My Son's School - Grrrrrrrrr!

[rufus the wonderdog]

Do you know , I have been at work as a SENCo in school since 7.45 this morning, until around 5.45. I have had two meetings beofre school, taught for 3 hours,managed 15 Learning Support Assistants, dealt with kids thrown out of other lessons, kids running out of school, kids spitting at teachers, planned for tommorows lessons, dealt with umpteen phonecall,filled in 20 page form for help for a pupil, dealt with numerous interpersonal problems for the students, filled in a 10 page referal for a place at a pupil referal Unit, done 2 annual reviews. Had a 10 min wee break, been shouted at by parents twice, because we are not mind readers and we are trying to help children adjust to the world, rather than vice versa. Been called a fuclking old bag by a girl, had two boys square up to me. Tried very hard not to shout at them and stop them intimidating other staff members. Been told by the LEA that I need to magic more suport out of nowhere for an autistic boy with 15 hours on his statement who we are currently giving 18 to. and loads of other phone answering and juggling problems

 

and I come on here and see people calling similar hard working people "numpties" for not being mind readers, not picking up on the same nuances that parents do, have you any idea hopw many students teachers dela with per week? how many pupils have special needs in one week

I for one am sick to death with people who thnk "kick up a stink " is a way to deal with it, what wonderful role models you are for your children

 

Tired , sick to death of puerile comments, teacher

 

Laura

I can empathise with you.

 

I get fed up of people pulling the NHS to pieces, particularly nurses, of which I am one. People seem to think that because we're sat at the desk we're just having a good old natter and ignoring patients. If they could only see the amount of paperwork that is involved every time a patient is admitted or discharged, the number of phone calls that are made each shift usually to chase up other people who haven't done their jobs properly or to organise complex discharges. Discharges aren't just a case of saying "off home then Mrs Jones" although I'm sure a lot of people out there do think that. Like yourself, as a ward nurse we end up co-ordinating everyone else and making sure that things do actually happen. And yes, in amongst all this we do look after the patients - well 99.9% of us do

 

 

And before anyone starts, I do sympathise with parents out there who have children who need extra help, for whatever reason. I would have fought tooth and nail to get things for my children but there are always two sides to everything and it helps if people remember that.

 

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you Laura

 

 

And I do hope that those who are trying to get much needed help for their children are successful

[Fiona711]

Laura i wish all teachers were more like you but sadly there are not many teachers who are willing to listen and interested in taking on board how to handle autistic kids in my experience

 

The high school i took my son out of , had him in a room alone and taught him nothing for almost 18 months and im not exagerating , one of the teachers decided to teach him his alphabet , this is in first year of high school not primary , and the way he went about it was to use Roberts name and baby talk R is for Rabbit O is for Orange etc etc now for an intelligent boy thats just a joke and pretty insulting .

 

That school took on a teacher who was supposed to be an expert in autism in children but had no idea of what she was doing , even the basic idea of how these kids mind work was beyond her and the amount of times i had to explain to this so called expert the very simple idea of stress levels and triggers for a meltdown was just unbelieveable and to have this women say to me regularly " oh i never thought of that " was just a joke , i think this thread is about peoples personal experiences with teachers not a teacher bashing thread

 

I was lucky that i had the ASIST team fighting Roberts corner , as the frustration was unbelievable i know my son i know how he behaves and reacts to stress , i seemed to be forever going over the same things time after time ecplaining over and over again how to deal with Robert , at the end of the day its not rocket science and yes i know teachers deal with loads of kids on a daily basis and its bound to be frustrating for them too , however some of them they could make life easier for everyone, themselves included if they would just take on board what they are told instead of having the attitude that they know better when its so obvious that they dont .

 

To be asked at the start of every meeting " Do you think Robert should be in a mainstream school " was disgusting and considering there are no special schools left in the area a terrible attitude to have . Considering my sons new school have him performing very well and in most of his classes , engaging with teaches and his peers , instead of being shut in a room with support teachers, who instead of teaching my son spent the time gossiping about other members of staff , just goes to show the difference when people are willing to listen and take on board advice from parents who lets face it know our kids better then anyone .

 

There are some great teachers out there who are interested and will go the extra mile for these kids but sadly they do seem to be in the minorioty at least up here anyway , there are a couple of teachers at Roberts school now who have no idea how to deal with him so if there are any problems they call for a member of staff who knows how to diffuse a situation rather than go in all guns blazing and make things worse , which to me is a sensible approach at the end of the day none of us get on with everyone they meet and there is always going to be a clash of personalities somewhere along the line so i for one would rather things were done this way .

 

The amount of times i have explained to teachers about not giving Robert choices but clear firm instructions is unbelievable , for example if you asked Robert would you like to do your maths work now ? He would say no and of course that could cause problems as some teachers would think he was being cheeky , not so , he was given a choice and made it so to him theres no point in asking him again he has answered the question , but if you say to him Robert you have to do your maths now there would be no problem , thats just a basic example because Robert thinks so literally and sees things very black and white i have learned how to get the best of him and when i pass on that information then get an irate teacher on the phone telling me Robert is refusing to work then of course i do get frustrated , especially when i then go to school and am told that he was asked if he wanted to do something instead of being told what is expected of him

 

Sorry i could be here all day going on about things that have gone wrong with Robert in school but im only trying to make the point that at the end of the day all we want is our kids to have a proper education and have their special needs considered , as i said some teachers are great and will go the extra mile but others are just not willing to make allowances and in fact because of their lack of understanding can make some pupils lifes hell and the parents who then have to go to school and sort out the problems that could easily have been avoided with the right approach in the first place .

