[Fuming]

Thanks everyone. Lyndsay, you said to remind you about the anxiety program-thingy for Ty?

 

Ive got my very serene head on now, so I want to explain a few things before I go, or I,ll forget and use the wrong words again. I seem to be having a lot of problems putting things into the right words lately and it comes out all bass-ackwards.

 

Raiye, It did seem as if I was snapping at you didnt it? Im sorry. I really wasnt saying it and feeling snappy, I was just typing as I thought, I felt sad and a bit emotional and my choice of words couldve been better.

 

Di, when I said "I dont care if people agree with me or not", I wasnt being sarcastic or arguing with you. I meant I didnt care that people disagreed with me, as in "I wont get upset if views arnt the same as mine", and accept we dont have to all agree, type of thing. Again, I used the wrong phrase, so it wouldve looked like I was basically saying "I dont give a s***, Im right". Maybe I shoudve said I dont mind , not I dont care. It was easy to misread that, and Im sorry.

 

And Jacobean, I used the words "bad tempered cow", I know you didnt say it, I never said you did, and I was being flippant and making a joke of it when I posted that and used the smilies, I was in a better mood by then and tried to be light-hearted, obviously it didnt come across that way, with hindsight I can see why it would look bad.

 

I,ll admit to feeling a bit defensive when you said I keep arguing in front of Ty, because as anyone that comes to the house will testify, Tyra is a very calm and happy little girl in the house, very relaxed and chilled, its only outside she gets scared, and I do put her first, so it stung a bit for you to imply otherwise. But I was genuine when I posted saying I didnt mean to upset you, and Im genuine now when I say Im sorry. I would never throw anyones advice back in their face, not intentionally, god knows Ive needed enough of it over the years

 

I think, like anyone whose passionate about something, I can feel slighted if I think someone is criticizing something that Ive worked very hard at, and I have worked hard with Ty. Its bloody hard having a dog like Tyra a lot of the time, lots of you have experience of that so know what I mean, and sometimes little throw-away remarks can cause a lot of self-doubt. (Just as things Ive written on this thread has been misunderstood, so have the things some of you wrote, we all get misunderstood, or misunderstand others) Thats no excuse for me just typing away and not thinking how it will read to others though, I can be a stupid cow when I try to be

 

Im going to leave Ty in for a few days, maybe even untill the weekend, so she doesnt have to deal with anything alien or scary to her, she,ll let me know when shes ready to brave it

 

Thanks everyone.

[Fuming]

Only just read this Brigette. Firstly chill out yourself. Put on some music and get a drink. (tea of course) I wouldnt force Ty to go out if she doesnt want to now, but try 'teasing' her out with George maybe tomorrow. Don't make a big deal of things. If she doesnt want to go, walk George round the block and back again. I wouldnt contemplate the car right now, knowing a little of Tys history, it may be too much. Just focus on getting her back out, then you can move onto walking upto and past the car, then open the door of the car and walk past etc, etc. (you know how it goes by now) It doesnt matter a damn what other people think of you and how you deal with Ty's issues. You are the only one who REALLY knows her and what her little quirks are and how she is likely to respond to things. Go with your gut instinct! Listen to her! Have confidence in yourself.

 

Thanks Andrea.

 

Im sorry everyone.

[Fuming]

I guess I'm one of those labelled with calling you a bad tempered cow which in fact I haven't. I'm trying to say to you that any emotions you feel your dog will pick up on whether you like it or not. If you take that on board it will help her in the future. You have posted 3 threads in the last week as you have been het up about things. If you are displaying emotions in the home Ty will pick up on it.

 

I wouldn't have been too happy with the friend either. But the dog comes first and if one of mine had a stress problem I would deal with the friend separately. Maybe go round to her house and have it out with her if I felt the need.

 

I'm not accusing you of anything. I am trying to offer advice and support. If you're going to chuck it back in my face I shan't bother mate. I have been there and back with sensitive, stressed out dogs and was just trying to help.

 

No, please dont feel like that!! I didnt say you "said" that, I said that was how I felt! Im not throwing anything in your face . You did say I should stop arguing in front of Ty though, it implied I do it all the time, but you never said I was a bad tempered cow, that was MY words??

