snow

Hello everyone I'm back again with deep apologies for wandering off again - Suzeanna you have my permission to thump me if I do it again!! I have a lot of catching up to do anyone have any cliff notes for me? In brief my news is - still dogless sadly though keeping an eye on a few groups and rescue sites, not in a hurry as its important to us to get it right next time and I think too that sometimes we forget how much of a tie having one can be and in some ways it's been a refreshing change not to have to do things in 4 hour slots because we need to get home for the dog etc. on the other hand the house feels empty and I do miss having a dog immensely. I will be having Bruno to stay for 2 weeks next weekend so that will give me a bit of a "fix". Healthwise - well lets just say haven't been brilliant but am working on things. Had a CT scan mixed results some good some not so good but mostly fixable, however best news was that despite having been a smoker for 35 years now that I am no longer a smoker (5 years now!) my chest and lungs are completely clear! Lost over 4 stone in weight so far - lots and lots more to go - have turned into a calorie & carbs bore and have become slightly ( OK a lot) obsessed with myfitnesspal charting every little thing I think I will eat or have eaten - I need to somehow calm that down a bit. Sods law it hasn't helped with my mobility one iota but my scooter does go a bit faster now lol Will try and be around much more regularly from now on and spend less time on the AIBU threads on mumsnet.

I've gotten into the habit of a twice a year food cupboard sort out otherwise I end up with a gazillion out of date tins of soup and peas lol My medical license has arrived so I'm now happy they aren't going to say they made a mistake and take it off me lol really counting down the days to 26th now can't wait to have clear vision again and hopefully new glasses a couple of weeks later and I will be able to see properly again. Right now the blurriness is really getting on my nerves and making things difficult. I'll be driving myself to work on Tuesday since I'm now all clear to drive - haven't driven for over a month so looking forward to it but sticking to only driving in full daylight until after my op.

It was terrifying Eve if someone came along and said you can quit work tomorrow and don't have to worry about paying the mortgage trust me I'd jump at the chance - in fact I'd move so fast I'd be a blur lol but we can't afford for me to retire for at least another 4 years. My job contract doesn't require me to be a car driver but it does require me to be an independent traveler which would be pretty much impossible due to the combination of my restricted mobility and the huge area I have to cover a great deal of which is rural with limited or indirect public transport links. Thankfully I don't have to worry about that now

I'm here - sorry to have gone all quiet again I was so anxious over my DVLA eye sight test for my driving licence I wasn't in a chatty mood and spent most of the time trying to find potential working from home jobs or weird and wonderful ways to try and earn an income online if I ended up losing my licence, in between trying to figure out what cuts we could make to our out goings etc. However thats no longer needed because I have passed the field vision and distance eye tests and have been given a 3 year medical licence! 😁 Told work they are stuck with me after all barring a lottery win lol I honestly can't tell you what a huge relief it is I was utterly convinced I'd failed the tests - I still have to have the Yag Laser on 26th March but that primarily is to sort out my close up vision and 2 weeks after that I can go and get new prescription glasses so all being well in 6 weeks or so I'll have even better vision. Just happy that I am legally safe to drive and can now resume driving again.

We did the same with Baddie during his final few months Yantan - just cleaned it all up and shampooed & steam cleaned - we also had some very useful disinfectant wipes that came from the hospital when I had my op a couple of years ago and I'd never used them they are really handy for a quick wipe over any stain before steam cleaning. Baddie wasn't even aware he was doing it as he'd lost sensation in that area so it just kinda fell out when he moved around bless him.

Neighbours can be a right pain in the behind sometimes - we don't get on with the ones to our left - I despise them frankly they are horrible people. Its sad because theres only 20 houses in our little close and we get on really well with the other 19 but it only takes 1 lot to make things unpleasant. To add insult to injury they have gone out of their way to suck up to the other neighbours so whenever we've said anything about them we get told "oh but they seem nice" - yeah try living next to them... thankfully my colleagues have seen and have been subjected to some of the behaviour we have had to put up with and were astonished at the way they are towards us, I was just delighted that we have now got independent witnesses to some of it. I've looked everywhere for the board time settings but can't find them.

