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Could 2015 Be The Year To Have A Dog Again?


Tempest

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As most of you probably know we lost Olliedog about 5 years ago now and have been dogless ever since - pretty much due to work commitments and the fact that I was pretty upset and not sure I could have another dog again :( My OH isn't keen on having a dog again as Ollie was my dog before I met him so we never adopted him 'together' and he thinks dogs are a tie and extra aggravation etc but I've pretty much accepted that's his viewpoint but that I had a dog before I met him so if he didn't to live with a dog he should have said something then and shouldn't have stuck with me!!! He's great with my brother's dog and plays brilliantly with him and he's great with the cats so I know he'll be great with a dog but I've given up trying to win him over as I'm at the point where I think life is too short to hold back on what you really want and he'll just have to accept that basically :)

Since losing Ollie we have adopted 2 rescue cats, Jasmine and Meg, Jas is super confident and I don't think she'd be fazed by a dog at all but Meg is super nervous and even if we have visitors she growls and legs it outside :(

Jas is very much an indoor cat and pops out into the back garden now and again but pretty much snoozes on our bed for most of the day and Meg is always out whatever the weather and in summer we barely see much of her at all - personality wise they really couldn't be more different. Jas is 5 and Meg is roughly 3 years old. They tolerate each other but I wouldn't say they were great mates at all.

I'm currently teaching 4 days a week and am hoping that from Easter I'll be able to change my hours even further to do 2 full days and 2 half days a week. My OH has a half day every Friday so I'm hoping if I can make one of my full days a Friday a potential doglet would only be home for a full day once a week and we'd use a dog walker on that day (I already have someone in mind). Plus during school hols I'm at home all the time.

I'm just really wondering if a) that setup sounds suitable for a rescue dog and b) I'm quite worried about how Meg cat will react to things.

Ideally we'd be looking to find a small dog (I really love Cavaliers and would absolutely love a Cavvie) that has been in foster with cats and we know is pretty bomb proof with them and hope that over time with slow careful intros that things could work out. I know Cavs are really popular when they do come up in rescue and my other worry would be that as we do have work commitments we'll always be pipped to the post by people who are retired etc and home all the time. We don't necessarily 'have' to have a Cav but they my absolute dream dog so I think if we're going to adopt again it makes sense to look for your perfect dog :)

We are planning a holiday in the summer so I'd try to organise that for the first 2 weeks of the 6 weeks hols in July and then I'd still have a month off after getting home to settle a new doglet in. Obviously it's really hard to plan when your perfect dog is going to crop up so that might be a bit idealist thinking we can come home from hols and find our perfect dog to be around when I've got the summer hols to settle them in.

Just really wondered to get people's opinions on how doable and realistic that all sounds as I don't want to get my hopes up and then realise that either rescues won't think we've got a suitable set up or things aren't going to work out with Meg cat and it's all going to go horribly wrong but I guess we'll never know unless we try :)

 

 

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Hi Jules I would think that the biggest hurdle you'll have is not the cats or the fact you work, but it's your other half not really wanting a dog. Most rescues will want to meet everyone in the household to talk with them about the adoption, if he's not keen or committed then I suspect they'd be reluctant to rehome to you in case the dog needed to be returned if it was causing problems in your relationship, moreover if there is tension between you over the dog then it's going to be a stressful environment for that dog to come into. The other issue I'd be concerned about is Meg what will you do if she decides she doesn't want to live with a dog? There will always be cat safe dogs in rescue, and those which are happy to be an only dog, finding the right one at the perfect time for you however may be a bit of wishful thinking - not saying it wouldn't happen but the timing side of things is probably the least of the concerns.

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Thanks for the reply Snow :)

 

I wouldn't adopt of course without the OH's consent so we'd both have to 'agree' to it but I think I've accepted that he's never going to be hugely enthusiastic about it unfortunately but I'm only in my 30s and refuse to live the rest of my life dogless! Having said that I'd be covering all costs and doing all the feeding/walking general care giving and I think the agreement would be that the dog would be 'my' dog in regards to any future relationship breakup etc (although hopefully that won't be happening!) so we would both know where we stand in that respect. I don't think he'd seem 'relunctant' if we were having a homecheck as we wouldn't be at that point unless we were both in agreement and I definitely don't think our environment would be stressful for a new dog as if we got to the point of adopting we'd both have to be on board with it so there would be no 'hostility' from him towards a new dog or strain on the relationship I don't think. We're both pretty solid and have been together nearly 8 years now and generally he's a fairly laid back character.