[Fuming]

Hey bebe, first of all, I SO recognise that last sentence! Malcolm is now well established royalty, who takes everything in his stride ("yes, I know that I shouldn't have belted off and eaten that rotting take away leftover, but I happen to like it. And your point is???"). Kiera on the other hand can still drive me completely up the wall and make me despair: I've been trying so hard to raise her well into a well behaved missus, but whenever she causes trouble I feel like I'm failing her. Oh the joys of having dogs!

 

As far as Ty's fears of the car and going out right now: I'm sure it's been somewhere on the Refuge that I've read that it can take a dog 3 days to calm down from a stressful event, so to be honest with you, I wouldn't even try today. Just try and be as normal in the house as you'd be normally (I'm pretty sure you've not quite calmed down yourself yet, and she's going to sense that no end). So behaviour that you'd normally wouldn't tolerate, like having a go at George, I wouldn't tolerate now either. I'd say if she comes to you for a cuddle then fine, but if she's not, then just let her be.

Maybe tomorrow start off with showing her that the "car is good", maybe involving George, by calling him to the car and giving him a treat, so that she can watch his behaviour?

 

Malcolm used to be scared of absolutely everything as well, and I have to admit I've treated it pretty much 'old school' then, a) because I didn't know any better (I asked Jan Fennell, but she wanted a minimum of £300 before she could even reply to an email! ) and b)I was too dependent on other people helping me out with his care as well. I couldn't have a dog who would only go out with me if the time was right or he would be spending his life in a tiny room. A good 5 years on and Malcolm is the abovementioned "established royalty" - and the good news is it didn't take him 5 years to get there! I'm not advocating old school training methods btw, just wanted to give an example of a dog who's very much come through it Like the "supernanny" we have a "naughty lead" for any dog who finds themselves breaking the rules of good behaviour and Malcolm has found himself on it more than once!

 

Good luck with Ty and let us know how you get on

 

sorry Billy, crossposting then.

 

pmsl at the "naughty lead"...a very interesting post, thanks. Am much calmer now, and George and Ty are playing tuggy, so she must be feeling ok.

[Fuming]

Thanks Marion And everyone whose tried to make me feel a bit better, I guess none of us know how we,d react in this situation. I feel like some people think Im a bad tempered cow whose always arguing and never calm, a nervous wreck who would do be tter by Ty if I wasnt under-confident and over-protective and stopped being a violent big mouth!

 

Im NOT!! .......Am I? Oh god...am I?? Im worried now..

 

 

Sorry..couldnt resist.

[I Am Offically ..... Insane]

He is stunning. And saw you coming Im falling for pointies more and more, they do have a special gentleness about them dont they?

 

You cant fight fate...it was obviously meant to be and he was waiting for you

[Fuming]

She froze at the front door

 

So I just sat on the doorstep, I didnt want to "force" it, but at the same time I didnt want to just go back inside, Ty eventually stepped out into the front garden,I clicked her the second a paw went over the threshold , but she didnt want the cheese, (she doesnt take treats if shes stressed) and again everytime she took a step nearer the gate, so after a few minutes I opened the gate a little, but that was a step too far for Ty and she ran back to the front door. We came in then, I dont know if that was the right thing to do ? but I felt she,d done well to be out there for that amount of time.

 

I,ll do the same again in a few hours I think, and build up gradually to going outside of the gate and then tackle the car when we,ve got that far. I do want to show her Im confidant, but Im afraid if I push her she,ll go back to how she was a few months ago when she wouldnt even go out the front door. So Im not sure if Im doing the right thing or not??

 

Im concerned that Im not doing the right thing, but its a fine line to tread between being "over-protective", and too forcefull? Taking on board that my friend, and some of you think Im possibly treating her with kid-gloves too much, Im wary of doing either. It took a long long time for Ty to get where she is now, and seeing her like this now does make me a bit mad with my friend, I admit. Its so bloody hard to know what can be too much or too little, to help Ty. I do listen to you all, and it has "gone in" that I might have inadvertantly caused Tys problems, and I feel very bad about that, it makes me doubt myself, but I want to put things right and Im trying.

