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JulesB

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Posts posted by JulesB

  11. Please Can I Ask For Some Reiki/good Thoughts

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    My beautiful, amazing mum died on Christmas Eve morning.

     

    My sister and brother and I stayed at the hospital for a week taking it in turns to sleep so we could be at her bedside 24/7, while she tried to fight off a chest infection she picked up following chemo when her immunity was low, but although the docs threw everything they had at it, in the end she just had nothing left to fight with.

     

    When she was diagnosed we had promised her we were all in it together and would be by her side no matter what. We were lucky to have a few days where she could speak a little and squeeze our hands so we all got to say the things that needed to be said. It was an absolute privilege to wash her and care for her in the last days, and to be there while she took her last breath and slipped away. Goodnight god bless mum. x

  13. Please Can I Ask For Some Reiki/good Thoughts

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    Michaela, how are you doing at the minute? I think of you often and send you a big cyber-hug :GroupHug:

     

    I'm also in East Yorkshire. I didn't meet the MacMillan nurses myself but they are certainly there. The hospice I referred to is Dove House & they have day units, support for carers etc as well as ultimately in patient care. http://www.dovehouse.org.uk/

    Thanks for the link Ian. Mum is going for a look round Dove House next week.

     

    If there is a hospice near her it would be worth seeing if she could go for day care - my mother goes once a week, she gets lunch, she joins in the craft sessions and most importantly (dad has Alzheimers and is almost deaf) she gets people to chat with - not just about her illness.

     

    She was in a bit of a state when the MacMillan nurse asked her about whether she wanted to be in the hospice or at home when her time was up but now she realises that they ask that at the very start so the patient's wishes are known and the matter can then be discretely dropped rather than asking someone who only has days left. She was also worried about being referred to the hospice despite us going to visit and being told about the day care - but now she has been, and has also seen people who stay in for a few days then go home again she is far more relaxed about it.

     

    I have to say the care and empathy she has received is fantastic - she is in her 80s, she has a serious lung problem, a pacemaker and now cancer in her bones and breast, but from the consultants to the nursing staff everyone has made her feel valued, taken time out to discuss things with her (and allowed for the fact she is a fractious old woman as I know from experience!!!)

    Mum's GP has now also asked what she wants to happen at the end. The cancer is stage four and more aggressive than they first thought. She's got a lovely consultant, has had her first chemo and not been too bad with side effects, and I've been doing a bit better the last few weeks basically by pretending it's not happening, but this hospice thing has just set me off falling apart again. I'm sure you're right and it's just the way they always go about it but it's such a hard conversation to have. How is your mum doing at the moment? :GroupHug:

  16. The Chicken Thread.

    in Animal Chat

    Posted

    I've just found Peggy, the last of my three little ex-bat girls, dead. After being off colour and having a trip to the vet a few months ago she's been as bright as a button, and she was fine an hour ago when I put some sweetcorn out. She was just laid on her side outside the run and still warm, so she must have just dropped dead. I am in floods of tears over her :mecry:

  17. Please Can I Ask For Some Reiki/good Thoughts

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    My mum died last saturday from bone & liver cancer so I do have some idea of what you are going through. It's the most horrible thing in the world and my heart goes out to you.

    Michaela, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mum :mecry:

    Thank you for your good wishes, especially at a time when things must be so raw for you. I am holding you in my thoughts and sending you a big :GroupHug:

  19. Please Can I Ask For Some Reiki/good Thoughts

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    Thanks so much for the good wishes everyone. It's very sobering to read about other people's experiences, both the positive and the not so good. I feel like we are in a lottery at the moment so it really helps to know that people are rooting for my mum and we are not on our own.

     

    I'll look into whether there are any support groups local to her, she's in East Yorkshire, between Beverley and Hull.

     

    Snow, I haven't kept up lately but I'm so sorry to hear about your mum too. I am sending her, and you, many positive thoughts and good wishes :GroupHug:

     

    Barbara, thanks for the distance healing network, I'll definitely fill out the form :flowers:

     

    Mum rang me earlier to say the community Macmillan nurse visited yesterday. Mum has a fabulous set of Macmillan nurses that are attached to the hospital but this is the first community Mac nurse to visit. Apparently she just turned to mum in the middle of a lovely chat sitting in the sun and bluntly asked if she had thought about what will happen after the treatment :ohmy: Mum said she seriously considered losing her manners and saying "Oh don't beat about the bush, just cut to the chase and ask me how I feel about croaking, why don't you?" It's not really funny, but we were screeching with laughter on the phone, it's the first time mum has had a proper laugh in ages, maybe it's part of the therapy :rolleyes:

  20. Please Can I Ask For Some Reiki/good Thoughts

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    Please can I ask for some Reiki and positive thoughts for my lovely mum, Margaret. She was diagnosed with lung cancer four weeks ago. It's not curable and it's already spread to her heart and other areas, but her docs say they can try and slow it down with chemo and radiotherapy.

     

    She still hasn't started treatment, the NHS has been pretty rubbish so far. She was told in hospital, on her own, by a ward doctor on the Friday, then left until the following Tuesday before anyone apart from the general nursing staff came to talk to her about it. I had to track down the Macmillan nurses ourselves and ask for them to be involved as none of the departments/teams who should have been talking to each other seemed to be communicating properly, or with any speed. And they certainly don't believe in telling the patient what's going on. She has been back and forth for tests to establish the best way forward and she's constantly kept in the dark. Last week, after I threw my teddy out of the pram at a case conference and gave the consultant and his team a piece of my mind about the delays and the way mum had been treated, he said he would order a lung biopsy and then treatment could possibly start in a week. When she turned up the nurse said that had been cancelled and they were doing a biopsy from a lump in her neck instead (and then tried to take it from the wrong side). She lives alone in a caravan and I'm a three hour drive away from her, and my sister is five hours away. When I'm not driving up and down or ringing doctors to find out what's going on I seem to spend most of my time in tears, but I'm trying to be strong for mum :mecry:

     

    She's a very positive person and I've never heard her complain about all the disabilities she has, but this has floored her. She was very depressed at first and had stopped eating so was very weak and just sleeping all day, but she's on steroids now and is getting a little bit of her spark back. And the Macmillan nurses have been wonderful with her.

     

    I'm sorry to rabbit on, but if anyone has any good thoughts to spare for her, they would be very much appreciated.

     

    MumandAlfie.jpg

  23. September's Seasonal Sentiments

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    I'm not sure if I've previously said but my mum had another stroke as an effect of the brain op 3 or 4 weeks ago. She's making slow but good progress and was moved to a third hospital last night. Hopefully the intensive physio and specialist care will have her up and about soon. My Dad has been unwell this week too, so I waited with him for the out of hours doctor until the early hours one morning. He seems to be back in full control freak mode as of yesterday though :rolleyes:

    I'm so sorry your mum's had a setback Karen, but I'm glad to hear she's making some progress, and that your Dad's feeling better :GroupHug:

  24. Augusts Augmented Inanities

    in Non Animal Chat

    Posted

    Am hoping that my migraine will clear off today, 3 days a time is a real pain, in more ways than one :laugh:

     

    My mum could do with some "wake up" thoughts please. She's been in intensive care since Monday and is still very groggy as the operation caused a few problems. She needs to start waking up and getting back on the road to recovery.

    Sending your mum many good thoughts Karen, I hope she starts to recover soon :GroupHug:

     

    Michelle, I hope you get your course dilemma sorted out :flowers:

     

    I've been away for a few days so I've not really caught up, I hope everyone is well though.

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