doggy.lover Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 So sorry to hear about your mum Jules. My mum died last saturday from bone & liver cancer so I do have some idea of what you are going through. It's the most horrible thing in the world and my heart goes out to you. After a 2 week stay in hospital we managed to get mum into a hospice for her last two days and I think that helped enormously from both points of view. If you can get your mum into day respite she may find it helps. I'm sorry I don't really know what else to say as I'm still reeling but I do wish you both the very best. Love and strength Michaela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted September 30, 2011 Report Share Posted September 30, 2011 My mum died last saturday from bone & liver cancer so I do have some idea of what you are going through. It's the most horrible thing in the world and my heart goes out to you. I'm sorry I don't really know what else to say as I'm still reeling but I do wish you both the very best. Love and strength Michaela I'm sorry to read of your loss. May you find comfoort in your happier memories of her in the weeks ahead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesB Posted October 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 My mum died last saturday from bone & liver cancer so I do have some idea of what you are going through. It's the most horrible thing in the world and my heart goes out to you. Michaela, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mum Thank you for your good wishes, especially at a time when things must be so raw for you. I am holding you in my thoughts and sending you a big Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 im so sorry michaela Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houndzrus Posted October 2, 2011 Report Share Posted October 2, 2011 Just catching up. So sorry Jules, I hope things improve treatment and care wise for your mum as it will help you too. It's so hard watching those you love suffer. So sorry Micheala So sorry Snow too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesB Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Michaela, how are you doing at the minute? I think of you often and send you a big cyber-hug I'm also in East Yorkshire. I didn't meet the MacMillan nurses myself but they are certainly there. The hospice I referred to is Dove House & they have day units, support for carers etc as well as ultimately in patient care. http://www.dovehouse.org.uk/ Thanks for the link Ian. Mum is going for a look round Dove House next week. If there is a hospice near her it would be worth seeing if she could go for day care - my mother goes once a week, she gets lunch, she joins in the craft sessions and most importantly (dad has Alzheimers and is almost deaf) she gets people to chat with - not just about her illness. She was in a bit of a state when the MacMillan nurse asked her about whether she wanted to be in the hospice or at home when her time was up but now she realises that they ask that at the very start so the patient's wishes are known and the matter can then be discretely dropped rather than asking someone who only has days left. She was also worried about being referred to the hospice despite us going to visit and being told about the day care - but now she has been, and has also seen people who stay in for a few days then go home again she is far more relaxed about it. I have to say the care and empathy she has received is fantastic - she is in her 80s, she has a serious lung problem, a pacemaker and now cancer in her bones and breast, but from the consultants to the nursing staff everyone has made her feel valued, taken time out to discuss things with her (and allowed for the fact she is a fractious old woman as I know from experience!!!) Mum's GP has now also asked what she wants to happen at the end. The cancer is stage four and more aggressive than they first thought. She's got a lovely consultant, has had her first chemo and not been too bad with side effects, and I've been doing a bit better the last few weeks basically by pretending it's not happening, but this hospice thing has just set me off falling apart again. I'm sure you're right and it's just the way they always go about it but it's such a hard conversation to have. How is your mum doing at the moment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I am so sorry to hear about your mum Jules and am sending all the positive thoughts I can muster for her My 80 year old friend has skin cancer and her treatment - or lack it- has been appalling. She wrote to the patients watch dog thing (I forget the proper name) but even that didn't really come to anything. She feels she's being fobbed off with 3rd class service because of her age Thinking of you too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Sending lots of positive thoughts for your mum Jules And also for Marion's friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 My thoughts are with you & your Mum, to be honest things are not sounding too good to me but I do hope the chemo. produces a positive outcome & some remission. Dove House is a nice place - as nice as anywhere can be under the circumstances anyway - & I'm sure they'll look after your Mum but there will obviously be some needs they don't cover (eg Pete didn't feel ike cutting grass / hedges so I did it for him) & I'm not sure whether you have family local or not so if there's anything I can do to help please don't hesitate to ask. Good luck with the treatment in the weeks ahead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Thinking of you and your Mum, Jules, and so sorry to hear Michaela's sad news. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trallwm farm Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Im so sorry you are going through this and I have great sympathy for all the people on this thread. Sadly when you need it least will be the time you have to fight the most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houndzrus Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 So sorry things are so bad for you and your mum Jules. I'm thinking of you and sending lots of good thoughts. xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted November 4, 2011 Report Share Posted November 4, 2011 So sorry the prognosis isn't better Jules. The care given in hospices is second to none. In those I've had experience of anyway. Hope the Chemo helps your mum. Will keep you both in my thoughts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted November 17, 2011 Report Share Posted November 17, 2011 I hope all is going wellwith the treatment & hospice visit & if you possibly can do so you're all planning to have a great xmas / new year together Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesB Posted December 26, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2011 My beautiful, amazing mum died on Christmas Eve morning. My sister and brother and I stayed at the hospital for a week taking it in turns to sleep so we could be at her bedside 24/7, while she tried to fight off a chest infection she picked up following chemo when her immunity was low, but although the docs threw everything they had at it, in the end she just had nothing left to fight with. When she was diagnosed we had promised her we were all in it together and would be by her side no matter what. We were lucky to have a few days where she could speak a little and squeeze our hands so we all got to say the things that needed to be said. It was an absolute privilege to wash her and care for her in the last days, and to be there while she took her last breath and slipped away. Goodnight god bless mum. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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