Depends how much you like chicken as thats pretty much all they sell, I like it because I do like chicken cooked on a BBQ grill and I love their different spices - personally I go for what they call plain-ish then I have several different flavoured and spicey bottles of their dipping sauces to dip mine into, I love all the different sides especially the corn on the cob which is also roasted on the grill best of all I really like eating with my fingers 🤣 I tend to go for wings & Rob likes the butterfly breast and usually ends up with a couple of my wings as well lol

They do sell a slightly less strong version of my eye drops (Lumigan) specifically for growing eyelashes but its very very expensive apparently. and you can only get it with a private prescription its about £90 for 2 months supply. Rob took me out for a cheeky Nando's last night - don't know why but I love Nando's its my favourite restaurant chain but its not cheap and they never do offers so we tend to only go for my birthday or a special occasion so this was a pre-valentines meal lol

I think my gamboling across the hills days are long behind me 🤣 My eyelashes are getting longer and longer with these eye drops I take and they are really dark its a side effect I actually like as my lashes had got quite sparse after the menopause - not too sure how I'll feel if my eyes change colour from blue to brown which is another common side effect but at the moment theres no sign of that happening. Have fun at the bootsale Alicia - we're off to fetch mil and take her up the crem as its 20 years since fil died, I made curry & rice yesterday to take with us to have for lunch afterwards with naan bread - it will probably be the last time we all go together as she's moving away in a few weeks time and won't be able to just pop up the road anymore so it will just be me and Rob in future.

With medication sometimes I think Dr's aren't as current with things as they should be - Rob has been taking a medication for over a year but when he finally saw the consultant last Saturday he was told if it was going to work it would have worked in the first 72 hours and as nothing had improved then it was pointless taking it - so he's been taking prescription medication for over a year that he didn't need to take.

Oh I am so sorry to hear that Alicia - hope the morphine has kicked in now and you are feeling a bit better xx

I didn't see the point of getting a Costco card for a long time until I got taken in by a friend on her card - we only joined about 14 months ago and just renewed it without hesitation as we save the cost of the card in just 1 shop as a rule. To get the best from it you do need storage space and we're lucky we have an integral garage though thats piled to the roof at the moment and desperately needs sorting out. I've never bought cheese before because they are huge slabs and I've always thought we just wouldn't get through enough but the use by date is May and so long as I keep it in the fridge in a zip lock bag it should be fine - I also bought a huge bag of grated parmesan - we get through loads of that so it will be gone long before any use by date.

Thats great for Zoe xx We popped out to Costco this morning just to restock on the bulk stuff we get (toilet rolls, bin bags, water) as well as that we ended up with a new chair for Owen, enough cheese to feed the street several times over, 5kg of rice, 4 packs of part baked baguettes, 200 zeiss glasses wipes and 4 packs of Frosties. If it does snow here I should think we'd be fine for awhile 😁

I am going to talk to Nick & Vicky about taking Owen out of school and paying the fine for a holiday - the difference is ridiculous, if we book a caravan for 3rd June its £149 for 4 nights if we book the week before which is half term the SAME caravan on the SAME site is £529 for 4 nghts!!! That doesn't include the cost of the ferry which is also a lot more just because of the date! Even if they both get fined thats £120 and is still saving us £280!! How on earth can anyone justify the price hikes like that???

How on earth do people manage to afford to go on holiday in school holidays? Its been a long time since I had to think about it but now that Owen is about to turn 5 we won't be able to take him on holiday in term time - I had mentioned to Nick about perhaps all going to the Isle of White for a little holiday this year to help share the costs before I actually looked at what the costs actually were and I've had a bit of a shock! The difference between a term time week and a half term week is ridiculous its between 3 & 4 x's the price!! I'm not sure we can afford it even spreading the costs between us - and I'm not talking about posh hotels or anything, just 4 or 5 days in a bog standard caravan!

That was very sweet of them Sue. I've had the YAG laser before on the other eye which is why I'm a little anxious as he did say that it might have been that which contributed to the macular hole that kicked all this off and lost me my central vision in that eye, he said my risk factor has increased to around 25% from about 5% however the hole can also be caused by raised pressures & no real way of telling what actually caused it and given my pressures are now lowered and being treated hopefully that particular risk is lessened. Given that if I don't have it then the clouding will get worse and worse until I can't see I don't really have much of a choice - I do know that once I've had it then my vision will be back to normal almost instantly.