[Fuming]

Thanks everyone. I am taking on board all your suggestions and comments. I appreciate ALL views, and Id like to respond to some

 

If you keep yourself calm and stop having arguments with people infront of Ty that could go a long way to her feeling calm herself.

 

I dont keep having arguments in front of Ty , I dont argue often with anyone fullstop, yet alone in front of the dogs. Wanted to clear that up as it makes me sound like a raving lunatic whose ranting all the time.

 

 

Have to say i dont think id ever trust that particular friend again with one of my dogs if she thinks it doesnt matter if a dog is badly frightened but thats just me.

 

Em I wouldnt ever trust her alone with Ty. Shes a good friend but seems very cold where dogs are concerned. She sent one of her own dogs (now at the bridge) to Royvon residential training school, while she went to Greece, to be trained "properly". She keeps saying Ty should go there . I can imagine Ty in a place like that, and the damage it would cause her!

 

Pam I dont think Im a particularly unconfident owner, although I do wish I had a bit more confidence. I think if it was about the way Ive brought Ty up, then George would be the same, and he,s definately not, he,s a bolshy bugger . I think my confidence has worsened because of Tys problems, but I very much hope I havnt caused them? If I have, then I feel terrible.

 

 

edited cos I hit send before I meant to..

 

Thanks to all of you. Im going to try the car thing, slowley, in a minute, Ive got lots of cheese (tys favorite,) and have just put her body wrap on and given her some Anxiety drops, so I,ll let you know how we go.

[Fuming]

I wasnt snapping at Raiye. I also dont care if people agree with me or not , I asked for advice about getting Ty back into the car. Raiyes post wasnt offering advice, but was a bit condesending. I couldnt really see the point in posting it tbh. But I am sorry if I came across as snapping, I didnt feel "snappy" , just sad.

 

Ive already spoken to my friend. Just for the record, she is very aware of Tys problems, and is a dog owner herself. Shes very "old school" in her approach to dogs though, they arnt members of the family, theyre just dogs, so she doesnt agree with a lot of the way I deal with Ty, she thinks I should stop treating her with kid-gloves and be her "boss" , so she was aware that having Ty in the car would scare her, I shouldve been clearer about that. Ive apologised, she accepted, then told me I owe her 3 quid for the carwash

 

Thanks to those of you who have given me advice. Thats all I wanted.

[Fuming]

Im sure the ranting and raving and bad atmosphere also helped make a bad association with out doors and the car.

I would let her take refuge under the bed so she can at least get some sort of normal heart rate back.

 

Most of the ranting and stuff was outside of the house when we got back. Ty was already inside, Id taken her in when I went to get my mates car keys off the table.

 

Thanks for making me feel a lot worse though

[Fuming]

Had to calm down before I came and posted this, the bad language filter wouldve blown up.

 

I had to take Ty to the vets this morning for a check up, just to see how shes getting on with the clomicalm (no difference at all, waste of money I think), and last night I hurt my back again so cant really turn to drive, my mate was here and said she,d drive me in my car today, so Ty could be safe in the boot behind the guard...anyway, we get to the vets (Ty already scared) and I go in to tell them we,re here, then wait out in the car with her so shes not in a tiny room with other dogs. We go in eventually, Ty has her check-up, told shes fine etc, and I take her back out to the car to stay with my mate while I go back in a pay for another course of clomicalm (last one, if this doesnt work, thats it).

 

Im waiting quite a while, its busy, and when I go outside, my cars gone

I couldnt work out what was going on...I didnt have my phone with me so I couldnt even ring my mate to ask why she,d stolen my car and my baby

 

A few more minutes goes by, then she drives around the corner, I said "where have you been? I was worried!" but as soon as the words were out, I could see where she,d been. To the drive-through carwash . She thought my car was filthy so did it as a favour. I quickly rushed to open the boot to see Ty, and my god was she in a state Shaking, cowered in the corner of the boot, tail and head low, and panting. She was terrified

 

I asked my mate why didnt she consider that Ty was in the car, she knows how sensitive she is about everything, it mustve been like a nightmare for her stuck in there while all these brushes and noises and water was going all over the place! I said it was a really stupid thing to do, what was she thinking? She said I was over-reacting, and that Ty is scared of "everything anyway"

 

We had a major fall out and when we got home she didnt even come in, she just got in her car and drove off.