 

Fran being disorganized is the norm for these kids im afraid its so frustrating knowing they are capable of doing x y and z but changing their way of thinking takes an awful lot of hard work and sometimes the best option is the school phychologist stepping in to help them retrain their thinking although that does not always work , accepting their wee quirks and working around them is sometimes the only way to go and good communicatin with the school does help especially if teachers are willing to write down what your son is going to need for the next day or a wee note in his homework book so you know what he needs to do can save a lot of frustration all round

 

Fiona xx

[scotslass]

i think this thread is about peoples personal experiences with teachers not a teacher bashing thread

 

 

Fiona xx

 

I agree.

 

I think it's important that we feel able to talk about our personal experiences on a forum such as this without the added anxiety of wondering whose toes we are treading on; as I said on another thread (about hospital hygiene standards), it's quite daunting to say anything at all, knowing that someone is bound to be taking the issue personally.

 

In my immediate circle, we have an educational psychologist, social workers and several teachers - including special needs/educational support teachers, a nursery head, a head of sixth form - but that wouldn't stop me being critical of schools or teachers where necessary, and they'd be the first to agree. If people didn't complain when things are patently wrong (as in those recent appalling cases of hospital neglect), the situation would never improve.

 

Teachers (and nurses, and others) on this forum are not necessarily representative of their profession. I was a journalist, originally; that doesn't prevent me from seeing that some journalism is exploitative, corrupt and unprincipled. I was also involved in dementia care for a time - that doesn't mean that I think all managers in the dementia sector are beyond reproach.

 

Having said that, I have no time for name-calling, though I can understand the frustration of parents or teachers (or patients) who feel that no-one is listening. I'd never advocate an angry response - it gets you nowhere. Far better for both parent and teacher to stand back and confront the situation honestly - but in these days of financial constraints and extra pressures on teachers, it's easy to understand why tempers flare on both sides.

[K9Fran]

don't get me wrong, I have huge respect for the job teachers do, I've been a Scout and Guide Leader, but even dealing with the 'nice' kids could be tough.

 

I'm an administrator for a company which runs workshops for PRU etc. If I didn't hand on messages, raise invoices when I'm supposed to, nothing would get done - it's called pressure and it comes with most jobs in this world I'm afraid.

 

But surely there is something wrong when the Head of Year has no record of being asked to 'reprimand' bullies who are bullying a child to such a degree that child has had suicidal thoughts?

 

BTW - #3 son is feeling confident he can manage to take everything he needs to school since we 'mucked out' his school bag, I suggested making a list for him based on his timetable, but I want him to have some say in how we handle it, so I've told him we'll give it until Easter and see if there is a visible improvement.

[greys mum]

I also had a time tables on the wall. Kitchen and bedroom.

Richard made them up on the computer and felt that he was involved with the decisions. Which for him is a big thing.

 

Must admit the biggest stumbling block was his dad. Cos he buried his head in the sand and would never admit that Richard needed help until the school really put it's point across forcibly. (Threatening exclusion) That must have made it so hard for the school and the teachers to get anything in place to help. (Especially if they were female )

 

 

 

Do you know what Laura? You and the teaching profession have my utmost respect. You do a job that I could never do. I do love children, but couldn't handle a classful for 30 seconds.

Edited March 20, 2009 by greys mum

[Tempest]

Laura. As someone who has recently returned to teaching I'm being reminded extremely quickly of the pressures and strains of the job and just how incredibly hard it is.

 

Fran - as someone who has taught at both secondary and primary level I think part of the problem is that your son's primary teacher would have known him incredibly well due to the amount of time he spent in the class with her. At secondary school you may see pupils for a couple of hours a week and you probably deal with hundreds of pupils during your teaching week - unfortunately you just don't get to know them as well - its impossible really So I think any comparisom with the primary experience your son had is really hard to make iyswim.

 

The only thing I noticed you said in your opening post was 'Where was the teacher?'. As a teacher I'm often extremely busy when pupils are entering and leaving the room - I may be writing the work for the lesson up on the board while they're coming in or sorting out books, worksheets or dealing with an invidual pupil and its just impossible to be aware of everything that is going on (particularly in corridors and doorways) without quite literally having eyes in the back of your head. It may well be that the teacher only saw your sons reaction to the lad who had been winding him up - i.e. him being bashed up against the wall and its really difficult in the those kinds of situations in that you can only deal with what you've seen. It may well be that your son had been wound up by this other lad but if the teacher has not seen/heard that then its impossible to really act on it. However there would need to be some kind of action taking for someone being thrown up against a wall and I'm gusessing that's why the school has implemented the internal exclusion. I would obviously take into account what your son had said about the bullies and I'd be making sure that they would be being spoken to but its hard to punish for something that you've not seen/heard take place if that makes sense?

 

Am just trying to put it across from the teachers viewpiont.

[K9Fran]

Thanks for all the input, am feeling like a terrible mother now because #2 son was internally excluded yesterday for calling a teacher a 'stupid cow' - I totally support the school in this 100% - the teacher was disciplining his friend and he decided to stand up for his friend - obviously there are right and wrong ways to go about this, and he chose the wrong way - hopefully loosing his keyboard for a week will get the message across..........

 

Greys Mum - OH needs a security pass for work, and regularly leaves with out it! But I'm not supposed to point that sort of thing out infront of the children - GRRRRRR!