 

To be honest it's hard to know what I would do if Meg wouldn't accept a dog. I guess if things proved to be thoroughly unworkable with training and lots of hard work, stair gates and 'safe zones', then I guess the dog would have to be returned which would be heartbreaking but as Meg was here first I think that would be how things would have to be but I'm not sure how rescues would feel about me saying that but I think honesty is the best policy hopefully. I think I'd have to stress to them that she is nervous and hopefully any dog we would think of adopting would have to be pretty laid back I think and ignore cats as much as possible to give things the best chance of working. I guess with anyone with existing pets no-one can ever know how things are going to work out 100% but I think I'd be extremely dedicated to putting the work in to giving things the best chance possible and I'm not sure there's much more I could do other than that :)

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I had a gang of 7 cats when I got George. They had no direct experience with dogs. They were naturally suspicious of the new addition but I put him in a dog play pen so they could see him but he couldn't bother them whilst they got used to his presence. Of course it helped that George was just an 8 week old pup as he was tiny and no threat to them. They did a fair amount of spitting at him anytime he would come get too close although still in his playpen but they were fascinated by him and one and the same time. I didn't want to keep him separate from them for too long as I wanted them to bond. So after about a week I started doing gentle introductions. He got bopped on his head and his nose a fair few times but took it all good naturally and it didn't put him off although he did gain a healthy respect for the cats.

 

After a time he just became one of the gang although as he grew to be 3 or 4 times the size of them I had to stop him sometimes being a bit overbearing with them. One of them, Skippy, never really took to him but then she didn't like the other cats much either (she had issues and a lot of baggage) In the end she ended up living in Ruby's room where she seemed much happier to be separated although she did allow one of the others in for play time every now and again. George learned to respect Skippy and in fact was frightened of her after she REALLY beat him up one day when he was bugging her. And she was only ever the size of a kitten even though she lived to be 19! Archie came later and I repeated the introductions slowly but they came round much quicker this time having lived with George for 5 years by the time.

 

I would say they never all became devoted companions - they just got used to each other and found a peaceful way to live, although there was always the occasional spat from time to time but nothing really to worry about.

 

There is no way I could have introduced more cats here after George and Archie were well and truly settled in. They both accepted the cats that were here before them but new ones wouldn't stand a chance! George is now at the Bridge but Archie is still with me and he hates cats with a passion. Belle, the cat from next door is his arch enemy and he would kill her if he could get hold of her. She cares not one jot and teases him something rotten. She lives with 2 dogs and she is the boss of them. That said he was as good as gold with the resident cats when he went into home boarding with our dog walker so it's a territorial thing with him.

 

Anyway that's just my experience. I would think a good rescue would be able to advise you and help you on introductions, perhaps have a potential new dog visit over a period of time and perhaps have a sleep over to see how Meg coped. It's what the rescue I used to help with did. Whatever happens - good luck!

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Hi Sam - thanks for the reply and you too Yantan :)

 

I have thought of fostering Sam but my main worry with it is the cat issue as quite often dogs looking for foster are unassessed with cats or you only have the previous owners word on how they are and as we really need to bring a dog home that's going to be pretty bomb proof with them I wasn't sure it would be the best thing. I think I'm worried that if we did foster and then the doglet turned out not to be great with cats that a negative experience might be worse for Meg in the long term? I thought if we found a dog that had been in foster with cats and we knew for certain wasn't bothered by them then that would be a safer option for Meg but I'm definitely open to suggestions :)

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I'd largely agree with Snow though I think from what you say you've considered his wishes for a few years now and if you really miss having a dog should at least talk to him about what you really want. Perhaps it may be that if discussed this will prove more important to you than it is to him?

 

If that's resolvable then I'm sure you can find a cat friendly dog out there and will have plenty of time to introduce them & see how they get on before finalising adoption etc. If you're set on a cavvie, cat tested etc etc then you may perhaps just have to wait and see when one comes along rather than have a set timescale in mind but hey you've waited 5 years now, so what's a few months here & there?

 

Good luck with your discussions / search

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