 

Ty has been in a state since we got back., Shes very agitated, keeps trying to get under the bed, and has gone for george twice. And its yet another negative thing to associate going outside with, plus the vets. And even worse, she,ll probably associate being in the car with bad stuff now too! I feel so so sorry for her, poor little girl.

 

But now Im not only fuming, but feeling bad for my friend. She was trying to do me a favour, and I ended up shouting and almost hit her . Im still really angry, for Tys sake, but maybe I did over-react? And I dont know where to go from here to help Ty. Should I try her back in the car soon, or leave it for a while? Should I try to walk her, or not? Ive got to handle this right, otherwise the one thing she can do without fear (ride in the car) is going to be ruined too. Any advice please

[An Angel Needs A Helping Hand.]

Just to let you know Lynne that I havnt forgot, still trying to sort out paypal probs

[Terrible Dogs.]

And very norty He rolled in a huge pile of fresh horse manure today. Then as I was trying to pull him away, he ate some too! Then sicked it back up in the car on the way home.

[Still Feeding Bakers?]

kats n greys

 

 

 

I posted a while back about the man with the Rhodesian Ridgeback who was feeding Bakers, the dog had a horrible skin complaint and was hyper, I told him it was likely the Bakers doing it and he said he,d take Zac straight off it.

I saw him a few days ago, Zacs skin complaint is gone, and I mean totally, and he,s a lot calmer, he,s feeding him Autarky now. (now all Ive got to do is convert him to barf )

 

Another dog owner I know feeds Bakers and his dog is totally menthol but he wont listen, says Bakers is a good food

[When Things Go Wrong.....with Your Body!]

Ty caught my finger instead of the tuggy toy

 

 

Its worse than it looks

 

 

It is and Im not being a baby.

[Terrible Dogs.]

Ty!! My favourite staffy girlie Why is she not wearing pink? All princesses have to wear pink!

 

Can we have a better one of George please? We can't see his face very well in the bottom one.

 

Here you go...

 

 

[What Could This Be?]

George does it too, I know its scary if you dont know what it is, I thought George was having a heart attack or asthma or something when I first saw him do it, I rushed him to the vets in a right panic , the vet said it was reverse sneezing and is very common. He did it this morning actually, I just rub his throat and wait for it to stop. Funnily enough Tyra has never done it, I wonder if its larger breeds that only do it?

 

Anyway, I wouldnt worry about it at all, George has been doing it for years and he,s fine

[Love Walk Today - Thank You Sueb, Hugo & Vicky]

Pics please

[An Angel Needs A Helping Hand.]

Shes adorable

 

Im having a few probs logging into paypal , but I havnt forgotten her, I,ll send it off tonight

[Another Day, Another Dollar?]

How can people do this? They are just babies.

 

So glad they are safe now

[An Angel Needs A Helping Hand.]

And from me. I hope little Angel makes it

[Dylan]

Better that than just steps backwards Kazz. The forward steps will get more frequent. Thinking of you

[Look What Just Arrived,i Was In Bed!]

awww, how cute are they! bless em

[Terrible Dogs.]

Hmm has anyone moved into Marik's new house yet.

 

 

 

Kazz xx

 

The new builder

 

 

Im disturbed to see that the rubber chicken appears to actually be bleeding.............

 

Thats the remains of a red ball

 

 

not stuck on the bog again were you

 

yes

Ty!! My favourite staffy girlie Why is she not wearing pink? All princesses have to wear pink!

 

Can we have a better one of George please? We can't see his face very well in the bottom one.

 

Is that a veiled reference to her Pink tweed coat with the pearl buttons that she had on when you saw her at Angelas, Andrea?

 

I havnt got a camera at the moment I broke it, so all photos are taken on my crappy mobile phone, thats why theyre so rubbish, but I,ll try

[Aggie, Bert & Cassie]

omg Helen, what a lovely place to walk!

 

Stunning dogs you have, Im jelouse