We're back boy was that stressful we left here at 7:15 an hour and 15 mins before my appointment for what is normally a 25 - 30 min journey but traffic was horrendous and I ended up being 10 mins late and panicking I'd miss it, thankfully it was all fine when I got there and I still ended up being first in to see the consultant. Bad news is that I definitely have glaucoma but the pressures have significantly reduced with the drops. The bad eye has had disc damage but as thats the one I have no central vision in following my recent surgery its not really a concern, the good news is theres no damage to my remaining "good eye". I do have PCO ( clouding of the lens) in the "good eye" and he's agreed to do the laser treatment in 5 weeks time theres a risk involved as there always is with laser surgery but in my case the risks are higher given what happened to the other eye but if I don't have it then the cloudiness will get worse and worse and eventually I wouldn't be able to see out of either eye so no real choice really. So a mixed bag of news. My drops can only be used for 28 days and then I have to throw them away and start a new bottle - that in its self is becoming stressful as for some fliiping reason they won't let me have a "spare" bottle and my prescription is "monthly" but I need it ever 21 days really and no one not the surgery nor the pharmacy seem able to grasp this simple fact and every month I end up faffing about trying to order a prescription online because no one has put one through for me. The side effects of the drops are interesting - they actually market it for lengthening your eyelashes (its verrry expensive to buy it for cosmetic reasons) my eye lashes are now really long and dark and thick and getting fuller every day it seems, it might also turn my irises from blue to brown!

Up at silly o'clock to get to my eye appointment - can't see the moon it's too cloudy here typical! Dreading this appointment - have so much to ask him and he's so taciturn so I'm taking Rob in with me as I won't be able to read the long list of questions I have once I have the stingy drops in my eyes.

I'm here - the handover went well yesterday, lovely people with 2 lurcher girls they'd lost their big greyhound boy just before Xmas so if Jaffa/Freddie settles with them he won't be going anywhere. It was a long emotional day and we came home a bit battered emotionally and physically tired from the early start and long day in the car but whilst we both have shed tears and the house once again feels empty we are both certain we made the right decision for him and for us. I've finally got an appointment to see my eye surgeon tomorrow only 11 weeks over due! I'm worried about what he's going to say as my eyesight has been getting worse and worse since I last saw him which I'm hoping he's going to say is down to the drops rather than anything else going on with my actual eyes.

All people see is us bouncing a dog in less than a week - they don't know us, our our house etc. so yeah theres some nasty comments - I'm not reading them any more. I know its the right thing and I know the soul searching we've done and the tears we have and will cry, we are a good home for a dog and will be again, just not this particular dog. Sadly.

He'll be going into foster on Saturday we will be taking him over to Henley first thing to hand him over so that he has the weekend to settle with them. In so many ways he is wonderful, just the sort of dog we love and want but I feel very strongly that he needs more space than we can offer - or perhaps a better laid out space than we have. He's already bonding with us as are we to him so to have delayed making the decision wouldn't have been fair on him - part of me is still doubting myself but thats the heart talking not the head and the head and gut and my experience is telling me this is whats right for HIM even if we're being slated for it.

I have never bounced a dog - and we have had dogs with all kinds of issues and we never quit or gave up on them and they all turned into wonderful heart dogs - Freddie/Jaffa is already wonderful, he has done nothing at all wrong, he's a bright bright loving and kind boy and its barely been 5 days so yes it feels to me and probably lots of people that we are not giving him a chance but if it were anything we could work on then it would be different but I cannot make the house any bigger, and I know Baddie was a greyhound and not that much smaller than him but he just feels so much bigger and the house really is very small, and my gut is telling me we aren't the right home for him and even I know how bad that sounds.

I don't know what to say or how to say it other than straight from the heart - we have failed Freddie utterly failed him, I know its going to look like we didn't give him a fair chance, and he has done NOTHING wrong - he is a sweet sweet boy and deserves a first class home and I wish it could be us but it can't. Although its going to sound like a very poor excuse the fact is he is is much bigger than we anticipated and our house is so small it just doesn't feel right for us. No one can say anything thats going to make me feel any worse or any more upset than I currently feel. I didn't sleep at all last night going over and over and over it in my head let me say again this is MY fault NOT his fault. I have let him and Lisa down and I know it.

We are home - all 3 of us! Freddie is fab - he's a quick learner and very bright which is both a blessing and a curse as he saw where we hid the treats and has been plotting ways to get to them. We think hes enormous though Lisa reckons he's medium for a male greyhound - he's certainly a LOT bigger than Baddie. He's not used to being in a house so he's finding it all very strange - when I put the TV on he leapt to his feet in surprise and its clear he can see whats on the screen and listens to the sounds - never had a dog pay any attention to the TV before - this one just spent a good 5 mins absorbed by The Day After Tomorrow lol He's a counter surfer extraordinaire - he's already found a lost werthers original down the side of a chair and ate it wrapper and all before I even had chance to finish saying NO! 🙄 On that note I suspect he'll think his name is "no" long before he realises it's Freddie lol