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merledogs

December Ding Dongs (Merilly On High)

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I'm in a bit of a dilemma and would appreciate some advice. I have never really been close to my father and I haven't spoken to him since I moved out of the house we co-owned in 2005. About a year ago he contacted me via Facebook and we've been exchanging the odd email, and he has asked if we can meet or speak on the phone, but I really don't want to and have told him I don't mind the odd email, but that's as far as it goes. There's a lot of history and reasons behind it all which I'm not going to put on a public forum.

 

He's now emailed me to say that he went to A&E last night as he didn't feel well. The hospital is at the top of my road and he said he noticed I was home cos he parked near my house. That in itself freaks me out a bit. Anyway he says he's got a pulmonary embolism (blood clot on his lungs) which could kill him at any time. He has asked if he could have my mobile number cos when he was in the hospital yesterday he needed someone to collect his pyjamas, slippers, toiletries, etc as he needed to stay in and his wife is away until 19th and next door neighbour wasn't in. I have given it to him, with the express instruction that it is only to be used in a dire emergency. I'm wishing now that I hadn't because my father is very manipulative and I'm starting to feel that by giving him the number he may find excuses to use it.

 

I don't know what to do :( It may all sound a bit odd, but there are reasons and history which, as I've said, I don't want to go into here.

Edited by merledogs

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Alex I've heard you speak of your Father before and from what you've said it's not worth him being in your life. Sounds like he's fed you a sob story. Why after all this time of you having little to nothing to do with him can he expect you to collect pjs, slippers for him. If patients don't have those things with them the hospital will provide them anyway.

Only have the amount of contact that you want, not what someone else wants! So he has your mobile if he abuses it, you can change your number, yeah it's a pain and you shouldn't have to but it's easy enough to do. It's tricky you could try and see if time or his illness has changed him or just keep him at arms length. You clearly aren't comfortable with this new situation though :(

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What I would say Alex, is I *think* if you speak to your mobile operator, you can block numbers, not sure though :unsure: Alternatively, you could change your number once he is well again.

 

Sorry the craft fair wasn't a huge success Steph :flowers: Did your mugs arrive in time?

 

Beautiful pics Sandra :wub:

 

:GroupHug: for Tia cat

 

Just ordered my new phone, decided to go for something completely different. Ended up ordering a nokia lumia 800. Had a play with it last night in the phone shop, and liked the camera and integrated facebook and twitter feeds :) Going to be a very different to my iPhone though :unsure:

 

Car is home and mended :partytime: Dad has had a rubbish day though as he lost Ted on his walk :rolleyes: There is one field I refuse to take the dogs on as one of them always disappears. Today it was Ted's turn :rolleyes: He managed to make his own way home though, think dad has finally seen sense though and has decided to not go on that field again.

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Alex sorry to hear that.

 

Does your phone have the option to have a separate ring tone for your Dad so you don't accidentally answer it. Voicemail messages can be listened to and acted upon at leisure.

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Oh hell Alex. If it was that much of an emergency surely his wife would be coming home. I know where you're coming from as I'm in hiding away from family. Thankfully mine don't know where I live. It's completely up to you what you do or don't do. Only do what you want to. :GroupHug:

 

Sorry it didn't go better Steph. Hope that like Oldies Club the publicity you have got from it will help further things for you.

 

Started the Christmas shopping today. Didn't get everything I wanted to but have managed to do quite a bit. I managed to find a skipping rope which I'm hoping to use to get fit.

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Steph - really sorry your stall didn't go well and hope you warm up soon Group_Hug_Emoticon.gif

 

Thanks for the advice people :liebe94: I can't block his number cos I don't know it. I'll see how it goes - I did give him my personal mobile which I never use, rather than my work one, so I can change it if required.

 

 

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Alex, my son has a similar situation with his dad (my daughter won't even speak to her father) who has just come back from ten years abroad, and now expects my son to be at his beck and call. He's told his dad he will be there for emergencies, but other than that, he has his own life and famiy to lead. I suggest you do one thing for your dad, and one thing only and make it clear that is it.

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Sorry to hear about your dilemma Alex. If you really don't use your personal mobile that much, I would just be going for letting unknown numbers that come up go to voice mail and checking them at my leisure. All sounds very difficult.

 

Travelled to Suffolk and back today to see poorly Auntie. Tigger was most dischuffed because we parked at Auntie's house, just round the corner from the hospital,and he could not understand why he could not go into the house! Auntie is really not well at the moment - although she had rallied from a DNR situation on Thursday, to knowing exactly who I was today. I am now shattered from the travelling and mental drainage.

 

Was going to do some aggressive garden tidying tomorrow, but the weather is looking 'adverse'!

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the gritters are out, so I could be hibernating from tomorrow. ive got shopping being delivered monday and the 23rd, lewis can do the rest

 

I got so excited about the pepsi max, forgot bread, milk etc lol

 

love to all :flowers:

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Morning :tired:

 

Mrs B - sorry to hear your Aunty isn't well Group_Hug_Emoticon.gif

 

Doesn't seem as cold this morning. There's a lot less condensation (normally the patio doors are covered in it) - this could have something to do with the fact I had the dehumidifier on last night.

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:wavey: Morning

 

:GroupHug: sorry tour Auntie is not well Mrs B

 

I'm going photographing a baby today :wub: I don't normally do babies because they are so difficult but it's for a friend so couldn't no :biggrin:

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I'm sorry to hear your aunty isn't well Mrs B Group_Hug_Emoticon.gif

 

Steph if I'd been able to get down yesterday you would certainly have had more sales flowers.gif

 

Alex don't ever feel pressured to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable no matter who is asking Group_Hug_Emoticon.gif

 

I think I have completed my Christmas shopping. I did a few cards last week and so need to concentrate on doing the rest of them and then I am done.

 

I'm going to see my friend who is seriously ill in hospital tomorrow. They have put her in a private room which to me doesn't bode well sad02.gif She has ovarian cancer. She underwent surgery a few weeks ago and should have started her chemo last week but has not been well since the surgery. Last week she took a real dip and was taken back into hospital.

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For you and your poorly friend Marion Group_Hug_Emoticon.gif

 

I went into the kitchen to take some mince out of the freezer to make some dog food later on, and ended up cooking some rice, veg and spuds (separately) for the dog food. I have two lots of mince defrosting - one lot for the dog food and one for some treats (am going to make these with mince and rice as I don't have oats in). I have some chicken pieces cooking in the slow cooker so the meat is easy to remove off the bone - this will also be used for dog food.

 

I've cleared out the pan cupboard, washed all the pots and pans, cleaned the cupboard out, then put everything back in. I've also scrubbed down the wooden kitchen trolley and the floor underneath it which was minging ohmy.gif

 

And what have I just had for brunch? Toast . I put far more effort into cooking for the dogs than I do for myself rolleyes.gif

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