Fee Posted June 9, 2007 Report Share Posted June 9, 2007 I think it depends rather on the issue. If someone asked me what I thought of a new dress they'd just spent a fortune on, then I'd go for tact. There seems little point hurting someone's feelings over something that (in the end) doesn't matter a jot. If there was some sort of ethical issue involved then I would be honest, in that I wouldn't compromise what I think. I'd still try to present my point tactfully (ie without being personal or offensive) if possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 I once lied through my teeth while looking someone right in the eyes. Her family were telling her the truth and stabbing at her heart, I lied becasue I couldn't bear the look on her face when she heard the truth. When she was stronger a while later (months) I told her exactly what I thought and she thanked me. She said that believing that just one person (me) said what she wanted to hear gave her hope and at that particular time she needed hope more than she needed almost anything else. From that moment on she started to eat again and think about something other than how her world had fallen apart. I would do it again if I thought it would do more good at that time than to tell the bitter truth. Tact would not not have cut it so I lied through my teeth. But in any other situation I would always try to tell the truth but if it would cause pain/upset/hurt feelings and it's someone I care about then I would keep my thoughts to myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClazUK Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 But in any other situation I would always try to tell the truth but if it would cause pain/upset/hurt feelings and it's someone I care about then I would keep my thoughts to myself. I like this. I think that is a good ethos to live by. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Posted June 10, 2007 Report Share Posted June 10, 2007 Im just bluntly honest and tactless but when i tell the truth i mean it sincerely even if it doesnt come across that way. I have always told people never to ask my opinion unless they are very sure they want the truth. I will however tell a blatant lie if im very sure the truth would honestly devastate someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greys mum Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 It is possible to be tactful and sincere.... You can be honest, but not hurtful. M As mum used to say, "It's not what you say, its the way that you say it." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurel n Hardy Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 I don't do tact or diplomacy as anyone who knows me will tell you I am brutally honest and if people don't like that then tough much much prefer sincerity as that is important to me i guess Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 I used to be horrifyingly honest when I was younger, but I have learned over time that saying what you think often offends. As there are very few subjects where I feel really confident enough that I know my view is definitely right and someone else's is definitely wrong, nowadays I always try to stick to the tactful side, and am certainly not above polite falsehoods. I'm more likely to come out with a definite viewpoint in a fairly abstract debate of principles, but if I'm was talking about a specific person's actions, I'm really reluctant to make definite 'honest' statements, as quite often I find my view of the situation changing as I think more about it anyway. What a wishy washy post this is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSDFan Posted June 11, 2007 Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 What a wishy washy post this is... It was rather I'm sorry, I couldn't resist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted June 11, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2007 (edited) It was ratherI'm sorry, I couldn't resist Well, I take it that was sincerity coming out - or maybe you then tempered it with an attempt at humour & tact? Edited June 11, 2007 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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