Samjam

OMG !!

Have been sent a link to these videos this evening. I think the sand pictures she is doing are absolutely brilliant. Have a look and see what you think. Video Click Here.

That is just soooo funny. Especially when you remember doing some of them.

A couple go on a holiday at a lovely lake resort. One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment.For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with se*ual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden indignantly. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Being a bit of an ebay freak Ange its fine to let people know your reserve price, its completely the sellers choice, as to whether they disclose it or not. The reserve price is purely for you to set a minimum amount for what you would accept for the item.

Have you tried pricking them incase its just a wind build up. Failing that apply for Big Brother.

toes

Summer 2006 is finally here. To celebrate this many supermarket stores are giving away free barbecues to all that can go and collect them whilst stocks last. You can get a free BBQ from any of the following stores. · ASDA · Morrison's · Costco · Kwik Save · Somerfield · Aldi · Sainsbury · Tesco · Iceland · Netto All BBQs come with a higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm! PLEASE NOTE: Some stores may charge a £1 administration fee.

A couple are having dinner at a restaurant and the husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." "Yes," she says, "I remember it well." "Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!" There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching, thinks, "This was truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is." As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?" The old man says, "Fifty years ago, that wasn't an electric fence"

What a beautiful memorial for what was so obviously a very special girl.

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7) 4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) 5) A dolphin breaths through an a****** on the top of its head. (Billy age 8) 6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6) 7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7) 8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) 9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) 10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7) 11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6) 12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8) 13) On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7)

Sexy Geek who gives great head.

OOO-EERRRR 366MPH...guess that makes me a right spanker.

Crash Helmet

fire

saddle

I am a Terrier C'mere boy; in your former life you were a terrier named Tetley who hailed from the Yorkshire Moors. The cutest puppy on the entire farm, you were so adored that the Wetherby Cricket Club chose you to be their mascot. You absolutely loved the attention; your duty of barking while your team clapped in, the new batsmen; the opportunity to find lost cricket balls and most of all the sumptuous teas between innings. Unfortunately, you fell out of favour when your sister gave birth to Illingworth, a snot-nosed young pup who used to walk on his back legs for attention. As Illingworth's popularity grew, the team began to neglect you. They also started to tell you to "shut tha' mouth" when you barked at interesting moments in the game. They started to give Illingworth the best scraps from the tea and they banished you to the kitchen when you bit the wicketkeeper's mother. After much moping and grieving, you decided to be happy for little Illingworth. So, armed with your new contentment, you found it in yourself to support him and the Wetherby Cricket Club from the sanctuary of the kitchen. You didn't see much cricket but you certainly got your fair share of scraps!

For those who have children at this age - this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children - this is a form of birth control! The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:- "Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):" 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 bedroom house about 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then run over it with roller skates / blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a large room. 5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is on, using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can then hit a ball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Bleach makes smoke, and lots of it. 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain bits of Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jelly. 15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when driving and very expensive to remove. 18. You probably do not want to know what that smell really is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The average response time for the fire brigade is about 20 minutes. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing thing. True story: One day the infant school teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read," ..And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy Fxxxxx! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 23. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach and brake fluid.

Dont post much, but think this is a fabulous idea Have donated.