owl Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 That is true, Griff. You never know what lies have been told. My cousins thought their mother didn't care about them after a split, as they had never received a birthday card or present. But she had sent them and they were returned. She had left their father because he spent everything he earned on himself and let her and the children starve. She ran off with the children to her parents, my grandparents, and her husband took the children back from her and gave them to his mother to bring up. People could do that kind of thing in those days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 I know that his family could have tried to find him themselves if they were bothered but until he actually hears what they have been told I will keep my opinion of them neutral. It is shocking how families behave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 I was brought up badly, my brothers were treated worse than me, that's why we are all scarred mentally, even as adults Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 (edited) It stays with you Jazz. Children are sponges and take everything in even if they don't understand it. It can then shape how they see the world and react to things. Philip Larkin said it well (apologies for the language but it loses its impact if is censored. Oh OK the forum censors censored it anyway.) They f*** you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were f***** up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself. Edited August 6, 2019 by Yantan add a comment 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzeanna Posted August 6, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 I can't understand the people who kill their children to get back at their partner, like the man who set the house on fire with his two boys inside, or the woman who jumped off a bridge with her child. As for the woman in the news recently who killed both her little girls because they got in the way of her sex life..well, I honestly think the death penalty should be brought back for people like her. All sorts of things from your childhood stick with you...my mother was, in retrospect, a narcissist and everything had to revolve around her. After my dad died from TB when I was nearly seven, she and a close female friend (very close, as it turned out!) moved from Yorkshire to Sussex. There went everyone I'd known at school, my cousins etc. Then she was in a sanitorium for two years as she'd caught it from him, so I was shuttled around various strangers for a few months then up to Hull to live with a very much older sister of hers, who told me frequently that if my mum died she'd put me in an orphanage as she wasn't going to get saddled with me. Does wonders for the confidence at the age of nine or ten! Mum didn't die but by the time she was well enough to go home, I'd passed the 11plus to go to a school that my best friend and I were dying to go to but of course then I had to go back down South. Probably why to this day I feel unsettled, as if nowhere is "home", and find it difficult to engage with people in real life! Dear me, we all sound in need of that cognitive behaviour therapy! Come on someone please, tell us about your perfect childhood and adult life to balance it up! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 Well that won't be me Suzeanne. I did not have a "normal" childhood either. I'm sorry you had to go through all that and can sympathise. Griff and I are engaged on more detective work this morning after she got some more info from Steve. I got the wrong set of grandparents yesterday. I think we are both starting to feel we've gone down a rabbit hole but it's fascinating! Piddling down very heavily here. I hope the dam at Whaley Bridge is still holding up. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eve Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 I did. My mum and dad were lovely. Strict but fair and I had a great childhood. Not much money but loads of fun and lots of love. Late teens/adulthood not so good, but that was my fault not theirs. A rebel without a cause and they bailed me out every time. I won't say there were no recriminations as there was but I deserved them lol. Big hugs to all who had a difficult and unhappy childhood. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 We have just had some very heavy rain with rumbling thunder but no lightning and soon passed over. Another vanload packed up to go to tip tomorrow. Found a lot of towels among the clutter, they can go to rescue. However, there is one good quality bath sheet which has me in a dilemma. It is a bit suggestive. There was a firm which produced energy drinks from 2000 to 2005 before it got a slap on wrist from whatever association deals with selling drinks for breaching code of practice. It was the Spirit Hop And Grape firm. The towel was obviously some kind of promotional thing. It is red and black and says Fancy a SHAG? and the website address for the firm. I couldn't hang it on line without startling the neighbours and provoking questions from little lad next door who is just learning to read. I don't think I can give it to rescue, it would look insulting. It is probably a rarity but I don't know if anyone collects advertising material from 2005. I could just pack it away in one of ex-friend's boxes but I am really trying to get her stuff down to a minimum. Any helpful suggestions? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 Lol...owl, that towel is awesome!!! Yes Marion...I have no clue what's going on with his family lol Hmmmm, my child hood wasn't perfect and apart from one or two bits on the whole fine, I feel very very lucky as compared to most of you I did o.k...just have a complicated life now. I don't understand people who harm kids or mess with their heads, I think I would have done o.k as a parent, would have raised them the same way I was Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted August 6, 2019 Report Share Posted August 6, 2019 (edited) Griff, if you like the idea of that towel give me your address and I will send it to you. Would give your nasty neighbours something else to complain about if you hung it on line. Edited August 6, 2019 by owl 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted August 7, 2019 Report Share Posted August 7, 2019 morning all. been up since 6. bloody shoulder is killing me, so many pills and temper tantrums today hope you have a better day xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted August 7, 2019 Report Share Posted August 7, 2019 the babys teething. just gave her more hooves to save the table leg lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted August 7, 2019 Report Share Posted August 7, 2019 Morning all. A much better morning this morning with even a little patch of blue sky. The rain yesterday was like a monsoon! We are off to Newcastle tomorrow for Ruby's 6 monthly scan. She goes back next month to see the surgeon for the results. What are you all up to today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted August 7, 2019 Report Share Posted August 7, 2019 im waiting for a parcel, won puppy food. so housework. ill get dressed at some point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted August 7, 2019 Report Share Posted August 7, 2019 (edited) Taking a load to tip, walking Wispa, gardening then meeting a friend for a meal this evening. That is the plan anyway. My days rarely go according to plan. Edited August 7, 2019 by owl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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