Way too much time indeed – chance would be a fine thing! I was at work, taking a breather from a heated video conference with some stroppy bureauprats in Luxembourg, rarely log on here and decided I needed a reality check to restore my sanity before returning to the fray. Dunno quite how I stumbled across this thread and certainly had no idea that it was an old one or that I’d inadvertently resurrected it; as you might have divined from my post, I’m not really very switched on about dates to put it mildly!
The suggestions for environmentally friendly forms of feminine front bottom comfort, hygiene and contraception all sound wonderful but as I’ve not managed to organise myself in these areas over the last 30 years I suspect I’m beyond hope. My hormonal train is fast pulling out of Fertility Central so I’ve probably not got many more spells of a toilet roll stuffed gusset to face before the menopause now anyway. I take the pill (helps keep a bit of meat on my hips) and am as regular as clockwork so I’m clueless as to quite how this monthly occurrence always manages to creep up and surprise me as it does. Must be something to do with time flying and enjoying myself.
BTW, there was once an “incident†at my mother’s house where my improvised arrangement escaped down my trouser leg due to knicker elastic failure, emerging at my ankle. Mater insisted that I use one of her sanitary towels (along with a pair of her apple-gatherers, aka sturdy sensible undies) and I swear upon all that is holy, never again. It was like having a mattress in my pants and I spent the entire afternoon walking around in a John Wayne stylee, much the amusement of my giggly young niece – bitch!
Good job I’m better at shovelling sh*t than I am with womanly matters, eh Claz?!