Alison

Save the bother of starting a new thread and just name names in the Ritual Burning one

Consider yourself fortunate that it's not the Inland Revenue you're dealing with - same thing happened to me with them some years ago; I had to pay a large lump sum for what they freely admitted was their mistake and then receive a paltry amount back each month as a refund though my tax code! Those @!$$$~ can repossess your house or send you to prison even when they're in the wrong then come up with totally unreasonable/unacceptable "solutions" (i.e. completely skinting and scaring the life out of me)

........with a gimp-masked effigy at least

Edited to add another sick smiley but it wouldn't let me

More than happy to take you to The Flying Childers to drown your sorrows when I've finished work if it'd help Sol's here with me today, getting used to being called "Solo" by explosive hair man.

As long as there's "room at the inn" for everyone, what does it matter?

Explosives For Hair........ What we all imagined would be hairspray turned out to be a lorry load of car airbags

Three!

My boss, whose command of the English language (or any other for that matter) is not good has just announced that a lorry will be arriving shortly with a cargo of "explosives for hair". He means hairspray but the image it's conjured up has got us all falling about here.

Just unbelievable. It also seems OK for adverts to exhort us to start the day with a bowl of sugary cereal and to promote fast additive-filled fatty foods like burgers and pizza. As a mark of protest I and everyone in my office have had scrambled egg on toast for elevenses - and it was heavenly!

Yes, that Alison How're you getting on with your posh wellies?

Didn't understand any of this, sorry. I am only 5'2 and my legs are in proportion, just skinny - it must be an optical illusion.

Unfortunately I’m never likely to appeal to the kind of man who has a penchant for overdressed or ample-breasted wimmin Maybe I stand a better chance with more clothes, a chicken fillet-stuffed bra and a handsome dog at my side? (and an even better one if I had a face/body transplant and that purse in my right hand was full!) I’m new, not very regular here and terminally bewildered at the best of times. I’ve no idea what this thread is all about but if it’s intended as a means to help you find your dream girl – good luck Scooby Dobie! Edited to say that I've just noticed that most people have posted stats; I'm 5' 2" with embarrasingly small feet and vital statistics too pathetic to mention

Just got back from taking Sol to the vet - barley seed in his eye. He seems fine now, just got to put Fucithalmic drops in for the next few days to be sure there's nothing else in there and to ward against infection for the scratch it left on his eyeball.

No, I hadn't been doing that but will now - many thanks for the info. Sweet dreams Hope that the forthcoming week brings you good things

Can anyone tell me how to read messages in my "sent" box? A random happy snap I took at White Lodge this morning - Mary, Emma and Miss Giggles. I've leave you to guess who is who One of them is looking for a home. Night night

She's so tiny and quiet you could slip her into your pocket and hardly know she's there! It'd only be like having 3-and-a-bit dawgs Seriously though, I found myself newly single a couple of years ago with 2 very energetic oldies to look after and it was very, very tough. All the dogs who ever pass through WL luff you though Claire so she's not the first, definitely won't be the last and it's hard to imagine that she'll be looking for a home for long unlike some of the less ostensibly attractive (but equally lovely) souls. My advice, for what it's worth, would be to wait and see what fate decrees; you'll know the right decision to make without thinking about it. Edited to say that I only know Melp by reputation (i.e. here, Clazuk et al - all good press as you can imagine) but I'm surprised she didn't seize the opportunity of the party theme to dress in the uniform of the First Aid Nursing Yeomanry and be a FANY for the night

Mum and Dad are away on holiday but he packed his Father's Day card to take with him. He phoned this morning to say thank you with a rhyme he used to read to me when I was about 3, at about this time of year when the strawberries were at their best - it didn't half take me down memory lane! Curly Locks, Curly Locks, whilst thou be mine? Thou shalt not wash dishes nor yet feed the swine But sit on a cushion and sew a fine seam And dine upon strawberries, sugar and cream Has anyone else ever heard it?

On an even more positive note, he's actually 85 not a mere callow youth of of 82!

If in doubt, wear him out eh? Sounds like a useful cunning plan I don't know if you've ever heard of The Guinea Pig Club but if you click on the link, this is him. He had pioneering experimental reconstructive surgery after he was badly injured and burned when he was a pilot during the war. http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,1945038,00.html

Being 85, "honourable" and "conventional", it's marriage or nothing; living together would be out of the question. I know that he's at least a once in the morning and twice a night man without the need for viagra so no hope of gritting my teeth once a month, closing my eyes and pretending he's Alain Delon, unfortunately

Despite the fact that he's 85 (I'm 42) his ego and identity are very much bound up with virility and sexual prowess. Perhaps I could just marry him and lay back and think of England every now and then? I could almost cope with that but I suspect that he'd want to "perform" far more often than that, probably even more than once a day But........everything else is so right

Sums up my dilemma perfectly.........I do love guy dearly and have done for the last 10 years but just don't fancy him. He wants to marry me (proposed again today) and I know that life would be absolutely idyllic apart from "that".

mmmkay, here goes............. Pity sex - should I or shouldn't I? (do it)

Do you know the Peggy Lee song "Is That All There Is?" I was very concerned to find myself feeling just like that after my first degree but things were very different when I acquired my D.Phil; the world was suddenly awash with nice academic "work from home" job offers and still is. Go for it! I swear by this stuff, it really works a treat. If this link doesn't take you there it's a product called Foxi. http://www.fringesrugs.co.uk/foxi.htm Hugs to KathyW and her mum Because your colleague is an inconsiderate knob. Put a square of laxative chocolate in her coffee next time you're at work You KNOW when an egg is unfit to eat the moment you crack it - take it from a gannet who regularly eats them up to 3 months out of date and hasn't had a tummy upset for 35 years. Meringues are actually much better made from old eggs BTW. A random/gratuitous photo from this morning of a poopie I've nicknamed Siu Timtim, the Japanese for "Little Sweetie". You know who to contact for details I'm going to post again in a moment on a matter of great (though not urgent) import...............plucking up the courage coz I'm new here and shy