardinals were amazed and there arose quite an uproar. Over all of the noise there arose a single voice that asked, "And what are the four conditions?" The room stilled. There was a long pause... The pope replied, "First the girl must be blind, so that she cannot see whom she is having sex." "Second, she must be deaf, so that she cannot hear with whom she is having sex." "Third she must be dumb so that if somehow she figures out with who she is having sex, she can tell no one." After another long pause a voice arose and asked, "And the fourth condition?" "Big tits" replied the Pope.

Or to tease Riley in a *poltergeist* voice about being on the bed....

Apparantky it is *not* amusing to burp loudly down the two way baby monitor when t'hubs is feeding the small

Just be careful, if they do try and deliver it don't accept it otherwise you'll be stuck with it (depending on the company, but believe me there are an awful lots of dodgy ones about) and often time it's not even an upgrade but a new connection (additional) and by the time you realise you're stuck..... Why thank you And huge congratulations to you xxxxxx * (it's when they can't get the baby out so they give you a helping hand with a pair of scissors )

Oh bugger Just remembered I'm off to the docs tomorrow for my foof looking at - I don't wannnnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaa goooooooooooooooooooooooooo I lost all modesty in the delivery suite but hell fire it's back with vengence The wprst thing is *I* didnt even know I'd had an episiostomy 'til they told me last week

Afternnon all. I've hurt my back lifting my hefter of a baby and being yanked round a field by a frisky Greyhound. Any Baby Pheobejo news yet? Lovely news about Anne and Martin

Laura it's stunning. Does anyone know where I can find someone to do a naming ceremony? We don't want to get him christened as neither of us attend church but we do feel we should *do* something. I'm thinking along the lines of handfasting but don't know the baby naming/blessing equivalent....

Eee-vern-ink Melarneeeeeeeee - I shall go to Boots tomorrow and ask for summat in a clear jar with a white lid Anne, I'm not sure about the advert - I shall listen more closely next time Amanda x (wanders off wondering how to bring the conversation back round to excretions and secretions )

Poo Snot Spewk Secretions And the word "Moist" to you Mrs OOook RMF One in five women are let down by their sanitary towels. I just heard that on the telly. Seemed appropriate.

waaahhaaahaaa Now I can cope with the finger up as it's, er, 'contained' it's the pulling it out and examining of it or the *eating* of it that really gets me..... Mrs Pops, and BC, thank you x

40-ish...................................49 Adventurous........................Slept with everyone Athletic...............................No tits Average looking...................Ugly Beautiful...........................Pathological liar Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills Emotionally Secure..............On medication Feminist.............................Fat Free spirit...........................Junkie Friendship first..................Former slut Fun...................................Annoying New-Age..........................Body hair in the wrong places Old-fashioned....................No BJs Open-minded......................Desperate Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing Passionate.......................Sloppy drunk Professional......................Bitch Voluptuous......................Very Fat Large frame......................Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate..................Stalker

Speeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwkkkkkkkkkkkkkk I have never heard the term "number 11" before - made me

Jack has a stinklser of a cold. Healing thoughts for Shorty White please.... I can do poo/pee/sick/blood of human and canine variety but I *CANNOT* do Snot/Phlegm or Mucas so far today I have gagged 4 times - its that snooky sound or indeed the bogies that fly out when he sneezes or even the ruttling death rattle that comes when he's laid down. What's worst is I can't give him anything to help as he's too teeny.

Most pissed off. Husband has just announced he is away on business for eleven days at the beginning of April. I am used to him being away but this will be the first time I have been left with a baby. Jack will be 9 weeks old and although H doesnt *do* much it's just nice to have him around.

The baby is asleep (ish) I am having a large glass of wine. I *need* a tshirt and /or car sticker with the "why breed or buy..." statement on it - anyone any ideas where from? I *need* to go through RMF - especially to find out about the pan... Today whilst walking Riles we were accosted by a small elderly gentlemen shouting "Trap three! Trap three!" He then accompanied us a little way on out walk and before we parted company he asked "may I touch it?" I said yes, (thank God he meant Riley) he promtly tapped him sharply three times on the head and wandered off.

*BurrrrrrrrrrrrP* Sorry bout that How is everyone? I'm going to try and catch up tonight although we've moved jacksplat into his cot and his is registreing his protest VERY vocally...

When it's really cold - do you light it?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Baby in bed. CURRY TIME Thank yo Ms Kats Inc, - may just take you up on that

Oddly, I was thinking of texting you this morning - maybe we should've just done it off to bath "splatt" aka the amazingly colicky baby

Hello This is the first time I have been able to get near the pc in heaven knows how long I hope all is good with those I know and with those I don't. I have no clue about anytthing. I'm only here now cos H is home in time for a feed. Currently my days look like this:- Riley 2 hours (this is my peaceful time) Jack 16 Hours House and Food 2 hours Sleep 4 hours I am officially wacked. The baby blues are lifting - but that could be the wine

Round here it's a foof, a friend calls hers a minky moo and another her Badger