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Mal Not Well


BillyMalc

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Aww Billy.... :GroupHug:

 

I am so sorry, rest easy, Mal.

 

 

 

Memories are Goldenâ€

 

They say memories are golden.

Well, maybe that is true.

I never wanted memories

I only wanted you.

 

A million times I needed you,

A million times I cried.

If love alone could have saved you,

You never would have died.

 

In life I loved you dearly,

In death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place

No one could ever fill.

 

If tears could build a stairway,

And heartache make a lane.

I'd walk the path to heaven,

And bring you home again.

 

Our family chain is broken,

And nothing seems the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

The chain will link again.

 

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My gorgeous man has gone.

 

We spent most of the morning in the garden, where he insisted on lying on the grottiest patch of concrete - which he only started doing during the last few days. I laid next to him and he shuffled so that I could put my arm around him and he could lean his head into mine. I think that's when we said goodbye. He was able to say goodbye to everyone who's known and loved him for all those years, especially his aunty Maggie, who's held a special place in his heart since day one.

 

:wub_anim: as sad as this obviously is it sounds like you really did give him the happiest possible passing he could have had Billy :flowers:

 

 

He insisted on one last walkies just before Purrpuss arrived with the sedative. She said he had changed so much since Saturday, when she last saw him. It definitely was the right time. Mal fell asleep in another patch of the garden, in the sun, and Sparky and Kiera and my mum said goodbye to him there. We took him to the vet and I held an already pretty much unconscious Mal until the anaesthetic kicked in and he'd gone.

 

It was the right time, Mal had stopped enjoying life, and he wasn't going to get better. I know he'll be with me in spirit forever, but just knowing now that I'll never look into his eyes again, or stroke his soft, floppy ears or be able to plant a kiss on those curly hairs on his neck, that hurts so much right now :mecry: :mecry:

 

:GroupHug: I wish that there was something I could do / say to take that pain away for you but although sadly I can't I know that in time your many happy memories of your 7 years will once again replace those tears with a smile. Your love and efforts for Mal throughout your time together should be an inspiration to any dog owner out there. :GroupHug:

 

RIP Mal

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I'm so sorry :mecry:

 

He'll always be with you, just in a different way now.

 

Tuesday was a busy day at the bridge, two of my good friends had their best pals go too, so my girls were busy greeting everyone and I'm sure they checked on Mal too..

 

:GroupHug: :GroupHug: :GroupHug:

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Thank you all once again. Your advice and support have really helped so much! :flowers: Up till the last day I kept seeing a sparkle in his eyes, and just when I thought that Mal was getting really tired, he'd come to the door with a wagging tail, wanting to go for 'walkies' or he'd come to me for a fuss - and in both cases that convinced me that he wasn't done fighting yet and that I would therefore continue to look for every option that there was, to prolong his life a bit longer while not compromising on the quality of it. On Tuesday it really became clear tho, that I could try to keep him going for maybe a few more days, but that Mal himself was tired and wanted to go. There is no point in trying to keep anyone alive if it isn't a happy life and there is no chance that it will be ever again. :mecry: :mecry:

 

Still, I miss Mal terribly. Many people have already said that there was something special about Mal, and there really was. Mal was more than "my dog", he was my best mate and my teacher, and I was his well-trained servant :wub: As a trainer, Mal was a real inspiration; he taught me new tricks almost up to the end. A few weeks before his death he decided that he was no longer going to be vegan, and towards the end he blatantly refused to eat anything that wasn't pure animal. No human being would ever be able to get me to prepare meat for them, but Mal just told me that that was the way it was gonna be ... No clicker and no rewards, other than that he would eat what I got him if it was of the correct matter :rolleyes:

 

I'm thinking of Rainbow Bridge a lot, and wonder how Mal is getting on. I know that at some point we'll meet again. Till then, I'll keep missing him ...

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:GroupHug: Billy.

 

You will see Mal again I have no doubt about that. It's just this separation in time that is difficult.

 

One of the reasons that I hated my previous job so much was that I had to go abroad a couple of times, meaning that I had to spend several days and nights without Mal. This separation I'm afraid is going to be much, much longer :( :( :mecry:

 

I don't think I've ever grieved so much for anyone as for Mallie :mecry:

Today I took Sparky and Kiera out for a long walk in Lyme Park. Despite the fact that it apparently is half term, we managed to find a quiet walk, which was very nice. We walked to a stony outcrop, which for years has been dubbed "flap jack rock" by myself and a neighbour, because we'd always stop there for a coffee and a home made flapjack, and the dogs would get a treat. Malcolm knew exactly where "flapjack rock" was, and up till the very last time that we were there, a few months ago, he would go ahead, in a steady trot, not stopping until he'd actually got to "flapjack rock". Today the three of us sat there quietly, me with a cereal bar and Sparky and Kiera with a large dog biscuit, and I thought of Mal. He would have enjoyed our walk today ....

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