riley

She's a very *special * lady Taking myself off to bed, Nite all

pleasure - what's up?

Her best one so far was telling me to "put a brush through your hair and some lipstick on before Howard gets home on an evening - I'm only telling you this for your own good, there are plenty women out there who he deals with who are very pretty and no-one wants to look at a mess" This was about 10 days after I'd had Jack.

An Irishman walks into a bar in Ireland orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; wouldn't you rather I draw fresh pints for you one at a time?" The fellow replies: "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is now in America and the other, in Australia. When we all left home, we promised we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The fellow becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the regulars notice and fall silent, speculating about what might have happened to one of the absent brothers. When the fellow goes back to the bar for a second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The fellow looks confused for a moment and then a light dawns in his eye and says: "Oh, no, everyone's fine. You see, it's just that I've given up beer for Lent."

cheers - I failed at that too

I have just eaten two bags of revels whilst waiting for the baby's bottles to cool. I feel sick. Evidently the diet is out of the window for another week Did I mention we'd been to H's mum's for lunch on mothers day with the rest of his family and she gave me one roast potato, one Yorkshire pud and a desert spoon of each veg with the following comment "I havent given you much as I know you're watching your weight" For reference - this is me, I'm probably about a stone and a half heavier now as I'm post baby (and eating two bags of revels in one sitting washed down with a large glass of vino blanco) but bearing in mind she knows I used to have a massive eating disorder (my front teeth are veneered from making myself upchuck) you think she'd be a bit more forgiving

sorry I've missed so much so however there's going to be a bumby patio chez White if my mothers heating is not fixed soon

I've just put baby poo on my nose - think yourself lucky

Morning all Kathy - hair of the dog? How's Lisa?

Just had "discussion" with brother. He may have paid for mums house but at the end of the day, he'll get a return on his investment, sadly I am paying with my time and you don't get a return on that. He does nothing. Doesnt visit or have her down unless I ask (weeks in advance) and then I have to really moan. Gawd, don't get me wrong (there's the Catholic guilt kicking in) I love her but she's *HARD* work.

Jeeeeez -Mrs squirrel, was that Gertie???? I can't form sentences - you're a super person

magazine

Oh no. I know - sorry! and thank you

Still, I hope Melpoo has peed - or is that the other way round I hope MrsOOOK (one must respect one's elders ((I am *so* gonna get a boot)) ) has had a fantabulous birthday. and I hope you all have a goodnights sleep/ MrsGdog work still a grumpy Fcooker tho

Ta But I'm still monsterously p*ssed off

I am grumpy. Veeerrrrrry grumpy.

blemish

Back from the vets with Clouseau Hound, thankfully he's had his bandage off and now only has to wear a sock and cover when we're out, however..................... Getting out of the car he caught his leg against the seat mechanism and took out a strip of fur and skin and whilst waiting in the vet to be seen, he got himself wedged under a radiator and it took me and a veterinary nurse to get him free

Wishing Mrs Ooook a wonderful day, Off for my hair doing - I may come back with highlights to prevent me continuing to look like Wednesday Adams

Bed is calling. Husband in Lap Dancing Bar with clients .............may start thread in controversial.................

RMF Just gave Riley the remainder of Mum's Hawaiian Pizza and he found it most acceptable Gave him the remainder of my Margerhita and he gobbed it all over the floor

Pffft - I'm at the hairdresser in the am and Riles is at the vet in the pm - pick a day next week and Im all yours - I'll even bring sarnies and me wellies

It's your age (love yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo) Speaking of which - your card will be late 'cos the tw*tty postman wouldnt wait for me Congrats Anne and Martin And Congrats Clare - sorry missed that bit!x

Cindy, Can't stop, just off to take Rigletsquiglet for a walk but wante to share RM mum quote of the day " I wouldn't want another fella even if he farted gold coins"

Which Amanda needs to do for her sanity